


The Things They Never Tell You in Grad School

by LedaSF



Series: The Things They Never Tell You in Graduate School [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Academic Woes, Gen, Gen Work, Literary References & Allusions, Magic, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 63,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6403816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LedaSF/pseuds/LedaSF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sia's academic career hinges on finishing her masterwork about the royal house of Asgard. Her friend Jane just happens to be able to connect her to some very inside sources. Sia is given two weeks in the palace library in Asgard to do research. A lot can happen in two weeks . . . and does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Balcony Scene

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to the wonderful ladymacbeth99 for her encouragement to actually post this!
> 
> The story is set with the MCU characters, but with some pieces of Norse mythology mixed in. It's after the first "Thor" movie, but since Loki is present, you can just sort of gloss over the end of the movie and fill in with your own ideas about what happened instead of the brothers breaking the Bifrost and Loki letting go. So, plenty of people are annoyed at Loki, but he hasn't tried to take over the Earth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sia's first evening in Asgard just happens to be the night of the Harvest feast. Wine, altitude, and Bifrost lag are a heady combination for a mere mortal.
> 
> Each chapter has a song associated with it, so I'll be adding those in the chapter notes. This chapter is "O Fortuna" from Carl Orff's "Carmina Burana". https://youtu.be/BNWpZ-Y_KvU

“Jane! Dr. Foster!”

Oh, gods, here we go again.

I had retreated to the balcony for some fresh air to clear my head. The Asgardian wine, and the altitude, had combined to make me unexpectedly dizzy.

I turned to see who was calling. A few of the young ladies of the Asgardian court, and a young man who clearly wished to be older, were staring at me.

“If you’re looking for Dr. Foster, you’ll have to ask Heimdall to send you to Midgard.”

The youths stared for a moment. One of the ladies, a petite redhead, found her tongue. “Please excuse us, my lady. We thought you were Dr. Foster, and were pleased that she would be visiting.”

“I understand. But not every woman with dark hair is Jane Foster.”

The brunette spoke up. “I have that problem _all_ the time,” she stated with a mixture of pride and mock exasperation.

“You would be fortunate to be as intelligent as Dr. Foster,” I replied coolly.

The other ladies laughed. The brunette sunk into a pout. The young man struggled to come up with a reply in defense of his friend, but before he could speak, the redhead cut in. “We are very sorry to have you disturbed you, my lady. We shall leave you to enjoy the view. A lovely view, is it not?”

“It is, indeed, dear girl. Thank you for your courtesy.”

The redhead grabbed the boy’s shoulder and started to push him back into the palace, and pulling the other young women along with her.

“But I want to ask her about Midgard!” whined the brunette.

“She was rude to Ingdis! She should apologize!” fumed the boy.

“We were the ones who were rude, interrupting her. Shut up.” The redhead cuffed the boy’s ear.

“Let’s go drink!” proposed Ingdis. “It is a festival, after all!”

In hearty agreement, the youngsters traced their way back to the feast hall, leaving me once again in peace.

* * *

I turned my back to the retreating youths, and adjusted my eyes to the darkness. Before me lay Asgard, dark and splendid, flickering with torches and fires of celebration of the harvest. The people were making most merry, and the sounds of revelry, both from within and without the palace, echoed on the hills.

Leaning on the stone railing, I took several deep breaths, hoping to clear my head. The landscape stilled, and I was starting to relax and let go of my irritation at once again being mistaken for my friend. Jane and I had known each other since our undergraduate days, and stayed in touch even as our graduate work and eventual jobs took us to separate points on the globe.

Which is how I found myself in Asgard, completing my research for my latest book. Jane and I had met up when she was in town for a conference, and I told her how I was feeling stuck about finding proper sources for my topic. Both of us were a bit tipsy, and giggled about the fact that she could just ask Thor to let me spend a few weeks in Asgard, doing research in the palace library.

And here I am.

The trip on the Bifrost was indescribable. Even as someone who was written thousands, if not millions, of words academically and professionally, that is the one experience in my life for which I have no words. Exhilirating, and at the same time, utterly depleting. And I’d arrived the day of the harvest feast, which started quite early and ran even later. I hadn’t expected the Asgardian wine to be so much more potent than Midgard wine, and combined with the Bifrost lag and the thin mountain air, I was not quite myself.

I was also really done with being mistaken for Jane.

“Why, Jane Foster! What a delightful surprise! Thor didn’t tell me you were visiting!” The voice carried a completely polite tone, yet cool, as though being polite was the most enthusiasm it could muster.

Angry, tipsy, and unsteady, I turned and raised the goblet I was holding, ready to throw it at the returning youth. Not particularly ladylike, but I was in no mood to be mocked by a beardless youth for the entertainment of a girl who wouldn’t have given him a minute for a kiss.

The goblet sailed out of my hand, towards . . . _ohmygodno_! A tall man in a green and black cloak. I had no idea who he was, but I knew that my stay in Asgard was ending that very instant. How would I ever apologize to Jane and to Thor?

The man laughed, and caught the goblet with a graceful twist of his gloved hand. “Is this usually how you greet your callers, my lady?”

“I—I am so sorry. I thought you were that horrible boy, returning to annoy me.” The adrenaline racing in my veins brought me instant sobriety, and a keen awareness of all I had just lost through my rash response.

“It’s just that everyone keeps addressing me as Dr. Foster, and I love Jane dearly, and if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be here, but it’s always about Jane and I . . . .” My voice trailed off. I realized my explanation had only made things worse; here I was, complaining about being mistaken for the very person who had made this whole thing possible.

“You are tired of living in her shadow, perhaps?”

“No. Oh, no! I don’t think I’m in her shadow at all. She’s so intelligent, and of course science is more highly valued than literature, so it’s not a surprise that so many opportunities have been given to her.” _Oh, my god, just shut up now_. _Whoever he is, he doesn’t care about your work, your career, or anything about you._

“But you do live in the shadows.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Well, I do spend a lot of time in dimly lit libraries,” I replied, attempting to bring a bit of levity to the situation. This conversation had started badly, and was going downhill at breathtaking speed.

“Which explains your lovely, pale complexion.” The man stepped forward, and touched my cheek lightly with his gloved hand. I stepped back towards the railing.

“I don’t do well in sunlight. I burn easily.” My heart was racing, and I could hear it pounding in my head.

The man’s eyes flickered with amusement. “Is that so?”

I realized I wasn’t breathing. _What the hell is wrong with me? I am being a complete idiot here. This isn’t like me at all._

“Yes. I . . .” I had no idea what to say. Everything I could think of sounded trite and ridiculous.

“Your goblet is empty, my lady. Shall we find something to fill it?” His green eyes looked directly into mine. To my surprise, I could hear him thinking, but the words were indistinct.

“Yes, I . . . No, I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong. I feel dizzy.” I could feel myself swaying towards the railing.

The man grabbed me about the waist, and guided me to a divan. Somehow, I was sitting, looking out at the night, holding a goblet of water.

“The Asgardian air requires time for adjustment if one is unaccustomed to breathing it.” He smiled, and tilted the cup to encourage me to drink. I stared at him.

“It’s just water. It’s perfectly safe.”

I hesitated.

“I’ll drink some first, if it will make you feel better,” he offered by way of assurance, his green eyes locked onto mine.

“No, no, it’s fine. Thank you.” I drank, and tasted the clearest, sweetest, most amazing liquid. If this was Asgardian water, who needed wine?

“I’m sorry I threw the goblet at you. That wasn’t very polite. Even if it had been that wretched boy returning to try to impress Ingdis. I really am not like that. I’m usually a very calm person. I don’t know what happened.” I stared at him, hoping my apology was sufficient.

“Oh, that’s just Konur. He’ll be fine in 20 years or so, assuming no one kills him before he matures.” This was stated with such detachment that I knew the young man was in no danger. Well, not from the speaker, at least. I realized I had much to learn about Asgardian social structure. Nothing in all of my years of research and teaching had even hinted at anything like this.

My head began to clear again, and I realized I was alone on a dark balcony with a man I didn’t know. For a moment, the instincts honed through years of urban living stirred, and I briefly contemplated how to make my getaway. Another breath, another moment, and I realized that I was in perhaps the safest place of all—Odin’s palace, filled with guards, and occupied by my best friend’s boyfriend, who just happened to be a warrior god. I laughed.

“Oh, good, you’re laughing at my jokes. I do hope this means you are feeling better,” crooned the man, gazing at me with concern.

“Yes, I am, thank you, my lord.”

His lips twitched in a bemused smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I think I just said something wrong. But I don’t know who you are, and I apologize if I have used the wrong honorific.” _Good going, Sia - first you throw a goblet at the man, and now you’ve just insulted him_.

“No, no, ‘my lord’ is completely appropriate, although ‘Your Highness’ is the preferred form of address”, he said, gesturing to the circlet glinting in the torch light.

“ _Your Highness”? Oh my god. This is Prince Loki. Thor’s brother. Say goodbye to Asgard, Sia. You’ve totally blown this one._

_No, wait. Prince Loki was wearing blue at the feast. This can’t be him._

“The color shifts in the light. But I am wearing green.” He smiled coolly.

_How did you not recognize the circlet? What the hell kind of historian are you not to see it?_

I closed my eyes and laid back against the cushions of the divan. I knew I would be going home, back to Midgard, in the morning. I’ve offended one of the Crown Princes twice in less than five minutes. That’s me, always overachieving.

_Jane is going to kill me._

I opened my eyes, and met the man’s gaze as steadily as possible under the circumstances.

“Prince Loki, please accept my apologies for my behavior. I really am not the sort of woman who throws goblets at random gentlemen. Or princes, for that matter.”

“Apology accepted, dear Lady Sia.”

_He knows my name._

“Of course I know your name. Everyone at the Court knows that you’re Jane’s friend, here to do research for your work in Midgard. The Allfather was less than pleased with the idea, but the Queen and I both persuaded him it would be a useful gesture of goodwill towards your planet to create an exceptional opportunity for an exceptional scholar.”

_Frigga and Loki persuaded Odin to let me come here. Thor didn’t mention that. He said it was “but a trifle” to arrange my visit._

“I am grateful for your efforts on my behalf, Your Highness.”

“But a trifle, dear lady, yet I am glad you are pleased. Dr. Foster has spoken highly of your work, and of you.”

_Really? She has? I mean, she’s always been supportive, but I never had the impression that she really paid attention to anything I do._

“That’s very kind of her. Jane is a lovely person.”

The Prince smirked. “My brother certainly thinks so. It’s good to hear a more objective party express a positive opinion of her. Mother likes her well enough, for her intelligence. But she’s not Queen material, and Father is absolutely opposed to the idea of Thor partnering with a mortal woman.”

“Perhaps Odin would prefer Thor choose a mortal man for his consort?” The words were out of my mouth before I’d finished thinking them. _Dammit. Think,_ then _speak._

The Prince laughed. “That would be an entertaining sight! However, the gender is not Odin’s worry. He simply believes that we have no business becoming involved with mortals on an individual basis. We defend the denizens of the Realms, as is our duty, but Odin is utterly opposed to the idea of befriending them. They are too different, our ways are mysterious to them. And, of course, there is the reality that our lives are long, and yours — so brief.”

_Right. Yes. I am mortal._

“I am sorry, Lady Sia. I did not mean to speak so . . . harshly.” Prince Loki seemed to be genuinely concerned.

“Thank you, Your Highness. I am keenly aware of my own mortality, and it is not an offense to remind me of it.” _If you only knew, you long-lived god, I have no doubt as to the finite nature of my existence._

“Are you enjoying your stay in Asgard?” The tone was polite, pleasant, and bland.

“This is only my first day here, but so far, it’s been the most interesting day of my life.” A bit thrown by the most recent topic, I found myself unable to match his detachment.

“Meeting so many people I’ve only read about—feeling like I should know them, yet here they are, living and walking and talking, and not just beings out of myth.”

The Prince shifted. “We are all myths. Is that not what your Midgardian philosopher Campbell tells you?”

“Joseph Campbell? Well, yes. That each of us goes through the Hero’s Journey in our life, at least once, creating our own life as a myth.” I could see the syllabus of the course I’d taught on Campbell rising at the back of my head.

“Which makes the word ‘myth’ even more applicable, taking it as ‘Make Yourself The Hero’, yes?” the Prince added.

“Wait, you’ve read Joseph Campbell?” I stared in disbelief.

“I have read many of your Midgardian books, as well as books from all of the Realms. Knowledge is not owned or confined to only one culture, one people, one Realm. As a ruler, it is important that I know the philosophies and beliefs of all my people.”

_Right. He’s a Prince. Which means one day he’ll be a King. He has to know everything about everything._

_Holy cats, I’m talking with_ Loki _. The Dean of Faculty is never going to believe this_.

“Do _you_ believe it? That’s all that matters.” Prince Loki looked directly at me.

“I do. I mean, I do, but it’s just so incredible, and I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and it was just a dream, and I’ll be back in my apartment in San Francisco, and I’ll still have all this unfinished work.”

“This book is very important to you.”

“Yes, it is, Your Highness. This is the result of 30 years of work, of research, of study, of traveling the world to find everything that can possibly be found. It has to be right. It has to be perfect. This is my life, all in one book.”

“And now you travel not just the world, but the Realms, on your quest.”

“Yes. I do. It’s my life. I would go anywhere to find what I need.”

“I hope then, dear lady, that you find what you need here, so that you may cease your searching.”

“If what I need cannot be found in the library of Asgard, then it does not exist. This place is the seat and source of all knowledge. What exists in Midgard is but a shadow of this place.”

“Ah, you think so?” The Prince looked skeptical.

“There is no other civilization as ancient or as advanced still in existence. It must be so,” I replied with my usual statement on the subject. I’d debated this countless times in lectures, workshops, and academic forums of all kinds. This was a familiar and easy conversation.

“There are parts of each Realm which even Asgard does not know about,” he replied. “Perhaps one of those is the actual source, and Asgard is but the shadow?”

“If it’s unknown to Asgard, then we mere mortals have no way of knowing. But if there is such a place, I would go there!”

The Prince chuckled. “Would you? Without knowing anything about it?”

“Well, I’d want to know the weather, so I could pack appropriately, and whether there’s electricity, so I know whether to bring a laptop or notebooks and pens. But yes, I’d go!” I found myself sitting up straight on the edge of the divan, ready to spring up.

“I believe you would,” replied the Prince, with amusement.

A wave of exhaustion quickly replaced the exhilaration.

“For now, however, I should go to sleep. Today has been quite the day, and I want to make an early start tomorrow. Thor has said I will have full access to the library, and I have only two weeks here, so I want to spend every minute possible among the books. Not that I don’t enjoy your company, Your Highness,” I added quickly, “It’s just that my time is so short.”

“No offense taken, my lady.” He stood, made a small bow, and offered me his arm. “Do you know your way back to your chambers?”

“Actually, I don’t think I do. Sóldís guided me to the feast hall, but I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure which side of the palace I’ve ended up on.”

“I shall take you back to the hall, and to Sóldís.”

“Thank you, Your Highness. That’s very kind of you.” I rested my hand lightly on his arm. This was all so familiar; all those years of theatre were finally proving of use.

Prince Loki said nothing as we walked, and I felt no reason to break his silence. He was shielding his thoughts, but not the fact of his thinking.

* * *

 We turned a corner, and the light and noise of the crowd washed over us. I reeled a bit, and the Prince steadied me with his other hand.

“Sóldís! Sóldís!” the Prince called out.

Sóldís hastened to the Prince’s summons.

“Your Highness”, she said, bowing low. “I see you have met Prince Thor’s guest.”

“I found Lady Sia on the balcony. She is overcome from her travels, and not yet accustomed to our Asgardian air. Please see her to her chambers, and ensure she has all she requires.”

“I shall, Your Highness. Prince Thor has already made arrangements for her, and I am at her side for all else she might need.”

“Very well then, Sóldís. Thank you for your service to Thor’s guest.”

The Prince turned, made another little bow, and took my hand.

“I wish you sweet rest, Lady Sia, and a most rewarding day tomorrow. I hope you shall enjoy your time in Asgard, and that my brother takes proper care of you.”

“Thank you, Your Highness. I appreciate your gracious care this evening.” I found myself reverencing by reflex, and looking up into those flashing green eyes. I felt myself sway slightly, and straightened quickly to recover my balance.

“May you rest well also, Your Highness.”

Prince Loki smiled. I felt like a lamb gazing up at a wolf.

“Thank you, lady. Goodnight.” He released my hand and turned towards the dais, to rejoin his family at the fore of the hall.

Sóldís gestured to a nearby passageway. “Come now, my dear, let’s get you comfortable and tucked in. I know you’re eager for tomorrow, but it will be a much better day if you have a good night’s sleep first!”

As Sóldís led me to my chambers, I made a mental map of the passageways so I would not be lost again.

I felt slightly disappointed that Prince Loki was not walking with me.

* * *

 “Loki, what happened to Sia?” demanded Thor, jumping up from the table.

“She was faint from the wine and the thin air, brother,” Loki replied flatly. “Sóldís has taken her to her chambers to tend to her.”

“She is Jane’s friend, and under my protection, and if you so much as _think_ —“ Thor blustered.

“Brother, please! If any of our Asgardian ladies were in such distress, would you question my coming to their aid?” Loki looked at Thor with the blandest of smiles.

“I know your ways, Loki! As does Berthe.” Thor’s eyes narrowed. “Sia does not.”

Loki laughed, a full and hearty laugh, unexpected from him. “The lady is a scholar of Norse literature, Thor. Of course she knows my ways. She knows all about me. About you. About all of us.”

Unappeased, Thor continued. “She knows the legends and myths, brother. She has not had to deal with your trickery in person.”

“I assure you, Thor, that I hold even less interest in your guest than I hold in Berthe.” Loki did not blink. “I, for one, care not for mortals and their brief lives.”

Thor flinched inside, but remained firm to Loki’s eyes. “Loki! You—“

“Both of you, stop. Now.” Frigga set her cup upon the table with a commanding gesture. “I will hear no more of this. This night is for revelry, for giving thanks. Can you not simply enjoy a feast together for a few hours without arguing?”

“I am sorry, Mother.” Loki bowed, looking into Frigga’s blue eyes. Frigga probed, but could not read his thoughts.

“I, too, am sorry.” Thor bowed. “I will do better to love my brother.” Frigga nodded, convinced of Thor’s words.

“Very well. Come, let us have our goblets refilled, and toast to another successful harvest for Asgard.”

The Princes resumed their seats at their mother’s side. The page filled the goblets with mead, and the three toasted, and drank, silently.

 


	2. Chapter 2: A Bit of Backtracking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, how did Sia get here, anyway?
> 
> Suggested music: The Talking Heads, "Once in a Lifetime". https://youtu.be/98AJUj-qxHI?list=RD98AJUj-qxHI

“Easy, there, my lady. Allow me to help. Have a seat, and I’ll take care of you.” Sóldís eased me onto a divan, arranging a pillow at my back. “You’ve had quite the day, with the trip from Midgard, and the feast. And the air—all our visitors say the same thing, that it takes a lot of getting used to. I’ll just start the bath, and turn down the bed, and be right back.” Sóldís bustled off to the small bathing room in my suite.

I closed my eyes, and tried to process my day. Up at 7:00 am, as usual. Yoga, meditation, breakfast, shower. Packing for my trip, putting an “Out of Office” message on my email and voicemail. Jane stopped by to go over the essentials for housesitting. She was extending her time after the conference to take a vacation in San Francisco, so she was staying at my apartment. Saves her the cost of a hotel, and saves me having to find a reliable house sitter. A perfectly normal start to a trip.

Thor was due to arrive at 9:30 AM. Exactly as the clock ticked over, a roar of thunder and a flash of brilliant rainbow light from the deck outside filled the living room. Out of the light and noise appeared Thor.

Jane had told me what to expect, but it was still an amazing experience. Here was Thor, God of Thunder, holding Mjolnir, materializing off the Bifrost _in my living room_.

Thor and Jane greeted each other affectionately, but politely. Jane introduced us, and I thanked Thor for the opportunity presented.

“Jane speaks highly of you, Sia,” he beamed. “Anyone Jane respects, I respect. And I am pleased to be of service to someone so dear to Jane.”

“I really cannot thank the both of you enough,” I replied. “Really, I can’t. This is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it’s going to make all the difference in my book. This is a miracle.”

Jane and Thor looked at each other.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just go close up my bag and pull myself together. Back in a few minutes!” I trilled brightly, happy to give them a bit of time alone. And happy to have a few minutes to put my mind straight for the adventure I was about to undertake.

In my bedroom, I went over my packing list as I put each item into my messenger bag. Jane had assured me that I wouldn’t need to take much, that Asgard provided the best of everything for its guests. Nevertheless, I had a few items that I never travel without, and I wanted to ensure they were in the bag. Most of the bag was filled with notebooks and pen refills. The laptop was packed, but I wasn’t sure I would want to use it, even though I’d been assured that power supply was not a concern.

Satisfied that I had everything I really wanted to take in the messenger bag, I zipped it closed, put on my hat and jacket, and headed back to the living room.

“So, I think I’m ready!” I called down the hall to let my friends know of my return.

I couldn’t tell who was more pleased at the few minutes they’d managed to have together. Jane was beaming, and Thor had a smile as bright as gold.

“Right, then. Remember what I told you,” Jane said. “Step close in, and hold on tight.”

“But not too tight, right?” I replied, teasingly.

“Right!” Jane winked at me.

“Oh, Jane, you have no need to—“ Thor began.

“Thor, really, it’s fine!” Jane cut in. The two of us dissolved into laughter.

I gave Jane a long hug, “Thank you so much for this. I really can’t —“

“Yes, you can. You can absorb every word in that library, and write the best book this world has ever seen!” replied Jane.

“Right! Yes! I can do that!” Cheered by Jane’s encouragement, and caught up in the excitement of the start of the journey, I felt everything was possible.

I picked up my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and stood next to Thor. _Goodness, he is tall, isn’t he?_

“Am I close enough?” I looked up, attempting to meet his gaze.

Thor wrapped an arm around me and lifted me off my feet. “Now you are!” He and Jane laughed. Thor raised his arm, extending Mjolnir to the sky. “Ready, Heimdall!” he called to the sky.

Jane’s call of “See you in two weeks!” was overwhelmed by the most amazing noise. The sound of the Universe, the sound of stars singing, of planets turning, of the very pulse of being roared in my ears. The intense light, all colors, every color imaginable, colors I’d never imagined, swirled and danced all around us.

Time passed, slowly or quickly, a lot or a little. I was uncertain of anything except being held tightly as the Universe spun and twirled.

Then, just as suddenly, we landed.

Still holding me, Thor greeted Heimdall, and introduced us. The stars still sang in my ears, the dancing lights still filled my eyes, and I couldn’t find my feet. Thor set me on the ground, keeping his arm around me in support.

“Welcome to Asgard, Lady Sia.” Heimdall’s low voice mixed with the music of the Bifrost in a strange song.

“Thank you, Heimdall.” _I am conversing with Heimdall_.

“Lady Sia, it seems that the Bifrost has had a more extreme effect on you than it does on most travelers,” he offered.

“I’m . . . fine,” I replied, wobbling. Thor held me steady as I attempted to breathe and center. “Thank you, both.”

“The Bifrost affects everyone differently. You should rest.” Heimdall had seen this for centuries—of course he was right.

Thor turned to me. “Are you well enough to ride? I can call a carriage for you.”

The thought of riding a horse through Asgard snapped me back to my senses. “I would be delighted to ride!”

“Well, then, let us ride!” Thor escorted me out of the chamber, to two horses and a coterie of mounted attendants.

A young man in a blue cap took my bag, as another man in brown held the most beautiful roan mare. “Do you require assistance, Lady Sia? I can fetch a step if you require.”

Thor laughed. “Thank you, Sigmund, but I’ll help her!”

Thor lifted me up onto the saddle and handed me the reins, then mounted his own horse. “Let us to the palace, then!”

We set off at a brisk pace, guards surrounding the two of us as we rode.

“Is this a comfortable pace for you, Sia?”

_I am not dreaming. This is real. I am riding through Asgard on a horse. Conversing with Thor._

“Yes, thank you. I’ve ridden since I was a girl, so this is pleasantly familiar. Although I’ve never ridden a horse so fine on Midgard.”

Thor laughed. I liked him even more. Despite the traditional tales of him as a stern and humorless deity, the real being was so much more interesting.

“Asgard has the finest horses in all the Realms! We should make sure you have time to ride while you are here, that you do not spend all of your time alone in the library.”

We made pleasant conversation on the short ride to the palace, despite the throngs in the streets. Having a mounted guard was certainly useful for clearing the way. The people of Asgard bowed as we rode by, waving and cheering for their Prince.

Inside the palace, Sóldís was waiting in one of the small receiving rooms. Thor introduced us, and instructed a young page standing nearby to carry my bag to my chamber. “Tonight is our harvest feast, and I have some preparations to attend to, Lady Sia,” Thor said. “Sóldís is at your beck and call. Whatever you require, she shall obtain for you. And you will be my guest tonight.”

He turned to Sóldís. “Please consult with Mother as to the seating, and ensure that Lady Sia arrives on time.”

“Of course, Prince Thor. We wouldn’t have it any other way!” She curtsied, then leaned in, whispering, “And I’ll make sure she’s properly dressed. That Midgardian garb does not do her justice.”

Thor chuckled. “My thanks, Sóldís.”

“Lady Sia, I will see you this evening. Again, if you require anything, it is yours for the asking.” Thor turned and strode down one of the many hallways leading out from the receiving room.

Sóldís led me through a maze of hallways, the page following behind. As we walked, Sóldís told me about the upcoming feast, and providing instruction on minor points of etiquette. Much of it was familiar to me from my historical research, but it was fascinating to hear it as an active social practice, and not simply history.

“And as you’re right-handed, your napkin will go over your left shoulder,” Sóldís was reminding me as we approached the door to my chamber. She opened the door, and the page carried the bag to the table in the center of the room, and set it down with as much grace as he could muster.

“Thank you for carrying my bag.”

“Lady Sia, it was an honor.” He bowed slightly. “Lady Sóldís, am I dismissed?”

“Yes, lad, thank you, return to your knight,” Sóldís replied, smiling. “You wouldn’t want to be late for the feast now!”

“Thank you, Lady.” The page made another stiff bow, and left the room, closing the door behind him.

“You’ll be wanting a bath, and a nap, I imagine,” began Sóldís. “They say traveling the Bifrost makes a person tired if you’re not used to it. And you want to be rested. Tonight is going to be a long night!”

“Yes, thank you, Lady Sóldís,” I replied. “That sounds perfect.” It was already late afternoon in Asgard, and even though my day had just begun, I felt the time change affecting my energy.

I turned and looked at my messenger bag, which seemed so out of place in this palace.

“Just leave that for me, Lady Sia, I’ll unpack while you’re in the bath.”

“Thank you, Lady Sóldís.” A sudden rush of exhaustion, and gratitude, swept over me.

“Just ‘Sóldís’ is fine, Lady Sia. As I am to be your companion, there is no need for formality, Lady Sia.”

_Ah. She will be formal with me, but she is trying to put me at ease._ “Thank you, Sóldís. I look forward to the pleasure of your company.”

“Let’s get you into that bath, now,” murmured Sóldís, and I was happy to comply.

* * *

Having woken me from a dreamless sleep, Sóldís perched me onto a dressing chair facing away from the mirror, and swirled about with fabric and brushes and pins. I felt like Cinderella, being dressed by a fairy godmother. All that was missing were the singing mice.

The gown was beautiful. Jane had told Thor my favorite colors, and Sóldís had procured what she termed “a proper wardrobe” for my visit. My outfit for the feast was an underdress of pale silver silk, and an overdress of sapphire blue in the same silk, with a silver girdle set with sodalite draped around my waist and over my hips.

“The gown does have a necklace to match, Lady Sia.” Sóldís opened a small velvet box, in which were laid out a sodalite necklace and matching drop earrings.

I stared at the jewels and bit my lip. Lovely, yes. But not mine.

“They go so well with your eyes, Lady Sia. They were chosen just for you.”

I looked up at Sóldís, confused. “Chosen for me?”

“Yes, my lady. The Queen instructed me to make sure you would be suitably presentable for the feast, as things here are somewhat different than Midgard.”

_Frigga bothered about my wardrobe, including jewelry. This is unreal. Except, it’s real._

“And the sodalite exactly matches your overdress. So, really, how could you say no?” Sóldís gazed at me, her eyes letting me know that “no” was not the correct answer.

“You are right, Sóldís! The jewels are lovely, and I must thank the Queen for her exquisite choice.”

I sat very still as Sóldís placed the necklace just so, and fastened it.

I sat very still as she placed the earrings in my ears.

I sat very still as she fussed about, tucking stray bits of hair back into the braids she’d carefully woven, humming to herself.

“A matching comb to finish the braids, of course.” I felt something tucked into the knot of braids at the crown.

“And—here you are!” Sóldís exclaimed, and turned me to the mirror.

I barely recognized myself, and at the same time, the image was very familiar. Years of theatre had accustomed me to seeing myself in various gowns and guises, but this was a shock—this was _real_. Not playing dress up on a stage. I was wearing real clothes, not a costume. I was wearing real jewels, not cut glass.

I stared at the mirror.

“Are you not pleased, Lady Sia?” Sóldís’ worry rang in her voice.

“I—oh, I am beyond pleased, Sóldís! I just—I have never looked like this before.” I continued staring in the mirror.

“You shall look like this every day you are in Asgard, Lady Sia,” Sóldís intoned. “My job is to ensure you do.”

* * *

The maze of passageways quickly blurred, and I was grateful that Sóldís was to be my steady guide during my stay at the palace.

“Right, then, let’s have one more look!”

Sóldís examined me head to toe. Satisfied that everything was exactly as it should be, she led me into the Great Hall.

I caught my breath, and tried to remind myself that this was really happening.

Straight out of legend, the hall was arched over by magnificently carved wooden beams. Windows as tall as ships’ sails displayed the beauty of Asgard all around. The harvest bonfire danced in the giant hearth, and the hall was lit with torches producing great light and no smoke. Massive tables lined the hall, with a smaller table at the head of the hall for the royal family.

_I am not dreaming. This is real._

“Her Majesty has given you a place at the table with some of her ladies for company. They are expecting you.”

Sóldís led me to one of the tables near the front of the hall, running perpendicular to the dais.

“Lady Sia, your place will be here.” Sóldís gestured to an empty seat between two of Frigga’s attendants.

A man in blue livery came forward and moved the chair back for me to sit. I took my place.

“Lady Helen and Lady Johanna will be your companions this evening, and I am here for all you may require.” Sóldís gestured to the ladies on either side of me, and took her place behind me. I noticed the two ladies next to me, and the other ladies at the table, were unattended.

“Thank you, Sóldís. As this is a feast night, perhaps you would wish to join your own folk for the celebrations? I am certain these charming ladies are all the company I need.”

“As you wish, Lady Sia! Thank you! But I shall be by now and then to check on you.” Sóldís curtsied, and took her leave.

“Lady Sia, it’s such a pleasure to meet you. Prince Thor has told us about your work,” began Lady Helen.

“Yes, the Prince says you are a scholar! What an interesting occupation that must be for you on Midgard,” chimed in Lady Johanna.

“I do enjoy my work. It’s taken me all over the world. And now to a whole new realm!” I was determined to be polite and positive. Thankful once again for my theatrical training, I continued, “And in my travels, I’ve been fortunate to meet many wonderful people. And now here I am, sharing a table with you two lovely ladies!”

Lady Helen beamed, and even Lady Johanna allowed herself to take the compliment.

“Prince Thor says you are a friend of his—friend, Jane Foster,” offered Lady Johanna.

“Yes, Dr. Foster—Jane—and I studied together at university, and have remained friends since. She’s an amazing person, so intelligent.”

“I believe Prince Thor admires more than her intellect,” cooed Lady Johanna. Lady Helen’s face remained frozen in a smile, and the other ladies were suddenly fascinated by something on the other side of the hall.

“Jane is a truly kind person, with a large heart. Everyone who meets her likes her.” _Unlike me, who is just a little too sharp around the edges_. _Ah, well, at least I am respected for my work, and those who know me well love me._

“Jane Foster! What a nice surprise!” came a voice from behind the table.

The three of us looked around as Volstagg came around to the front of our table.

“Volstagg, this is Lady Sia, a friend of Jane’s,” hissed Lady Johanna. She was clearly enjoying correcting his mistake.

“Oh, a thousand pardons, Lady Sia! From the back, with the dark hair, I just assumed you were Jane!” Volstagg waggled his beard, and bowed. “We don’t get a lot of lovely ladies visiting from Midgard - I hope you understand my error! It’s a pleasure to meet a friend of Jane’s. Is she well?”

“Jane is quite well, thank you, Volstagg,” I replied with a smile. Regardless of Lady Johanna’s attitude, I liked him immediately—and perhaps even more so because of her attitude.

“Prince Thor better be careful—you’re a pretty one! And we all know he has a weakness for ladies from Midgard!” Volstagg laughed. Lady Helen and I joined him. Lady Johanna frowned in feigned disapproval.

“I appreciate the compliment, Volstagg. You are kind. However, I am here to spend my time in the palace library, completing research for a book I’m writing.”

“A book! Excellent! And we are welcoming you with a feast in your honor!” Volstagg laughed again, and this time we all joined in.

“I am flattered, Volstagg, but I think perhaps this feast has a larger significance than my arrival in Asgard.”

“Oh, no, lady! Nothing is more important than the arrival of a beautiful woman to these halls!” Volstagg boomed.

“Except, perhaps, for the arrival of a beautiful feast?” I teased.

“Fortunately, my lady, these things coincide in perfect timing!” Volstagg roared with laughter. “And now, ladies, if I may take my leave—the feast will begin soon, and I don’t want to miss it!” Volstagg bowed with a flourish, and made his way off into the crowd.

“That man—“ began Lady Johanna.

“Is delightfully funny, and I’m pleased to have met him,” I interrupted, with all the sweetness I could muster.

Lady Johanna was obviously displeased that I did not take her side, and busied herself adjusting her napkin. Lady Helen gave me a cautious smile.

The Great Hall suddenly fell silent. A flourish of trumpets announced the entrance of the royal family, and all present rose.

First, Odin, magnificent in brown and gold velvet, escorting Frigga, his consort of centuries. Resplendent in silks of shifting hues of blue and purple, garlanded with stones of amber, she moved with all the grace one imagines a goddess to possess.

Behind them walked Thor, elegant in his red court outfit. Next to him, a slightly younger man in blue. _That must be Loki, Thor’s brother_. _Interesting how they dress similarly, except for the colors. But of course, Loki wears his mother’s colors. He wouldn’t wear Odin’s colors._

They took their places at the head table, and received the acclaim of their people.

After the last shout faded, Odin addressed the crowd, giving thanks for their service, giving thanks for the successful harvest, giving thanks for the prosperity and peace of Asgard and the Nine Realms.

“Let the feast commence!” the King proclaimed. A gong sounded, and all sat down to share the bounty of the harvest.

* * *

I lost count of how many delicacies were presented between the endless courses of food, how many times a blue-liveried servant stepped forward to fill my goblet, how many times I had to shake myself to remind myself that this was really happening.

Lady Johanna did not improve as the night wore on. Lady Helen and I managed, through a series of non-verbal communications, to keep ourselves amused despite Lady Johanna’s negativity.

“I am fatigued from the merriment,” Lady Johanna proclaimed. “I will take my leave.” She rose, and with the briefest of nods, removed herself from our company.

“Please forgive my cousin,” Lady Helen entreated. “She’s not been herself for a while.” She tapped her head, and nodded knowingly.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I replied.

“She takes no pleasure except in the finding of fault, which makes her wearisome company. Bonds of kinship create kindness towards her from me, and from others, but she is, at best, difficult company.”

“I take no offense at her words, Lady Helen,” I assured her. “We all make allowances for those we love.”

We continued in polite chit-chat, and I stole occasional glances at the dais. The young man in blue had disappeared, and the empty chair next to Frigga spoke volumes about the family tensions.

Lady Helen was a pleasant companion, yet I found a creeping weariness overtaking me. The travel, the length of the feast, the glittering gold and silver, the endless parade of food and rivers of wine, were exacting a steep toll on me.

“Lady Helen, I pray you, excuse me. I am overwhelmed by your kindness, but also by the magnificence of the feast, and the lateness of the hour.” I rose.

“Oh, but Lady Sia, we are just past the halfway point! Surely you are not ready to leave yet?” Lady Helen looked at me entreatingly. Clearly, this was the most fun she’d had since who knows when, and she was reluctant for the party to end so early.

“I am sorry, Lady Helen. My day began quite early, and I must say, traveling on the Bifrost took rather more out of me than I expected.” My weariness was not feigned, I felt myself swaying slightly. “So, please, do excuse me. I must retire to my chambers. I thank you for your good company, and hope that the rest of the feast is even more enjoyable for you.”

“I understand, dear Lady Sia. Rest well, and perhaps we shall have the chance to dine together again.” She perked up at the thought. The other ladies smiled politely.

“Such would be my great pleasure, dear Lady Helen. A goodnight to you as well.” I made a little curtsey, and left the hall.

As I entered the passageway, I realized I had no idea how to find my chambers, or to find Sóldís to lead me there. I felt a soft breeze, and decided to follow it. If I couldn’t find my chamber, I could at least find some air to help me cool down and regain my composure.

Which is how I came to be on the balcony when the young courtiers came by.

 


	3. Morning in Asgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sia wakes up in Asgard, and realizes that dreams do come true when Thor takes her to the Royal Library.
> 
> Suggested music: "Prelude to Act I (Dawn over the Moscow River)", by Modest Mussorgsky https://youtu.be/nDCuOsCfnxY

 

I awoke with a start, certain I’d overslept the alarm and wouldn’t be ready for Thor’s arrival to take me to Asgard. I sat upright, looked around, and laughed, as I realized that it had all happened, and I was waking up in bed _in Asgard_. I remembered the trip on the Bifrost, and the kindness of Sóldís in dressing me for the feast, and the amazing feast itself—food such as I had never eaten, the heady wine, the flickering torchlight, the music, the dancing and singing. I remembered withdrawing to the balcony for air, for quiet, and the encounter with the young nobles.

Then I remembered Prince Loki. A chill ran up my spine. _He is the Trickster, the God of Lies, and he is real. Remember this._

I dimly recalled Sóldís drawing a bath, and my falling asleep in the chair before I could make it to the tub. Sóldís helped me to bed, and told me she would be back in the morning to check on me.

I pulled out my phone to check the time, and realized that, even if I turned it on, there was no option for “Asgard” in the Time Zone settings. I put the phone back in its case, and decided to explore my chamber. I’d had no time to do so yesterday. A hot bath and a lovely nap immediately after arrival, then being wakened by Sóldís to be dressed for the feast and whisked away promptly, had left me no time to settle in. Sóldís had unpacked my things, so I hadn’t even had the familiarity of that task to help me adjust to my surroundings.

I arose, and put on the robe Sóldís had left at the foot of the bed. A pair of shearling-lined boots stood next to the bed in lieu of slippers. As my feet snuggled against the soft warmth, I decided that they were the best things ever, and that I had no interest in wearing real shoes ever again.

The bed chamber was warm and simply furnished, with a draped four-poster bed, an armoire, and a table with two chairs close to the fireplace. Perfect for writing all night.

I opened the door to the left. Yes, the bathing chamber, with the lovely, deep tub and a silver-framed mirror large enough for a ballet studio.

I crossed the bedchamber and opened the door to the right, leading to the sitting room. A long desk, a round table with two chairs, a sideboard, a divan, and a small circle of chairs gathered around another fireplace. _This is the suite of my dreams, and here I am._

The door to the hallway opened, and Sóldís entered.

“Oh, Lady Sia! Good morning! I didn’t think you’d be up so soon. I’d have come earlier!” Sóldís was fresh and cheerful, as though she hadn’t been up until all hours taking care of me.

“Good morning, Sóldís. Thank you for your gentle care last night.” _Good god, I’m falling right into the vernacular. Just as well—reduces the chance I’ll say something stupid._

“And please—call me ‘Sia’.”

Sóldís looked at me quizzically. “Now, why would I do that, my lady?”

_Because otherwise I’m going to lose my mind and slip into this realm, and never be able to leave._

“I feel so comfortably with you, dear Sóldís, it feels right.”

“Very well, my lady. Er—Sia.” Sóldís was clearly uncomfortable with this, and it wouldn’t last.

_Oh, well. I tried. There are worse places to lose my mind, I suppose_.

“Do you prefer to break your fast in private, or will you join Prince Thor in the Blue Salon?” Sóldís looked at me quizzically.

_I really just want to hit the library, but I’m starving. And I should be a gracious guest._

“I would be delighted to join the Prince this morning. I am eager to see the library, but it’s not going anywhere.”

“Right, then, let’s get you dressed!” Sóldís seemed pleased to have a project. That project, of course, was me.

Sóldís again placed me onto the dressing chair, facing away from the mirror. She repeated her magic of the prior evening, this time with a gown suitable for day wear. My outfit for the day was an underdress of grey finespun linen, and an overdress of midnight blue in the same linen, with the silver girdle from last night draped around my waist and over my hips.

“Now, I’ll just braid your hair, and we’ll be ready to go,” cooed Sóldís. “We should only be another hour or so.”

“Sóldís, let’s keep it simple today, since I’m just going to be working in the library. Just a crown braid, and leave the rest loose.” I was starting to feel really hungry, and found myself wondering if the miracle drug known as coffee was available in Asgard.

Sóldís was clearly displeased at being deprived of another opportunity to show me her hairdressing talents.

“Well, if that’s all you really want, Lady Sia. Of course.” Sóldís took up the carved horn comb and parted my hair. “But this evening, we must do something more. You are to dine with the Allfather and the Queen tonight.”

“Is there another feast tonight, Sóldís?” My heart beat faster.

“Oh, no, Lady Sia. This is just a regular day. And the Allfather wishes to meet the visiting scholar.”

I tried to breathe. “I am . . . flattered at his attention.”

“Oh, don’t be afraid of him!” Sóldís almost giggled. “He’s all impressive and god-like, but just like anyone else, he enjoys a good conversation.”

_A good conversation. Right._ I _am supposed to entertain_ Odin. _Who knows_ everything. _Sure, no problem, I can do that._

“Prince Thor will be there to keep you company as well. You will do fine,” Sóldís said in attempt at reassurance.

“Does the other Prince dine with his family as well tonight?” I tried to sound casual, as though simply making a polite inquiry. I was uncertain I had succeeded.

“Prince Loki,” said Sóldís, with a tone that told me her unvarnished opinion of him, “does as he pleases. The only person he really listens to his his mother. If she requests, he joins them. But never you mind about him. Tonight you are the guest of Odin and Frigga.”

I tried to absorb this idea as Sóldís wove my hair.

“And there we are!” Sóldís held a mirror to the back of my head, so I could see the reflection of the braids in the mirror in front of me.

“Sóldís, that is perfect! Thank you!” I jumped up from the dressing chair.

“And now, please take me to the Blue Salon. I am more than ready to break my fast.”

* * *

As Sóldís led me to the Blue Hall, I worked to memorize the layout of the palace. Built up over centuries, it had passageways off its passageways, and chambers in all directions. _Someone should make a map app of this place_.

A sharp right, a veer to the left, and we entered the Blue Hall. It was, indeed, painted various shades of blue, with white accents. A grand oak table filled the room, with intricately carved chairs set around it. A sideboard to the left of the table was filled with plates and bowls holding more food than a family of four would eat in a week.

The two Princes were seated at the table. Both rose when we entered the room.

“A good morning to you, dear Sia!” Thor brimmed with energy. I knew he’d been up later than I, and he had obviously been up earlier as well. I was impressed. Clearly, he was a morning person. Or morning god.

“Good morning, dear guest,” said Loki, with utmost politeness.

“Do you wish me to attend you, Lady Sia? Or would you prefer to dine privately?” Sóldís asked anxiously.

I glanced at the two Princes. “Sóldís, I am well accompanied here. Please take your ease.”

“Very well, my lady. Simply ring when you are finished here.” Sóldís bowed, and left the room.

“Sóldís is a dear, is she not?” asked Thor. “I hope she is taking good care of you.”

“Yes, thank you, Thor,” I replied. “She is the best lady’s maid I’ve known.”

“And how many lady’s maids have you known?” inquired Loki. “I wasn’t aware that they were usual for Midgardian women to have.”

“Your Highness, as part of my research, I have portrayed various historical characters—noble women—which required other ladies to enact the role of my attendants to dress and serve me. Some of them were quite talented actresses, but not particularly practical. Some were very practical, but not particularly talented performers. A few managed to possess and use both sets of skills.”

_Take that, Prince. I may be a Midgardian, but I know my noble duties._

“Ah, how quaint. Playing dress up and pretending to be a queen.” Loki’s tone was neutral, but his expression was mocking.

“Not quaint at all, Your Highness,” I replied coolly. “Such re-creation requires a great deal of research to refine the material, and work to create the wardrobe and settings of the time. Not everyone is capable of such work.”

Loki leaned back in his chair and stared at me. _One point for Midgard_ , I thought. _He’s offended._

This time I wasn’t worried, however. Thor laughed, and exclaimed, “Brother, she has a point! The mortals do all of this work by hand, where we do it by magic!”

I joined Thor’s laughter, and reached for the goblet at my place, wondering what was in it.

“Mead!” exclaimed Thor. “It’s what’s for breakfast!”

Thor and I laughed again, sharing a Midgardian joke. Loki stared at us, and reached for a silver pitcher.

“Lady Sia, try this.” He pushed the pitcher towards me, along with a cup.

Staring at him, I carefully took the pitcher and tipped it towards the cup. Out flowed the Elixir of Life, also known as coffee.

Thor stared at Loki. “Where did you get that?” he demanded.

“Jane told Mother about it, mentioned that Sia favors it in the morning. So Jane arranged to send some for Sia to enjoy during her stay.” Loki sat back, a smile of small triumph playing about his lips.

I held the cup in my hands, closed my eyes, breathed in the lovely, familiar aroma.

“My thanks to Jane, and to the Queen.” I nodded, and drank. Heaven.

“Loki, you know we have it here. I brought it back after my first trip to Midgard.” Thor was trying to remain calm.

“Ah, yes,” replied Loki, “but Sia favors a particular blend, and Jane wanted to be sure she had exactly what she is accustomed to. Being in Asgard can be so disorienting to a mortal.” Loki flashed a smile of insincere concern. “I do hope you are recovered from last night’s . . . weakness.”

“Yes, I am completely well. A good night’s sleep has made all the difference. I appreciate your concern, Your Highness.”

I sipped my coffee, and enjoyed the view out the window. _This palace doesn’t have a bad side to it._

“The royal palace is perfectly situated to see the best of Asgard,” commented Loki, smirking.

_Prince Loki, stay out of my head_.

_Then don’t let me into your head_. Still smirking, Loki looked at me with that blandly polite and infuriatingly smug expression that was already too familiar.

“Thor, who should I speak to about going to the library? This is lovely, but I can’t spend all day drinking coffee and looking out the window, as wonderful as it is.”

“Whenever you are ready, Sia, simply let me know, and I’ll take you there.” Thor’s smile filled the room.

“I am ready, Thor!” I jumped up from my chair. “I need my notebooks and pens.”

“Sóldís will meet us with them at the library. Shall we?” Thor rose.

“Good day to you, Loki. I am taking Sia to the library, and then we are to meet with Father.”

Loki’s smile faded. “Yes, I know.”

“Also, Mother has asked that you join us for supper tonight. She wishes to meet Sia informally, since the feast last night was not conducive to personal conversation.”

Loki’s smile returned. “Well, then. I shall be delighted to join for an intimate family supper, and to have _personal_ conversation with Lady Sia.” Loki’s bland expression contradicted the twist in his words.

If looks could kill, Thor’s expression would have dropped Loki on the spot.

“Then let Mother know. I’ll see you in Father’s study in an hour.”

Thor turned to me. “This way to the library, Sia. I know you have been waiting for this.” 

* * *

I was certain I had died and gone to heaven. Except that Thor was standing next to me, and introducing me to a woman with long blonde braids tucked neatly into a dark blue braid case.

“Lady Sia, please meet Dagmar, the Royal Librarian of Asgard.”

She made a small bow. “Lady Sia, it is a pleasure to meet you. Prince Thor has told me of the work you have done, and the work you have come here to do.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Dagmar.” I was trying to focus on the conversation, while being completely overwhelmed by the library.

This was the library of my dreams. Seemingly endless rows of bookcases, filled with gorgeously bound books. Windows along one wall for light, but far enough from the shelves so as not to damage the books. Large worktables with elaborately carved chairs around them. A thick carpet underfoot to absorb sound. A welcoming fire in the hearth.

I was in a cathedral of books. A temple of books. A Valhalla of books.

“Sia, Dagmar is a treasure. She knows the name of every book in this room, and knows the content of each. Whatever you need, she will help you find.” Thor’s smile of encouragement helped reduce the feeling of overwhelm.

_I don’t know what I don’t know. I don’t know how to ask for what I don’t know._

I put on my most confident face. “Thank you, Thor! And thank you, Dagmar. I look forward to exploring these beautiful works under your guidance.”

Dagmar laughed. “Lady Sia, I will do my best! First, we’ll do a walk around, so you have a general idea where thing are. Then you can tell me what you are looking for.”

Thor smiled. “Thank you for your assistance, Dagmar. And now, I must go tend to my duties.”

“Thank you, Thor!” Overwhelm was displaced by excitement. All the literary and historical resources of Asgard, here at my fingertips!

Thor gave me a hug, and took his leave.

Dagmar led me around the library, explaining to me the order in which things were shelved. I made mental notes in order to write them down later.

“Prince Thor tells me you are a teacher.” Dagmar seemed genuinely curious.

“Yes, I am a college professor. I teach adults. Advanced education.”

“Ah, yes. The university system. I have read about it. For those who wish to pursue a subject in great depth.”

“Exactly. I do teach the occasional introductory course, but mostly work with upper level and graduate students, who have chosen to specialize in their subject.”

“Do you like teaching?”

“I do, very much. It’s exciting to share knowledge, and rewarding to help people discover their own passions and interests.”

Dagmar smiled. “You sound like a librarian, Lady Sia!”

“I suppose we are really not that different in our professions, Dagmar. At least in the results! Simply a matter of how we help people reach them.”

Dagmar smiled again. “We are going to get along quite well, Lady Sia.”

She turned and looked over the room. “Where would you like to start?”


	4. Dining with the Royal Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exciting day leads to an exciting evening, dining with the Royal Family. Despite everyone's best efforts at civility, Loki manages to stir things up. Sia holds her own, however, and even Odin finds something nice to say.
> 
>  Suggested music: "Autumn" from the Four Seasons Suite by Antonio Vivaldi. https://youtu.be/Q8AN0jWNrJA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we are in a royal court, and people do a lot of bowing. It's a court thing.
> 
> I've used the term "reverence" (pronounced "rev-er-aunce", like "renaissance") to indicate the formal court bow, based on renaissance court manners. You can see an example here https://youtu.be/8lDCxv3Hv2g?t=2m and here https://youtu.be/i279gu1snVs?t=17m15s
> 
> Or, you know, watch pretty much any BBC historical production, and you can see a reverence every three minutes or so!

Sóldís appeared in the door of the library at exactly six o’clock.

“Lady Sia, you need to prepare for the royal supper.”

I looked up, surprised at how quickly the day had gone.

“Ah, yes. Thank you, Sóldís. I appreciate your keeping an eye on the time.”

Sóldís bustled me back to my chambers.

“I’ll lay out your clothes and hair things, Lady Sia, if you’d like to freshen up just a bit.” The tone of her voice made it clear that, in her opinion, I needed to freshen up.

“An excellent idea, Sóldís. Thank you.”

“I’ll start a bath, and help you out of that gown.”

A few minutes later, clad only in my shift, I retreated to the bathing room and closed the door.

I slid into the bath, and decided Sóldís was a genius. I closed my eyes, and let myself sink into the water.

The dark, the quiet, the softly scented water, just the perfect temperature. So soothing to my aching muscles after sitting still at the library table all day. I should remember to take breaks tomorrow.

But for now, this tub was heaven.

* * *

“Lady Sia! Time to dress!” Sóldís called through the door.

I roused myself out of the deep slumber that had overtaken me.

“Ah, yes, Sóldís! Give me just a minute!”

I reluctantly left the bliss of the tub, toweled off, and reached for my shift.

Sóldís had placed a clean one on the bench for me.

_I like this place. A lot._

* * *

I quickly made up my face. Nothing too extreme, but a bit heavier on the eyeliner— _it is evening, after all._

Sóldís picked up the brush and comb, and began arranging my hair.

“Sóldís, for tonight—“ I had an idea of what I wanted done with my hair.

“For tonight, you are dining with the royal family, and you need something quite formal.” Sóldís clearly had an idea of her own, and her tone let me know that this was not open for discussion.

Sóldís worked quietly, and I contemplated the tapestry on the wall. I wished I had thought to bring a book, then realized I had the perfect opportunity for a briefing to prepare for tonight’s event.

“Sóldís, what do I need to know for tonight?”

“What do you mean, Lady Sia?”

“I want to be a gracious guest. Aside from minding my table manners, how do I do that?”

“Simply be your gracious self, my lady.”

I suppressed a sigh.

“What should I talk about, Sóldís? On Midgard, in polite company, one does not discuss politics or religion, and I assume the same holds true here. But what topics are acceptable for discourse?” Knowing my penchant for sharpness and my incredible ability to speak before thinking, I was deeply concerned about offending my hosts.

“Let the King and Queen choose the topics, Lady Sia. That is always safest.” Sóldís’ advice was sound, and nothing I hadn’t learned from history, but I still felt unprepared.

“What interests them? What do they like to discuss?”

“Everything, my lady. Just let them lead the conversation.”

“Very well, Sóldís.” I felt just as unprepared as I had before I sought her advice, but oh well. I’d thrown a goblet at Prince Loki, and I was still here. How badly could things go tonight?

I held still as Sóldís bedecked me with the jewels.

“Alright, Lady Sia, you’re ready now.”

I stood up and turned to look in the mirror.

“Oh, no, you don’t! No looking in the mirror just yet!”

Sóldís twirled me away before I could catch a glimpse, and propelled me to my sitting room.

“But I want to see!” I felt like a small child being denied a treat.

“You will see soon enough, Lady Sia.”

“Very well, Sóldís.”

I picked up a book and stood by the fire to wait for Thor’s arrival.

* * *

Just before eight o’clock, came the expected knock on my door. Sóldís opened it, and curtsied as Thor entered.

I turned to greet him, and he stopped where he stood.

“Sia! You are lovely!” He stared. “I mean—not that you aren’t always lovely. But tonight, you look like an Asgardian!”

“Thank you, Thor. I owe it all to Sóldís and her careful attentions.”

“My lady, my humble skills are nothing compared to your beauty.” Sóldís curtsied.

“Sóldís, you are truly gifted!” Thor beamed a smile at the suddenly-shy gentlewoman.

“Thank you, Prince Thor.” Sóldís curtsied again. “I wish to always do my best for your family.”

“Sia, we should go. Mother is quite looking forward to meeting you in person.” Thor’s warm smile helped me relax.

“Yes, thank you, Prince Thor.” I felt the need to shift into formal mode now to avoid falling out of it at an inopportune moment later.

Thor took my hand, and we joined arms. My left hand resting lightly on his arm, we floated out of the room, Sóldís watching us go.

“I can’t imagine why the All Father doesn’t like mortals,” Sóldís wondered softly. “This one would be a lovely addition to Frigga’s retinue.”

* * *

“Are you nervous, Lady Sia? You have no need to be.” Thor smiled at me again. “Father and Mother will love you. How could they not? Just look at you!” Thor beamed.

“I wish I could, Prince Thor! Sóldís refused to let me look in the mirror. She said I would see myself soon enough. And your encouragement is sufficient for now.” I tried to sound confident.

“Lady Sia, you will see, very soon!” Thor laughed. “Here, just to the right, through this hall, and then we’ll join them in the West Salon. That’s where we dine privately in the evenings.”

In spite of my nerves, I was thrilled. I was in a real palace, with designated rooms for _everything._ And I was going to spend the evening with Odin, Frigga, and Thor.

_The things they never tell you in graduate school!_

We turned the corner, and suddenly there were Sias and Thors everywhere. We had entered a mirror-paneled hall.

I laughed, and Thor joined in.

“There you go, Lady Sia! Sóldís was correct!”

“Yes, Thor! She was!”

I looked at my nearest reflection, and stopped.

Silently, I contemplated my image.

The dark blue silk gown was different from the one I’d worn the night before. This one was trimmed in black and silver braid, heavy and wide, and accented with sapphire and jet. The new underdress was a darker silver, also trimmed in blue braid, with silver beading.

My necklace and earrings were silver and amber, mixed with sodalite, and much fancier metal work than the jewelry I’d worn the prior evening.

The comb holding my hair would have suited perfectly as a small tiara on Midgard.

“Thor. This. Is. Amazing.” I tried to reconcile the image I saw in the mirror with my own identity.

“I am glad you are pleased, Sia! You wear it well. No one would ever think you were a woman from Midgard. You look like a goddess.” Thor looked at me with pride and some astonishment.

“Thank you, Thor. I wish nothing more than to do you honor tonight, as you have done me great honor.” I reverenced.

“Sia, you will be wonderful. My parents will love you, and we will all have a delightful time.” Thor gave me the most reassuring smile.

I exhaled. No mention of Prince Loki. _Good, this will be less complicated._

“Shall we?”

“We shall!” I could not bear to wait a moment longer.

We walked the length of the mirrored hall, countless Thors and Sias keeping us company, walking towards and away and along with us.

* * *

“The King and Queen are not yet within. They request you be seated and wait for them.” The chamberlain and guards bowed to us, and opened the door to the West Salon.

We entered a room that was even more magnificent than I expected, truly fit for the private banquets of gods.

I noticed the table was set for five. _So, Prince Loki is meant to join us._ I breathed, and surrounded myself with white light. He was not going to read my mind tonight.

“Sia, please sit here, at Father’s right hand.” Thor was being polite, but I giggled inwardly at how biblical that sounded. Seated at the All Father’s right hand! Probably not what the Christian Psalmists had in mind thousands of years ago as they wrote their devotionals in the desert.

Thor pulled back the chair, and I sat as he moved it forward without effort.

The door opened again, and Loki entered. He stopped, surprised to see us already in attendance.

“Brother! And Lady Sia! What a pleasant surprise!” Loki’s smile informed me that it was no surprise, and that he was here merely to perform his princely duties.

I made to rise, so I could reverence, as one does when a prince enters the room. Thor did not move the chair back.

“Brother, you knew very well we would be here.” Thor’s hand rested firmly on the back of my chair. “Relax, Sia. There is no need to stand on ceremony just yet.” Thor’s anger was too-easily heard in his voice.

“Well, Thor, since you seem to be playing major domo, where shall I sit?” Loki’s smugness was unbearable.

“Your usual place, brother.” Thor was not amused, and was attempting to manage his irritation, unsuccessfully.

“Ah, so Mother can keep an eye on me. Very well.”

Loki slid into his chair, and reached for a carafe of wine.

“Loki, don’t you think we should wait?” Thor’s irritation was palpable.

“Wait? For what?” Loki’s all-too-familiar bland smile and flat eyes matched his neutral tone.

“For Mother and Father to join us.”

“We could be waiting a while, brother. I see no harm in serving wine while we wait.”

Loki filled his goblet, and offered the bottle to Thor. “Brother?”

“I will wait, Loki.”

“Very well, then.” Loki sat back in his chair, raised the goblet to this lips, and drank with great satisfaction.

“Oh, but I am being rude! Forgive me, dear Lady Sia. Would you care for some wine?” Again, that bland smile.

Just then, the door opened, and the chamberlain entered.

“The King and Queen are arriving.”

Thor helped me with my chair, and we all stood away from the table.

Odin and Frigga entered, even more dazzling than the night before at the harvest feast. Here, close up, larger than life, there was no doubt of their divinity.

Thor took my arm, and led me forward. _Breathe, Sia. Breathe. This is real._

“Odin Allfather, I would like you to meet my friend, Lady Sia.” I made the deepest curtsey I have ever made in my life. Odin nodded, Frigga smiled.

“Mother, Queen Frigga, I present my friend, Lady Sia.” I curtsied again. _I’m doing this. I’ve bowed twice, and am still on my feet._

“Lady Sia, please meet my parents, Odin Borson, King of Asgard, and Frigga Jordsdottir, Queen of Asgard.” I curtsied again.

“My son has told me a great deal about you, Lady Sia.” Odin’s voice filled the small room. “All of it good. I hope to hear for myself about your work here tonight.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty. I am happy to speak of it as much as you wish to hear.”

“I, too, look forward to hearing about your writings, Lady Sia.” Frigga’s smile was brighter than all the lights in the room.

“Thank you, Your Majesty. I shall do my best to be informative.”

“Come, my dear.” Odin led Frigga to the table. Out of nowhere, a host of attendants had appeared, and helped us all with our chairs.

Servants circled the table, serving countless dishes and filling our goblets before withdrawing to the edge of the room.

“I hope you are finding your accommodations to your satisfaction, Lady Sia. If there is anything lacking, you need but say the word.” Frigga’s smile charged me with confidence.

“Thank you, Your Majesty. The suite is perfect, and perfectly comfortable. Sóldís seems to know what I need before I even say the word. I appreciate your generous hospitality and kindness.”

“And the library? You are finding what you need?” Odin cut in. _Well, he is the King. He can do that._

“Your Majesty, it is beyond description! It is such a privilege to be in such a magnificent space! Every book I open has something useful for my work. I am deeply grateful for this opportunity.”

“Well, good. Nice to know all this fuss is worthwhile.” Odin drank.

I was unsure how to respond. Thor had said that arranging my visit was “a mere trifle”, but Loki had told me that he and Frigga had to cajole Odin into agreement.

“I have no doubt Lady Sia will make the most of this opportunity.” Loki raised his glass. “To our guest, the exceptional scholar.”

Frigga and Thor raised their glasses. Odin tipped his goblet.

“Thank you, Prince Loki. I am flattered by your kind words.” _Stay cool, Sia. Do not let him provoke you._ I increased the white light around me.

“It must be wonderful, to take such joy in your work,” Loki continued.

“I do enjoy my work, Prince Loki. It is not without its challenges, but even those can be made into something positive.” Gratitude once again for years of theatrical voice training allowing me to speak evenly and calmly in spite of my tension.

“Oh, but for someone as bright as you, there can’t be many real challenges now, can there?” Loki was fishing. I refused the bait.

“There are challenges in any profession, Your Highness, regardless of one’s intelligence, or creativity, or dedication.” _Keep it generic, not personal._

“What is your most significant challenge, Lady Sia?” Frigga stepped into the conversation, and gave Loki a long-practiced “be quiet now” look.

_Sexist jerks who don’t take my work seriously. That’s the real challenge._

“Finding reliable sources that aren’t simply information copied from another source. Finding original material, and having that material be factually valid and useful. There’s a great deal of speculation, and fiction passed off as history, and so many inauthentic sources that can distort the research.” _Keep it generic, not personal._

“Memory is so tricky, even for those who actually experienced an event,” Frigga noted. “Having to rely on the oft-repeated tales which may not be accurate to start with is definitely a challenge.”

“That’s what makes being here so marvelous—first-hand experiences, captured at the time of the event, perfectly preserved in well-kept books. The ideal research situation.”

“Your colleagues must be envious of your good fortune in being here, then, Lady Sia.” Loki smiled over his wine.

“My colleagues are not aware of exactly where I am, Your Highness. They know only that I am taking a short sabbatical for research purposes. Not even the Dean of Faculty knows I am here. And it’s his job to know everything.” I returned the smile.

“I can imagine it’s tedious to work for someone who’s not as clever as you are.” Loki smiled again.

_Breathe, Sia. Keep calm. He’s trying to rile you. Do not give him the satisfaction._

“The Dean is well-respected for his work, Your Highness.” _Well, he’s an idiot, but he’s created an administrative niche to shield him from his academic inadequacies. He hasn’t written anything in over 20 years, and probably couldn’t find his way around a library without an escort_.

“So he treats your work with equal professional respect, then?” Loki’s smile had not moved. I could feel him edging around the white light, trying to read my thoughts. I increased the intensity.

“He treats it no differently than he treats the work of any of the other professors.” Which was true. He has little respect for the male professors’ work, and none at all for anything done by the women on staff.

“That’s reassuring to hear. Dr. Foster has told us that, in her field, women are often treated poorly and their work is not taken with the same seriousness as work done by male scientists.” Frigga had raised the topic I had been trying to avoid. Both topics, actually—Jane, and sexism.

Odin stiffened, and reached for his glass. Thor looked at Frigga. Loki sat back in his chair, a pleased grin painted across his face.

I took a deep breath and set my goblet on the table. “Sexism is, sadly, a problem in most academic fields. I have encountered it as well. I had to request a transfer from my first thesis advisor, who referred to his female colleagues as ‘skirts with opinions’. But I find it’s best not to dwell on it. Cultural attitudes change over time. Good work speaks for itself, regardless of the writer’s gender.” I desperately hoped this would put an end to the discussion.

“Quite right, Lady Sia! The only thing that matters is the quality of the work. It doesn’t matter who does it, as long as the work is good.” Odin’s pronouncement stunned us all.

“So, even a mortal woman’s work can be worthwhile, then, Father?” Loki smiled brightly at Odin. “Jane would be so pleased to hear you speak well of Midgardian female accomplishment.”

I held my breath. Thor stared daggers at Loki.

Frigga straightened in her chair. “Loki, enough. If you cannot be civil, you are excused.”

“Mother, I meant no harm. Surely it follows that, if Father approves of Sia’s endeavors, he would approve of equal accomplishments by other women of Midgard, such as Jane’s scientific work.”

Odin turned to Loki. “Enough.”

I reached for a goblet of water. This sudden turn to silence and awkwardness was not what I had hoped for.

Frigga turned to me. “Lady Sia, enough talk of work. While you are here, you must also have a chance to enjoy other parts of Asgard as well. Thor tells me you are an accomplished horsewoman.”

“I do ride, Your Majesty! I learned to ride as a child, and it gives me great delight.” I relaxed, appreciating Frigga’s ability to slice through the awkward silence.

“Thor, you should take Lady Sia riding on Saturday. You could ride to Amber Cottage for the afternoon. It will be a lovely way for her to see more of Asgard than the inside of our palace.” Frigga seemed quite pleased with her idea.

“That is an excellent notion, Mother!” Thor lit up. “Lady Sia, would you care to go riding? I can make all the necessary arrangements!”

“I would be delighted, Prince Thor!” I laughed. “It has been a while since I have been on a horse, I must warn you!”

“You will be fine, Lady Sia! You rode beautifully yesterday.”

“Very well, then, you two. Thor, you must make sure your guest has some fun while she is here!” Frigga laughed.

“Thank you, Your Majesty. You are very kind.” I relaxed into the conversation, and reached for my wine goblet.

The rest of the meal continued with more wine and more laughter. Frigga and Thor took turns telling tales. Odin offered an occasional comment or correction. Loki remained in silence the entire time, not eating, barely drinking, and refusing to look at anyone.

Suddenly, the clock struck twelve. Odin’s ravens flew into the salon. Frigga looked at Odin. Odin shook his head.

“I must take my leave now,” said Odin, rising to his feet. The rest of us rose as well, Loki with slowness and reluctance.

“I shall retire as well,” Frigga responded. “Thank you, Lady Sia, for your wonderful company tonight. It has been a pleasure to pass the evening together.”

“Thank you, both, Your Majesties.” I reverenced. “This evening has been delightful, and the company cheerful.”

“Goodnight, Father. Goodnight, Mother. I will escort Lady Sia back to her chamber,” answered Thor.

“Thank you, Thor. Goodnight.” Frigga smiled at her son.

“Goodnight, all.” Loki bowed, and left the room.

Odin and Frigga exited through a door to an adjoining room.

Thor extended his arm, and I wrapped mine around it.

* * *

We walked back through the hall of mirrors. With the dimmed torches, we were accompanied by a sea of shadowy Thors and Sias.

“Did you have a good time, Sia?” Thor asked anxiously.

“I did, Thor! Thank you! It was simply amazing!” I was trying to let it sink in— _I had dinner with Odin and Frigga._

“I am sorry about Loki’s inappropriate comments. My brother, for all his age, is sometimes quite the petulant child. He takes delight in riling Father. Father is usually able to ignore it, but the subject of Jane is still a difficult one for him.” Thor sighed.

“Thor, you have no need to apologize. You can no more control Loki’s behavior than you can control the direction of the wind. He’s an adult, and is responsible for his own actions.”

Thor sighed again. “Too true, Sia.”

“I am sorry that your father is so touchy about Jane. She’s such a wonderful person, and a brilliant scientist. I wish he were able to see that objectively.” It was my turn to sigh.

“Father does not object to Jane being a scientist, or being brilliant. He objects to my interest in her. He feels we have no business involving ourselves with mortals. And, of course, there’s the whole subject of succession—“ Thor stopped himself.

“I am sorry, Sia. It’s late, and I should not burden you with this.” However much Thor wanted to talk, he clearly felt he could not speak with me about the subject.

“Thor, though I have not known you very long, I am happy to be your friend, and to listen to anything you may wish to talk about.” I looked him in the eyes. “I may not know everything, but I am a mortal woman, so I know a thing or two that might be helpful for you.”

We had arrived at the door of my chambers.

“Thank you, Sia. You are kind to offer. I may yet have need of such kindness.” He bowed. “Thank you for your company tonight, Sia. Rest well. Goodnight.”

I opened the door, and Thor strode off down the corridor.

To my surprise, Sóldís was waiting for me with mulled wine. In short order, I was relaxing in front of the fire in my robe, enjoying the wine. Sóldís took her leave, and I took my time with the wine and the fire.

 


	5. Thursday, and It Becomes Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course, no project is without its complications. Thursday morning brings a rather difficult development, and Thursday evening passes in the company of Frigga and her ladies.
> 
> Suggested music: "Acapella Stella" by Maddy Prior: https://youtu.be/DBsSgeO8muE

The next morning was much as before, except that I broke my fast alone with Thor. We did not discuss the events of the prior evening, and no mention was made of Loki.

Thor took his leave to tend to his duties, and I retired to the library, accompanied by Sóldís.

As we walked, Sóldís planned my day, which had barely begun.

“My lady, what time do you wish luncheon?”

“Am I expected anywhere, Sóldís?” I was anxious about losing time at the library to social obligations during the day.

“No, Lady Sia, your time is your own until supper,” Sóldís assured me.

“Then I would like a light repast at one, and a tea tray at four, please.” Stating my preferences as instructions rather than requests was easy to fall back into. Once again, I gave thanks for all my years of historical theatre work.

“Absolutely, my lady! I shall see to it. Do you require anything else?”

“Please bring extra tea, as Dagmar will be joining me this afternoon to find more books.”

Sóldís stiffened a bit. “I am sorry to say that Dagmar will not be present today. She is unwell, and has been ordered to rest.”

I tried not to panic. I needed Dagmar’s help to navigate this ocean of books. There was no way I could find what I needed with the speed necessitated by the briefness of my visit. And of course I was worried about Dagmar—this was so sudden. She had seemed perfectly well yesterday,

“Poor Dagmar. I am so sorry to hear this.”

“The healers are uncertain as to the the nature of her illness, and so the only remedy is an extended rest.”

_Extended rest. That means I am likely on my own for the rest of the time._

“I wish her much rest, then, and a timely recovery.”

“I will convey your good wishes to her, Lady Sia.” Sóldís curtsied, and left me at the door of the library.

Entering the library was even more thrilling than it had been the first morning. Now that I’d spent a day here, and had a glimpse of the treasures it held, I was even more aware of what a special privilege I’d been given. Even with the anxiety of suddenly being without Dagmar’s guidance, I knew that my time here would make all the difference for my book.

I silently thanked Jane and Thor, Frigga and Odin, and walked to the table where I’d left the books from yesterday. I opened my notebook, uncapped my pen, and set to work.

* * *

At exactly one o’clock, Sóldís and a yet another young man in blue livery appeared with a tray filled with a variety of comestibles. Sóldís directed the page to place the tray on one of the unoccupied tables so as not to interfere with my work.

“Shall we serve you, my lady? Perhaps you would like a respite from your studies?” Sóldís was quite concerned that I was going to work myself too hard.

“I am well, Sóldís. I promise I will take time to enjoy the meal you have brought.” I smiled at her, attempting to ease her concern. “I am in the middle of reading an exceptionally interesting tale, and I do wish to finish it first.”

“As you wish, my lady. Is there anything else you require?”

“This is more than ample, Sóldís, and I am certain I shall be pleased with what you have provided.” _Make sure the servants know you notice the trouble the have taken to make things nice for you._

“Very well, then, my lady, we shall leave you to your work.” Sóldís curtsied, the boy made an unpracticed bow, and they left the room.

I returned to the book in front of me, and the story within its covers.

* * *

I realized the clock was chiming 3:45. And that I hadn’t actually taken a break for lunch. And that Sóldís would be returning at 4:00 with tea.

I stood up, stretched, and walked to the table where the tray had been carefully set. An amazing array of foods of all kinds had been arranged with great care. I suddenly realized how long ago breakfast had been, and began picking my way through the delectable items in front of me. I ate quickly, both from hunger and from the desire to finish and return to my work before Sóldís appeared.

Thor was right. I would need to do a lot of riding while I was here to offset all this incredible food.

Having made a reasonable dent in my lunch, I slid back into my chair at the other table just as Sóldís and the page from earlier entered with the tea tray.

“Lady Sia, we’ve brought you tea!” announced Sóldís, as though she were bringing me a rare manuscript.

“So kind of you, Sóldís! And may I say, the luncheon was exactly what I had wished for.” _Make sure the servants know you appreciate their efforts._

“Oh, I am so pleased, dear lady! I hope this will do as well.” Sóldís gave the tea tray an uncertain look as the boy set it on the other table, and lifted the luncheon tray to remove it.

“I have every reason to believe it will, Sóldís. Thank you.” I wanted to get back to work without being rude.

Sóldís picked up on my mood. “Very well, then, Lady Sia, I hope you enjoy it.” She paused.

“Tonight, the Queen wishes you to dine with her and her ladies.” Sóldís seemed uncertain as to how to say this without fear of upsetting me.

“I would be honored, of course, Sóldís. What time should I be ready?” _Oh. Perhaps without Odin and the Princes there, it will be less complicated_.

“She prefers to dine late, at 9:00, so I will be here no later than 7:00 to help you dress.” Sóldís relaxed.

“Very well, Sóldís. Thank you again.”

She and the boy bowed, and I was once again left in peace with my books.

* * *

Having filled an entire notebook in one afternoon, I decided to reward myself with tea and a sweet on the balcony.

“Ah, Lady Sia, such a pleasant sight.” Prince Loki was seated on the balcony, a stack of books on the small table to his left.

“Your Highness.” I made a slight reverence, balancing the tea cup on its saucer in one hand. “I did not realize you were here. I shall not disturb you.” I turned to take my leave.

_Stay_ , I heard in my head.

_I’m not a dog to command. And stay out of my head_.

“Lady Sia, please do join me. Unless my company is unpleasant for you?” Again with the bland smile and the narrowed eyes.

“I was merely coming out for a moment of air before I return to my work.”

“Such devotion to your work. You are fortunate to have work so meaningful. And your work is fortunate to have your devotion.” A genuine smile crossed his lips.

“My work has been the one constant in my life. More than places, or people. My work is always there. And always here.” I touched my forehead.

“Surely Jane is a constant in your life? Your family? Your husband?” Loki seemed truly curious, in a friendly way.

_He’s the God of Mischief. Answer carefully!_

“Jane is a dear friend with whom I have shared much. But we both have moved, and traveled, much over the years. She, too, is devoted to her work. ”

“And to my brother.” Loki replied flatly.

“Yes,” I replied, matching his tone. I had no wish to pursue that topic.

“But your family? Your husband and children?”

“My parents died when I was quite young. My brothers are distant, geographically and emotionally.” I paused.

_Might as well get this over with. I can only imagine the ensuing mockery._

“I am no longer married, and have not brought any children into the world.”

“My apologies, Lady Sia. I did not mean to pry.” He inclined his head slightly.

“I would not have answered if I had not wished to.” I stood up straight. “I have no issue with my familial deficiencies. It’s really just as well—I never have to feel guilty about neglecting anyone to pursue my research.”

“That must be convenient.”

“It is certainly less complicated.”

“Yes, family can be quite . . . complicated.” He sighed.

“Yes.” I finished my tea.

“I should return to my work. You must excuse me now, Your Highness.” I reverenced.

“And if I do not excuse you?” he asked, with a mock challenge.

“Then you must think me rude, as I shall leave you now.”

I turned and left the balcony, wishing for eyes in the back of my head so I could see his expression. I did not know whether he was angry or amused. And I was uncertain which reaction I would hope to have seen.

* * *

Sóldís returned to the library just before seven, and whisked me off to my chambers to dress me for dinner with the Queen. The silks from the previous evening had been cleaned and pressed, and Sóldís occupied herself with creating some complicated arrangement of braids and curls before fixing the comb in my hair.

“As lovely as any Princess!” exclaimed Sóldís, pleased with the results of her efforts.

I turned and looked in the mirror. _My god. Even more amazing than before_.

“Sóldís, you have great skill, and I am appreciative that you bestow it upon me.”

“It is only my duty, Lady Sia! But I am glad you are pleased.” Sóldís was relaxing more around me, and it was becoming easier for her to accept my compliments.

Thor’s voice called from the outer chamber. “Sia, I’ve come to take you to Mother.”

I took a deep breath, and one last look in the mirror.

“You will be fine, my lady. The Queen is a gracious hostess.” Sóldís gave me a reassuring smile.

“Thank you, Sóldís!”

I went to the outer room where Thor was waiting.

“Sia, you are even prettier than you were last night!” Thor’s smile warmed me through.

“You are kind to say so, Thor. I owe it all to Sóldís’ excellent skills.”

“Sóldís, you are a treasure!” Thor smiled at her. Blushing, Sóldís made a small curtsey.

“We should get going, Sia.” Thor held open the door, and we walked away, arm in arm.

* * *

“Thor, I must admit, I’m a bit nervous. What should I talk about?” Last night’s meal was still fresh in my mind. I hoped I would be seated with pleasant companions.

“I believe Mother wishes to speak with you about your work. She’s quite curious.”

“I just hope I can talk about it in a way that is interesting to everyone.” Probably best to pitch it in the tone of an undergraduate course.

“If Mother is interested, the rest of the ladies will be interested.” Thor laughed. “Or at least be smart enough to pretend to be.”

I laughed. Some things are consistent in royal courts, regardless of place or time.

Thor stopped in front of the door to the salon.

“Sia, you are smart. You are charming. Even Loki says you’re charming! You’ll be fine.” Thor gave me a hug, and nodded to the chamberlain to open the door.

“Thank you, Thor! I will see you later this evening?”

“Yes, Sia, I’ll come for you once the evening is done.”

“Thank you, Thor!”

“Have a good time, Sia!”

I turned, took a deep breath, and stood up straight. That Loki finds me charming would have to be considered once tonight’s festivities were concluded.

I smiled at the guards, who opened the door.

* * *

“Lady Sia, how wonderful you are to join us!” exclaimed the redhead who met me at the door. “I’m Lady Margit, and you are to be my companion this evening.”

I made a small reverence. “I am pleased to meet you, Lady Margit. I am honored to be invited here tonight.”

“The Queen speaks highly of you, and wishes to hear about your work. As do the rest of us! We’ve never had a mortal scholar here before. It’s all quite exciting for us.”

Well, fancy that. I’m a fascinating diversion for the ladies of the Asgard court. Another one to file under “things they never tell you in graduate school”.

Frigga and several ladies were seated on divans near the fireplace, chatting and laughing.

Lady Margrit led me forward. We both reverenced. “Your Majesty, Lady Sia is here.”

“Lady Sia! I am so pleased you could join us tonight.” Frigga nodded. “Lady Helen, would you ring for the servants, please?”

Lady Helen reverenced, and crossed over to the bell.

“Let’s seat ourselves. No need for ceremony!” Frigga was in a merry mood. I hoped that mood would hold throughout the evening.

Lady Margrit guided me to my chair, and sat next to me. I was disappointed that Lady Helen was attending the Queen tonight, so I would not have her for company as well. I noticed, with some relief, that Lady Johanna was nowhere to be seen.

As the guest of honor, I was seated to Frigga’s right. Where everyone can see and hear me. _You can do this, Sia_. It’s a far more pleasant setting than the conference room where you did your dissertation defense.

The household staff appeared and there was a great deal of bustle and movement. As usual, they withdrew to the side once all the ladies had been served.

“Lady Sia, I wish to hear more about your work. Would you mind telling us about it?” Frigga’s smile was as bright as the golden goblet from which she drank.

“I would be honored, Your Majesty. My purpose is to create a clear and accurate history of the royal family of Asgard. So much of what we on Midgard know is clouded by myths, and confounded by the lack of verified sources. Thus, I want to create clarity, so that the true events are not lost to the mists of time, and the legends are known for what they are as well.”

“That is quite the challenge, Lady Sia! Even for someone who lives through an event, what is fact and what is remembered immediately afterward can differ greatly, much less the alterations that happen as the memory is recounted time and again.”

“It is challenging, indeed, to sort fact from fiction, and to try to eliminate the alterations of time. Sometimes, one is simply not able to reach the absolute fact of the event, but one can then construct possibilities by taking into consideration personal perspectives and cultural bias, as well as cultural changes through history.” History 101: even the people who witnessed the event have biases and inaccurate memories, and the societal expectations and norms shape the recollection as well.

“How does one account for all of that?”

“It’s a complex process, Your Majesty. It helps to have a thorough knowledge of the culture of the time, so that one can look for places where the narrative may have been changed to meet cultural norms. If there is information about the person creating the account, and their circumstances, that can also shed light on how the story may have been altered. An account of a battle written by the scribe of the winning general is significantly different than that written by the losing general’s youngest son, who was too young too fight, and so watched from the sidelines.”

The ladies laughed. “Yes, they do have different perspectives on the event,” Frigga conceded.

“Cultural history is written by the winners. One must do more research to find the story told by those on the other side of the event, and then balance the two to derive a factual narrative, and recognize the cultural overlay.”

“All very interesting, Lady Sia. Thank you.”

Frigga turned to the chamberlain. “Let’s have the musicians play now, shall we?” He nodded, and wordlessly went off to instruct the musicians to begin.

I wondered if I had said something wrong. All too likely—I seemed to have a gift for it. I could ask Thor, and he could let me know the best way to make an apology to the Queen.

I didn’t have much time to think about it. Frigga’s voice commanded, “So, tell me—how does Asgard compare to Midgard?”

Oh, boy. Loaded question. Time to go into Courtier Mode.

I took a breath, and smiled. “Your Majesty, it would be difficult to do any kind of comparison. Asgard is amazing and unique.”

“But surely there are similarities?” Frigga persisted.

“Indeed there are! Mostly in the ordinary things—weather happens, plants and animals thrive or not depending on the weather, and the people thrive depending on the well-being of the flora and fauna.”

“As on all worlds. I was thinking more along the lines of what you see in Asgard that you do not see in Midgard, and the reverse.”

Another deep breath. “I see peace and plenty in Asgard. I see a people ruled by wise leaders who truly care for the good of their own. Midgard is divided into countless countries—large and small—with competing ideas about what is good, and what is right. There is war, and injustice, and cruelty. Some of the leaders have good ideas, but are unable to enact them due to resistance or sabotage from persons of lesser character.”

“And yet you love your little world?” Frigga seemed genuinely curious.

“I do, Your Majesty. There are good leaders, who make it possible for things to get better. There are individual people, common people, who do good, who want to make things better, and they are the ones that give us all hope that Midgard will one day reach a state of peace with itself. The planet itself is beautiful, and there are many positive aspects of life on Midgard. Much as Asgard—we have our families, our friends, our work, our passions, our art, which feed our souls and keep us alive just as much as the bread we eat.”

“And your family, Lady Sia? They are supportive of your work?”

Another loaded question. It’s as though Frigga had a list of buttons to push.

“I come from a small family, Your Majesty. My brothers and I are the only ones remaining, and, as they live geographically distant from me, we do not spend much time with each other.”

“And your husband? Surely a lovely woman such as you has a partner.” Frigga smiled with an expression I was unable to parse—and third button hit.

“I was married, Your Majesty, but am no longer.” I had no desire to discuss my former spouse, and hoped that my tone had not been too sharp. “I am content in my work. I have the pleasure of exchanging ideas with some of the finest minds in my field. My classes are filled with students who are eager to learn and do their own work. I am able to travel, to do research, and to live my life in whatever way pleases me, without the complications of familial expectations. It’s a perfect situation for someone like me.” I took a sip from my goblet to mask a sudden urge to cry. That would definitely have to wait until later.

“A strong, independent, intelligent woman! How refreshing!” declared Frigga. “I think it might be good for some of our young women to hear this.”

All eyes turned to Lady Helen.

“Yes, I do think it would be good for our young women to have things to occupy their thoughts other than dresses and suitors.” Lady Helen remained calm, but her eyes narrowed.

“Lady Helen, we have the same problem on Midgard. Young women think of dresses and young men, and the young men think of cars—horses—and young women. I think it’s simply part of the process of growing up, and for their parents and teachers to help them find something to pull their attention to what is truly important for them in the bigger picture of their lives. That’s the point of adolescence—moving from a fantasy of what life is to the reality of it, and learning to shape reality to one’s satisfaction through work, creative expression, family, and community.”

“For someone who has not raised children, Lady Sia, you seem to have a strong opinion.” Frigga smiled. Hot button number four hit.

“It’s true I have raised no children of my own, Your Majesty. I have never wished to be a mother. I find fulfillment in working with my students in a way that their parents cannot, to help them find their passions and the means to pursue them while also meeting their material needs.” I had had this conversation so many times before. Only now, I was having it with the divine mother of two gods.

“It’s a pity, Lady Sia. You would have been a good mother, with an attitude like that.”

I nodded. “Thank you for the compliment, Your Majesty. Had I been occupied with children of my own, however, I would not have had the time or attention to give to the others who needed me. So I think it has all worked out well.”

“Lady Sia, I commend you for your good sense in making the best of your situation on Midgard.” The Queen raised her cup.

“A toast! To Lady Sia, our friend and scholar!”

The ladies all lifted their cups. “To Lady Sia!”

I raised my glass with a smile, and toasted the group.

“And to the lovely Queen Frigga, who inspires and encourages us all!”

“To the Queen!”

Frigga graciously accepted the toast.

“My ladies, this has been a lovely evening, more so than usual with the added pleasure of Lady Sia’s company. I thank you all.”

Frigga rose, as did we all.

“I wish all of you a pleasant night.”

We all reverenced, and Frigga left through a side door, followed by Lady Helen.

Lady Margrit took my hand. “Lady Sia, would you care to stay with us a bit longer? We are to have wine by the fire.”

“You are kind to ask, Lady Margrit. I must decline, however, as I must be up quite early tomorrow to continue my work in the library.” I felt I’d made it through the evening with relatively few missteps, and wanted to keep it that way.

“Such a disappointment to us, but of course we understand.” Lady Margrit’s smile was genuinely warm. “Perhaps you can join us another evening.”

“I would like that very much, Lady Margrit.” I returned the smile.

The chamberlain approached. “Lady Sia, Prince Thor is here for you.”

A few giggles were quickly suppressed.

“Thank you, Chamberlain. I will go with him.”

Lady Margrit leaned in close. “There’s not a single lady in this palace who does not wish to be you. Bear your good fortune with good grace, Lady Sia.”

“Thank you, Lady Margrit. I shall do my best.”

Aloud, I spoke, “Thank you, ladies, for a most pleasant evening. I do hope to see you again soon.”

We all made reverence to each other, and the chamberlain escorted me to the door.

As the door closed, I heard one of the ladies exclaim, “Another Midgardian! As though there are no beauties on Asgard!”

* * *

I was happy to be out of there.

Thor came up, and took my arm. “How was it, Sia? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Thor, just tired. Your Mother is a highly intelligent woman, and the conversation was quite lively.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Thor looked worried.

“It was fine, Thor. A lot of it is just the cultural differences between our two worlds. Everyone here seems astonished that I’m not married.”

“Well, Sia, you have to understand—we see a beautiful, intelligent woman devoted to her work, and wonder what is wrong with the men of Midgard that none would desire such a jewel.”

I laughed. “You are too kind, Thor! On Midgard, I’m a bit too old to be beautiful, and no matter how intelligent I am, I am still a woman in a man’s world. I can’t imagine finding any man at this point in my life who would love me for who I am. And I refuse to be anything except myself. I’d rather be single and happy than married and lonely.”

“That makes me sad to hear, Sia. I would wish you all the happiness life can give you.”

“Thank you, Thor. I am happy with myself and my life. At this point, a man would just be a complication, and I don’t need any complications. It took me almost 10 years to remove all the complications from my life last time.”

“I am sorry, Sia. As long as you are happy, I am happy for your happiness.”

“Thank you for understanding, Thor.”

We had arrived at my chamber. I knew Sóldís was waiting for me.

“Sleep well, Thor. Sweet dreams!”

“Sweet dreams to you, dear Sia.” Thor gave me a hug, and strode off down the passage.

 


	6. The Loki or the Tiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki visits Sia in her chambers, late at night, uninvited. What could possibly go right?
> 
> The title comes from the Frank R. Stockton story, "The Lady or the Tiger". If you haven't read it, you will still be able to follow this chapter. If you have read it, you will appreciate this chapter a bit more.
> 
> Suggested music: "An Unlikely Alliance", from Brian Tyler's Soundtrack to "Thor: The Dark World": https://youtu.be/4-4ddAspXIU

* * *

I glanced at the mantel clock as I entered the room. Not yet midnight. I could write for two hours and still be reasonably functional in the morning.

“Sóldís, please help me change, and then I would appreciate a pot of tea.” A bit of caffeine to see me through the couple of hours would be helpful.

Sóldís whirled about in her usual efficient manner, and before I could say “night clothes”, I was changed into my chemise, robe, and slippers, and sinking into a chair next to the fire. Sóldís headed off to perform her kitchen magic.

* * *

 I was wakened by a knock at the door, and a young man’s voice. “Lady Sia, we are here with your tea, as requested.”

“Oh, please, come in!” Clearly, I was even more in need of caffeine than I had realized.

The door opened, and one of the young men in blue entered, carrying a tray.

Behind him was—not Sóldís.

“Your Highness.” I stood, and reverenced at Prince Loki’s entrance.

“Put the tray down, and leave us. We are well, and I shall ring should we require anything further. Instruct the other staff, and do not return unbidden.” The Prince turned and looked at the boy, who complied, fleeing the room as though chased by wolves.

“Lady Sia. I hope you do not mind. Poor Sóldís was rather tired, and I told her I would ensure your wine would be delivered without delay.” Loki smiled, attempting to be charming. And, damn it, succeeding.

_He is the God of Mischief. He lies. Be careful._

“Now, Lady Sia, why would I lie to you?” Again with the charming smile.

_Stay out of my head, Prince Loki._ I visualized white light and took a deep breath.

“Your Highness, this is so . . . _thoughtful_ of you.” Keeping my voice even and soft, I continued, “But I requested tea, not wine. I have work to do, and the tea helps me think and keeps me awake.”

“Oh, there is tea, no worry, dear Sia. But I also brought wine in case you felt the need to relax.”

_Sia? Since when have I said you may call me by my name?_

“Lady Sia, a thousand pardons. I did not mean to offend.” Prince Loki bowed, his green eyes dancing as they looked up at me.

Sia, get a grip on yourself. Silver Tongue. Remember?

“Now, would you like tea or wine?” Prince Loki inquired, the gracious host.

“Your Highness, I requested tea. And, as I have work to do, I must ask you to leave at once.” I looked him directly in the eye. Stating one’s preference as a command, not a request, is suitable for servants, and I had just used it on a prince who was also a god.

“As you wish, Lady Sia. I would not dream of disturbing your labors.” He pushed the tea pot and a cup towards me.

“And so I take my leave of you. Goodnight, Lady Sia.” Prince Loki stood, and bowed.

I stood to reverence, and stopped. I decided to play back. Why not? I could always tell him to leave, and he would comply. He would not dare to have me create an outcry at this hour—or any other. I suddenly realized that the balance of power was definitely tipped in my favor.

Reseating myself, I asked, “Prince Loki, why did you come here? With the tea tray as the merest pretext? Surely nothing is so urgent that it cannot wait until the morning?”

I poured myself some tea, and leaned back in my chair.

“Do you mind if I have some wine?” Prince Loki asked, so politely, as he poured himself a goblet and took a seat.

“Apparently, it does not matter whether I mind,” I replied, nodding at the goblet.

“Lady Sia—dear Sia—friend of my brother—can we not drop the formalities?” Prince Loki smiled at me over his goblet.

“Your Highness, I think that would be unwise. I do not know you that well, and doing so implies a familiarity that I do not feel is entirely appropriate.” I sipped my tea.

Prince Loki straightened, setting down his goblet with a firmness that bespoke his irritation.

“Lady Sia. I am here tonight because first, I wish to apologize for my behavior at supper last night. I was rude, and I hope you will forgive me.” Loki looked down at his wine. “I am not proud of what I said. I should not have provoked Odin in such a way, should not have spoiled an otherwise pleasant evening. I hope we can move past it.”

“Thank you, Prince Loki. I accept the apology.”

Loki continued to stare at the wine in his goblet.

“Is there anything else, your Highness?” I was anxious to resume writing, and while I certainly appreciated his apology, I didn’t want this discussion to turn into an endless ceremonial.

“Lady Sia, I would like to offer my services to you as librarian. The healers still do not know what ails Dagmar, and she must continue to rest.” Loki looked at me, his face neutral. “The library here is massive—the collection of centuries. I could select books for you which would directly suit your purposes. I know your time here—Asgard—is short,” he caught himself. “I could help you make the most of the time by leading you to the books which are most helpful for your work.”

_Sia, he knows your weak points. He is Silver Tongue._

“Lady Sia, I swear to you, this is no trick! I want to help you.”

Prince Loki stared at me.

“But you must trust me.” Prince Loki’s gaze, unwavering, locked onto my eyes.

“Prince Loki, you are cruel. You offer me what I most desire, at a price you know I cannot pay.” I forced the words out, calmly and coolly, despite my heart pounding wildly under my robes.

“Lady Sia, I know you are a scholar, and you know the myths about me, about my family, about all of this.” He gestured around the room, agitated. “But have you not found the reality to differ from the myth? My brother is not always a humorless warrior; the Allfather is not always stern and prideful; Frigga herself is not as your myths paint her.” He knelt in front of me, and in a low voice asked, “Is it not possible, then, that I am not always as portrayed in myth? Is it not possible that I am capable of being kind, of doing good, of telling the truth?”

The room began to spin. _Loki is kneeling at my feet, offering me a most incredible gift, at a most impossible price._

“Why is it impossible, Lady Sia?” he cried. “Why is it impossible that I am more than what others say, what others see? You spoke only yesterday of your frustration as being seen as only ‘a skirt with opinions’ instead of a scholar with valid theories documented by research. You are more than a skirt, and I am more than a Trickster!” He rose, resumed pacing. “I have no one— no one!—with whom I can discuss so much of what I think, of what I read. I am replete with ideas, and have no outlet save talking to myself. That is a kind of madness I do not wish to explore, a kind of madness I fear. And I had hoped—but I was a fool for hoping.” He stopped pacing, and turned away.

“Prince Loki, as the archetypal Trickster, you cannot deny your nature, any more than a tiger can deny its nature as a hunter.” Endless discussions of deities as archetypes flashed across my mind.

“Even a tiger has a tigress, and cubs, and cares for them, and provides for them, and protects them,” he replied quietly, still turned away from me. “A tiger hunts, and protects its own, and plays, and sleeps, like all creatures.”

“And you wish to provide for me by helping me in the library? Why?”

He spun and faced me. “Because you would appreciate it! Because it would give you what you need to complete your book, and it would be the finest book in your field, and win you the acknowledgment you so richly deserve.” He paused.

“And it is something we could do together.” The faintest note of pleading crept into his voice.

_I have lost my mind. Clearly, I am completely crazy. I’m probably just sitting in my office with a line of students waiting to see me, but I’m imagining that I’m in Asgard having wine with Loki, and he wants to help me with my research._

“It’s not madness, Sia! It’s real. I will do this for you, but you must trust me if I am to be able to do it all before you must return to Midgard.” The pleading in his voice echoed in my heart.

“Let me do this for you. Let me show you that I am not all shadows and lies.”

“Thank you, Prince Loki. That is very kind of you.”

“It’s really the least I can do, Sia, for an exceptional scholar like you.”

There’s that word again. This is the third time he’s referred to me as an “exceptional” scholar. If genuine, this was quite the compliment from a god.

“Why me, Loki? What makes me so exceptional?” I focused on keeping my breathing even in an attempt to think clearly, with only partial success.

“Because you care about your work, Sia, Because you care about the truth. Because you care about all of us, about all of this, in a way that we ourselves cannot even do. And though we seem eternal, none of us are immortal. We will die, Asgard will fall, and the realm will pass into story. But your work will ensure that the story is true, that what is real will be remembered.”

From my confused state came the words, “What is remembered, lives.” Part of a mourning ritual I’d heard more than once as friends passed out of this life.

“Exactly, Sia. Your work is the key to our true immortality. You. You hold that key. You can capture the light and keep it burning, long after the dust of Ragnarok dissipates across the universe.”

The truth of his words sank into my mind, my soul. Suddenly, everything made sense—my whole life, my career, my writing. Everything led me to this moment, to this place, to this work.

I rose from the chair. “Prince Loki, I am honored. I will trust you, and I will do this work you have set before me.”

He knelt before me, taking my hand. His eyes locked onto mine, eyes filled with gratitude and hope.

“Thank you, Sia. Thank you.” He kissed my hand, and my heart skipped a beat.

He rose. “It is late, and I have taken far too much of your time. For now, I leave you to your rest. From tomorrow, your work will be much easier.”

“Thank you, Prince Loki.” I was floating, as in a dream, and could see myself conversing with him.

“Thank you, Sia. And a very good night to you.” He bowed, and left the room.

I returned to my body, and collapsed into the chair.


	7. Progress, Not Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True to his word, Loki assists Sia in the library. But then, well, he is a Trickster, and the only constant is the unexpected.
> 
> Suggested music: "Lokasenna" from the soundtrack to "Thor: The Dark World" by Brian Tyler.

Sóldís had brought my notebooks and pens from my chamber, and arranged them on the work table next to a stack of books. With a curtsey, she took her leave.

I picked up the top book from the stack, and noticed a card just visible above the top edge of the cover. A linen card bordered with green and gold, no design or monogram, though I had no doubt as to the source. 

_My Dear Lady Sia:_

_After our conversation last night, I pulled these books for you to peruse today._

_I hope you find them helpful._

_Prince Loki_

A thoughtful gesture, yes. It would definitely save me time searching for these particular volumes. Since Loki knew the library better than anyone except Dagmar, I had no doubt these would be exactly what I needed.

With silent thanks to Loki, I sat down to begin my work.

* * *

The day passed much as the prior day had. When the clock chimed seven, I realized I had no evening obligations, and could continue working as late as I wished.

Not five minutes later, Sóldís appeared.

“Lady Sia, what do you wish for this evening? Some of the ladies are dining in the East Salon, if you care to join them.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. You are kind to let me know. However, I will continue here in the library until bed time. I’ve made such amazing progress today, I don’t want to stop!”

“As you wish, my lady. Would you like your supper brought here?”

I pondered. I was hungry, but I didn’t want to stop working.

“Sóldís, I will have supper later, once my work here is complete for the day. I shall ring when I am ready to retire to my chamber.”

The waiting woman looked at me skeptically. “As you wish, my lady. But you must eat.”

“I promise, Sóldís, I will ring when I am ready.”

Sóldís sighed, curtsied, and took her leave.

I returned to my books.

* * *

Just after 11:00 p.m., I closed the last book, capped my pen, and sighed.

The books were _exactly_ what I had needed.

_I must thank Loki next time I see him._

“I accept your thanks, Lady Sia.” Loki loomed up out my peripheral vision.

“Prince Loki! How long have you been here?” I was disturbed by the idea that he’d been able to come so close without my noticing.

“I just walked in, Lady Sia.” He bowed. “I am pleased the books were useful for you.”

“Prince Loki, I appreciate—“ I began. A sound in the doorway caused us both to turn.

“Prince Loki! I apologize. I did not know you were here.” Sóldís gave a deep bow. “I have been waiting for Lady Sia to ring for her supper, and became concerned when the hour had grown so late and I had not heard from her.”

“That’s very good of you, Sóldís.” Loki nodded. Sóldís relaxed a bit.

“Lady Sia, have you truly not yet eaten?” Loki looked at me, adopting a mocking version of Sóldís’ concerned tone.

“No, Prince Loki, I have not. The work must come first.” I stiffened. I did not like him mocking Sóldís.

“You must be famished! Sóldís, please prepare something for Lady Sia at once!” Loki turned to the still-unnerved woman.

“Actually, Sóldís, I am fine. I am more tired than hungry, and wish to go straight to my chamber and sleep.”

That wasn’t true at all. I was ravenous, but I was not going to let Loki treat Sóldís with such casual disregard.

“I appreciate your concern, Prince Loki, but I am well. Goodnight.” I curtsied, and turned to leave with Sóldís.

“Goodnight, Lady Sia. Rest well.”

_I am sorry, Lady Sia. I can’t help it sometimes._

I surrounded my mind with white light, and refused to reply.

 


	8. A Princely Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frigga has arranged a picnic for Sia and Thor as a break from Sia's work in the library. And then there's Loki. And that Asgardian wine . . . .
> 
> Suggested music: "Prélude à l'Après-midi d'un faune" by Claude Debussy. https://youtu.be/bYyK922PsUw

* * *

When I arrived at the library Saturday morning, the books from yesterday had been moved aside, and a new stack of books took their place. This morning, however, there was no note. I sighed. I was grateful for Loki’s continued help, but exasperated at his inconsistency.

I laughed when I realized what I had just said to myself. Shaking my head at my own inconsistency, I sat down to work.

* * *

“Sia! There you are!” called Thor from the library doorway.

“Hello, Thor! Yes, I am here. Where else would I be?” I was perplexed.

“It’s Saturday, Sia! We are to go riding!” Thor beamed.

“Oh, yes! Right! I’m so sorry, Thor. The days are running together, and I have lost track.” I felt embarrassed to have forgotten our plans to ride today, and hoped Thor was as gracious as he seemed.

“No worries, dear lady! However, it’s a beautiful day, and the horses await!”

I capped my pen and closed my notebook. “I should return these to my room before we go.”

Sóldís appeared from behind Thor. “I will tend to that, my lady. You should go ride! The day is far too nice to spend indoors.” Sóldís handed me a riding hat, and began carefully packing my notebooks and pens into my bag.

“Thank you, dear Sóldís!” I wanted to hug her, but refrained, knowing that it would be uncomfortable for her.

“Thor, let’s go!” Suddenly, I was eager to be outdoors, to breathe fresh air, to see trees and plants and sky. I realized I hadn’t actually been outside the castle, except to enjoy the view from various balconies, since my arrival on Tuesday.

“This way, Sia!” Thor strode off down the hallway, and we chatted amiably as we made our way outdoors to where the horses waited.

* * *

Sigrid, the beautiful roan mare was waiting for me, held by Sigmund, just as on Tuesday. Thor helped me mount, then mounted into his own saddle. The small cadre of blue-liveried servants in their wagon was augmented by a somewhat larger group of palace guards.

“Thor, are all these people going to ride with us?” I was a bit taken aback, as I had thought it would be a bit of social time for just the two of us.

“The household ride to serve our picnic, Sia,” he replied, smiling. “And the guard come at Mother’s insistence. She would not forgive me if anything happened to you.”

I was about to protest that Asgard was the safest place in the Universe for me to be, and thought better of it. If Frigga felt a guard was required, who was I to argue?

“Your Mother is a most thoughtful Queen. I do hope she knows how much I appreciate all she has done for me.”

“Mother thinks well of you, Sia, and it gives her pleasure to smooth your path.” Thor’s smile was a reflection of Frigga’s, and warmed me through.

“I am a most fortunate lady, indeed, with such a Queen for a friend, and such a Prince as a companion!” I returned the smile.

“Let us ride!” Thor called out, and we moved as a group out of the palace courtyard, headed for the open country.

* * *

The lands around the city were perfect in their beauty. Aged trees, lush greenery, birds and animals going about their daily business of living, combined to create a landscape of vitality and energy. However we rode—at a trot, a slow walk, a gallop—the guards kept perfect, and perfectly respectful, pace with us. The household staff had gone ahead to prepare the picnic.

Our wanderings took us to a delightful grove of trees, a perfect arboreal circle, with a little cottage at one end. The household had set up a small feast, with tables and fancy chairs, gold and silver plate bedecking the tables.

“Thor! This is splendid!” I cried with delight. It was something out of a tapestry, or a painting.

“A day of leisure, to be enjoyed, must have all good things!” Thor laughed, and we rode into the glade.

Thor stopped abruptly, and I came to a stop beside him. Sigrid whinnied her dismay at the unexpected stop.

“Loki. What a surprise to see you here.” Thor’s smile faded, and his voice was cold.

“Brother! I am so pleased to see you and Lady Sia have arrived here at Amber Cottage. All is in readiness, and simply awaits your enjoyment.” Loki’s smile of welcome seemed almost genuine.

“Mother arranged this for Sia.” Thor was attempting to restrain his anger.

“Yes, she did, and it’s lovely! And then she had the idea that I should be here to help entertain our guest.” Loki bowed. “Lady Sia, it is a pleasure to see you in such a lovely setting.”

“Sia, if you wish him to leave . . . .” Thor began.

Loki looked at me, smiling. _I need to speak with you. It cannot wait until tonight._

“Thor, it is indeed a surprise to find him here. But it’s such a pleasant day, perhaps we can all simply relax and try to enjoy it together?” I was as surprised as Thor to see his brother here. The ride had been so wonderful, I had forgotten about the previous evening’s complications.

_Well, this isn’t exactly the spot for a private conversation now, is it?_ I wondered what was going on behind those green eyes.

Loki continued smiling at me. _It will have to do. You would not speak with me last night, and I missed you at the library this morning by just a few minutes._

“Sia, I will honor your wishes. However, if at any point, your wish is for him to leave, you shall but say the word, and he shall take his leave.” Thor seemed resigned to Loki’s presence, and was trying to be gracious for my sake.

“I promise you both, I am of good cheer today, and will make every effort to be a pleasant companion in our festivities!” Loki’s smile continued, unwavering.

Thor helped me down from my horse, and one of the grooms took our mounts. The guards retired to a discreet distance, setting up a perimeter around the glade.

“Lady Sia, as our guest—please, take the head of the table.” Loki gestured to the elaborately carved chair at the top of the board.

“Thank you, Your Highness. I am honored.”

“Allow me,” Loki said, pulling out the chair. I sat, and he moved the chair forward to the table with no apparent effort.

The Princes took the chairs on either side, Loki on my right, Thor on my left.

We made polite conversation as the household presented dishes, filled our plates, topped up our goblets, and then withdrew.

As promised, Loki made himself good company. He was charming and cheerful, coaxing stories out of Thor about their adventures together as children, about Thor’s own excursions to other Realms, about Odin and Frigga and the unique experience of growing up as gods and royalty. The staff kept our plates and goblets filled, and the conversation flowed, as bright and sparkling as the wine.

“So then Mother looked at Father, and asked him how he’d managed to lose both of us, knowing he couldn’t see us, even though we were right behind him!” Thor roared with laughter, and even Loki permitted himself a genuine laugh.

_This is perfect. I can die happy now. Book or no book, this is the best day of my life, ever._

Loki turned to me as Thor continued his tale. _The book is still within you; as perfect as today is, it is most certainly not your last day._ The sadness in his eyes pierced my heart. I picked up my goblet and quickly drank, attempting to keep the golden mood a bit longer.

“Loki! Do you know that Sia likes swans?” Thor looked at his brother, pleased to know something that Loki did not.

“I did not know this, Thor. But I am not surprised, given that she herself is blessed with as much grace as a swan.” Loki’s eyes matched his voice, letting me know the compliment was truly meant.

‘Thank you, Prince Loki. You are very kind to say so.” I found myself surprised at the compliment, and the genuine nature of it.

“Swans are often used by the gods as messengers,” Loki continued. “I wonder what divine missive you carry for us to hear.”

“All manner of birds are used as messengers,” I replied. “I doubt that I know anything in particular that would be news to the elders of Asgard.” I gripped the handles of the chair, and sat up straighter. _What are you going on about?_

_Everything is fine. We’ll speak later._ Loki smiled at me, again with seemingly genuine warmth.

“The sun has shifted, it is suddenly quite hot!” burst out Thor.

Picking up Thor’s tone, Loki chimed in. “Let us retire to the divans, and take refuge in the shade so Sia does not burn.”

Loki pulled back my chair, and Thor escorted me to one of three divans set up in the shade of the oaks.

“Loki! Swans!” Thor exclaimed. “You should tell Sia the story of the swans!”

The story was about seven sisters who all loved each other dearly. The youngest was courted by a magician, who wanted to steal her away. She refused, as she was happy living with her sisters by the lake, and had no wish to leave them. The magician turned all of the older sisters into swans in retaliation for the girl’s refusal of his affections, and swore he would not turn them back until she consented to be his. The girl continued to refuse, and, with magical aid from a wolf and a dragon, was eventually able to counteract the magician’s spell and return her sisters to their human forms. The magician was so furious that his own magic consumed him in fire, and the sisters lived happily ever after.

“What fortunate women, to have a sister like her!” I was delighted by the tale.

“And I, I am fortunate to have a brother like Thor!” Loki was mellow with the day’s pleasures.

Thor did not answer. I turned, and saw him asleep on his divan. The food, the wine, and the warmth of the day had lulled him to sleep.

Loki noticed as well, and took the opportunity to move over and sit next to me.

“Sia, I apologize for the scene in the library last night. I feel great affection for Sóldís. And yet sometimes I cannot help myself—I tease, and the joke goes too far.” Loki seemed truly contrite.

“Loki, I understand, it happens. But you must not be anything except kind to Sóldís. She is devoted to your family, and she has been a complete angel to me.” I looked directly into his eyes. No dancing golden lights, no laughter—he was making a real apology.

“Thank you, Sia. You are correct. Sóldís is a dear woman. I will do my best to be more mindful of her.” Loki gave a half-smile, trying to reassure me of his good intent.

“Thank you, Loki. I appreciate your kindness to her.”

Loki did not reply. The bird song was the only sound in the glade.

“And I appreciate your kindness to me. The books you’ve selected—they’re perfect. I cannot thank you enough. You have given me exactly what I need, and I feel better about being able to finish my work in the time remaining.”

Loki smiled. “I am glad, Sia. Glad I can help.”

“The story about the swan was sweet, and also exciting. Hearing a folk tale that features a strong female character who can solve problems is not as common as one might wish.”

“It’s a very old tale, and has changed over the centuries. Like all folk tales.” Loki lit up. I’d stumbled on a topic he was eager to discuss. “There are other versions of it, compiled for comparison. I’ll be sure to pull that volume for you as well, Sia.”

“Thank you, Loki.”

The afternoon air was heavy with heat, and I realized I’d had a bit too much wine. I was suddenly quite conscious of his closeness to me on the divan.

“It’s strangely warm for this time of year. The harvest usually signals a turn to cold.” Loki’s voice was smooth and soothing, completely relaxed.

I reached for words to reply. “I am glad of the shade. The heat is difficult for me.”

Light-headed, I leaned my head against his shoulder. I was delighted when he put his arm around me, and surprised at myself for feeling so.

“Steady, Sia! Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Loki. Just suddenly very sleepy. I may have had more wine than I realized.”

“That Asgardian wine—it sneaks up on you, like a wolf pouncing out of the forest! You have to be very careful.”

We both laughed.

_This is so wonderful. I don’t want today to end. Ever._

“Today is as close to a perfect day as I’ve had in a long time. Thank you, Sia.”

“Thank you, Loki. I will remember this, always.”

Loki’s arm around me pulled me closer. “As will I, Sia. As will I.”

* * *

I was standing in an unlit passage in the palace. I could hear others moving in distant corridors, but without light to guide me, I did not know which way to go to return to human company. I stood silently, trying to hear my way forward.

A swan with green eyes flew up the hallway and landed at my feet. It made eye contact, then turned and started to walk, a direction that seemed like it moved away from the place I was trying to get to, moving towards darkness and silence, away from the sound of voices and the distant light where I thought I was headed. I had no idea where it was going, and I also knew that I had no idea how to get to where I thought I wanted to be. I turned to follow the swan . . . .

* * *

And woke up on the divan under the trees. The sun was setting, and a chill was rising. I was wrapped in a cloak, protected against the cold and the dew.

I sat up and saw Thor asleep on the other divan. There was no sign of Loki.

I realized I was wearing Loki’s cloak.

I wept.


	9. A Cold Saturday Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A warm afternoon out turns into a cold night in. Wine, fever, and fairy tales make for a complicated night.

* * *

Despite the hot bath, and being wrapped in blankets in front of the fire, I could not get warm.

“Now, my lady, you stay right here by the fire, and I’ll see that a proper hot supper turns up for you.” Sóldís patted my hand.

“Sóldís, I do not wish to be rude to my hosts. I should go to supper.” I felt terrible physically, and terrible emotionally for failing in my duties as a guest.

“Lady Sia, they will understand. If you’re not feeling your best, you need to stay warm, and rest.” Sóldís looked at me, and I imagined the same look on her face, having this same conversation with other visitors.

“You are correct, Sóldís. As always.”

Sóldís smiled. “That’s a dear!”

“I am content here by the fire. Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

“’Tis truly a pleasure, my lady.”

Sóldís bustled off to the kitchens. I turned back to the fire, curled up in the chair, and fell asleep.

* * *

Sóldís returned, leading another young man in blue livery. Young, even for a page, he seemed afraid to breathe, as though somehow that would knock everything off balance.

“Just set it down, there’s a good lad, Erik,” Sóldís instructed.

Erik set the tray on the table, attempted a bow, and fled.

“Please excuse him, Lady Sia. He’s been with us less than a week, and he seems quite overwhelmed by palace life.”

_I understand_. _It can be rather confusing_.

“We were all young once, Sóldís! I have no doubt he’ll be a gentleman soon.”

Sóldís smiled. “Erik is a good lad, just quiet.”

She poured some tea, and pointed to a book on the tray.

“The Queen sent this for you. She is sorry you are unwell, and reminds you that all you require is yours for the asking. We have many good healers who can visit you here in your chamber, if need be.”

“Please thank Her Majesty for me, Sóldís. She is so very thoughtful. I am certain a good night’s warm sleep will cure this cold.”

“I told Prince Thor you would need a cloak. But did he listen to me? ‘Oh, no, Sóldís, it’s a fine warm day, she’ll be well’, he says.” Sóldís shook her head. “He could have at least given you _his_ cloak to avoid the chill.”

“None of us expected it to turn so cold, so quickly, this early in the autumn.” I knew she wasn’t really mad at Thor, but I felt the need to defend him. “And Prince Loki was kind enough to give me his cloak.”

Sóldís stopped fussing with the plates, and looked me straight in the eye.

“Lady Sia, be careful. Prince Loki never does a kindness without a reason. And that reason usually isn’t any good for the person who isn’t him.”

“Sóldís, it was just a cloak. And I was asleep. He didn’t even ask.”

“See, there it is! Even worse. He’s done you a favor without your consent, and now you’re obligated, even though you didn’t agree to be.” Sóldís shook her head. “That man thinks he can just do as he pleases. Poor Berthe—“

Sóldís caught herself, fell silent, and went back to setting the table.

“Sóldís, who is Berthe?” This was not a name I’d heard before.

“Lady Sia, she is no one. Forget I mentioned her.” Sóldís kept her eyes on her work.

“Sóldís, this could be important. I need to know. Who is Berthe?” I had to know who she was, and why she was “Poor Berthe” in regards to Loki.

“Lady Sia, you did not hear this from me.” There was a hint of fear in her voice.

“I did not hear anything from you, Sóldís.”

“Very well, my lady.” Sóldís took a deep breath.

“Berthe is a daughter of one of the noble families. A bright girl, and lively. She is known as a historian, and a writer of songs, and would often spend hours in the library here at the palace.”

This all sounded a little too familiar.

“Go on, please, Sóldís.”

She cleared her throat. “Prince Loki started being at the library when she was there. And offering to help her find books, since he knows where all the best ones are. They began to spend a great deal of time together. One thing led to another; now she carries his child, and he refuses to see or acknowledge her.”

_Now I understand why everyone was so worried about me when I first arrived. Thank the gods I am far beyond such follies at my age_.

“Sóldís, this is quite sad. Poor Berthe, indeed.” I was once again grateful that I had no children to care for, interfering with my work.

“His parents are furious, of course. Not because he’s fathered a child, but because of his treatment of her once she informed him. And her mother is beside herself. Lady Johanna was already in a bad place since the death of her husband and both of her sons at the battle of Niflheim, and now to have her daughter treated so poorly by the Prince, it’s just too much for her. She’d rather thought that perhaps Berthe’s involvement with the Prince might lead to great honors for the family, but now she will have a grandchild, and still no men in the house.”

“Is this the Lady Johanna I met at the feast the first night?” I gazed at Sóldís.

“Yes, Lady Sia. The same.” Sóldís sighed. “She was a lovely person, but sorrow has turned her mind toward sadness and bitterness.”

“Her cousin, Lady Helen, hinted at a great sorrow, but said nothing plainly.” _What was she going to say? Sorry my cousin is crazy, she’s having family problems like you wouldn’t believe_?

“But surely Loki will take some responsibility for her care, and that of the child? Even if he does not love her, he can do that.” My mind was reeling. _Why had he not mentioned this? Why would he have mentioned it?_

“Prince Loki has made it quite clear that this is entirely her problem to solve. He refuses to see her, or even speak of her.”

_This is not in any of the legends I’ve read. Then again,_ I _am not in any of the legends I’ve read. Nor is Jane. I need to think about what this means._

“Thank you, Sóldís, for this conversation that never happened.”

Sóldís relaxed, and poured some tea.

“Now, Lady Sia, forget all that. Enjoy your supper, and your book. I’ll be back later with some mulled wine.” Sóldís curtsied, and left the room, and left me to my thoughts.

* * *

I knew Loki was quite the legendary lover—or, at least, breeder. He had quite the variety of progeny—Sleipnir, Fenris, Jormundgand, Hel, Narvi and Vali. All fantastical, so of course they would be part of the myth. There’s no reason a bastard child by some Asgardian noble woman would be notable for the myths, unless it became a fantastical creature like his other offspring. Berthe probably wasn’t the first to succumb to his charms, nor would she be the last. I felt sorry for her, that her work would be derailed by having an unplanned child with an absent father. I wondered whether, as a noble woman, she would be able to have her household tend to the child so she could return to her work. I wondered whether she wanted to return to her work, or whether she even could, given that her work was at the palace, Loki’s residence.

I decided I was very glad it was not my problem. Catching cold was inconvenient, but not as inconvenient as an unplanned pregnancy.

* * *

Sóldís returned after a short while with mulled wine and a plate of sweets. “These will have you all right in no time, Lady Sia!” she exclaimed. “The biscuits are fresh from the oven.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. I am certain I shall enjoy them well, and so become well!” I was pleased to be able to put together a joke, however small, in spite of feeling ill.

“I’m going to leave you now, Lady Sia. The fire in here is stoked, and the one in the bed chamber is ready as well, just banked. All you need to do is touch the candle to the tinder, and it will warm right up. And if you need anything, at any time tonight, just ring and I’ll be right here.” Sóldís was clearly worried, and also clearly tired.

“Thank you, Sóldís. I can’t imagine a single other thing I could possibly need tonight. Take your own rest, and take care of yourself.” I nodded. “And sweet dreams.”

“Thank you, Lady Sia. To you as well.”

She curtsied, and left the room again.

I was pleased to be left to my own devices, with nothing in particular to do. The only private time I’d had since coming to Asgard was being alone in the library, and while that was certainly rewarding, it wasn’t exactly relaxing.

I decided to see what book Frigga had sent for my amusement. I refilled my goblet, and picked up the book.

The book was bound in deep blue leather, with a crimson and silver gilt embossed design, and crimson and silver embossed lettering proclaiming the title to be “The Swan: A Compendium of Fact, Tales, Legends, and Other Stories of this Divine Avian”. Thor must have told her about my fascination with swans.

Settling on the divan in front of the sitting room fire, I opened the book, and read as I drank the heart-warming wine.

* * *

I was a swan, soaring through a most exquisite blue sky, warm sun on my wings as I surveyed the landscape below.

Out of nowhere, a shadow overtook me, and I realized that a dragon had appeared in pursuit. A green and gold dragon, with blood-red eyes, flying faster than I ever could. And to the dragon, I looked like a perfect snack.

I flew harder, gaining speed, looking for a place to dive and take cover, to hide from the dragon. The countryside was open, flat, featureless.

Another shadow appeared below. A wolf, shaggy and black, jumped into the sky and landed on the dragon’s back. The two fought, tumbling through the air, biting and scratching with great ferocity, inflicting deep wounds from which the blood flowed freely.

I knew this was my chance to get away, and put all my energy into flying as fast and as far as possible, away from the eventual victor of the fight. Whoever won, I was not interested in being on their menu.

* * *

“Sssshhhh, there, there, it’s fine. You’re safe. No one can find you here. Sleep now. All is well.” A hand stroked my hair gently, a low voice murmuring soft reassurances. I fell back to sleep, still feverish.

* * *

The green-eyed swan appeared in my dream, and guided me to safety—a warm, grassy nest in a grove of oaks next to a river. I curled up on the nest to sleep. The green-eyed swan tucked a blanket around me, and sang a soft lullaby.

* * *

I woke up, confused by my dreams. A high fever, too much red wine, too many fairy tales. That was all.

I realized I was in bed, the fire was lit, and I had no idea how I got here from where I’d been reading on the divan in the other room.

“Sóldís? Are you here?”

The only sound in the room was the soft crackling of the fire.

I decided she must have returned to check on me, and finding me asleep on the divan, she had put me to bed before taking her leave.

I fell back to sleep.

 


	10. A Quiet Sunday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday morning brings an unexpected visit from Thor, bearing an unexpected, and to Sia's mind, unnecessary, warning.
> 
> Suggested music: "Morning Mood" from the Peer Gynt suite by Edvard Grieg. https://youtu.be/-rh8gMvzPw0

* * *

The fire was still burning steadily when I woke, giving me a new appreciation for Asgardian magic.

I sat up, realizing that I was no longer feverish, and could breathe without pain, giving me a new appreciation for my body’s own healing magic.

I slipped into my robe and shearling boots, and padded out to the main room to ring for Sóldís.

The table was set for breakfast, everything still warm. Sóldís had already been here—no need to ring.

I smiled. I was enjoying this way of living a great deal, and wished I could stay. Returning to my quotidian life of details and dishes and laundry was going to be difficult.

Just as I was pouring coffee, I heard a knock on the door. I pulled my robe around me, and went to the door. I took a deep breath, and opened it to see Thor standing before me.

“Good morning, Sia. I hope I’m not disturbing you too early. I was concerned, and came to check on you.”

“Good morning, Thor! Please, come in. I’ve just poured coffee.”

As we were sitting, I noticed that the table had been set for two. Sóldís had planned ahead.

“Are you better this morning, Sia? Sóldís said you were quite feverish last night, and that the fever did not break until dawn.” Thor’s voice was filled with concern.

“Except for fatigue, I feel fine, Thor. Thank you.” I was touched by his concern.

“I am glad Sóldís sat with you through the night. I ran into her just as she was returning from delivering your breakfast. I told her to get some sleep, and I’d look after you today.” Thor smiled. “I don’t know much about being a lady’s maid, but whatever you need, Sia, I can arrange for you.”

“Thank you, Thor! You are most kind. I think I will take things easy today, and spend the day reading by the fire. All I will really need is tea. And wine, later.”

“This I can manage, Sia! I know how to ring for more wine!” Thor laughed.

“I am sorry you caught cold yesterday. I should have given you my cloak. I hadn’t expected to fall asleep, though.” Thor seemed puzzled.

“It’s not your fault, Thor! Thank you for a lovely day. It was perfect, in every way. And none of us expected it to get cold.”

Thor relaxed. “You are good company, Sia! The day could not have been anything except wonderful with your presence. Even my brother thinks you are charming.”

“Loki finds me charming? That’s quite the compliment.” I was surprised that Loki had said anything to Thor, and equally surprised to have Thor relay the comment.

“Loki is not a warrior. He’s a magician, and a scholar. He prefers a to spend time with those who think and speak with care. He does not do well with idle chatter.” Thor paused.

“I am glad you are a women of strong intelligence and good sense, Sia.”

“Thank you, Thor. You are kind to say so.” I felt confused. Where was this going?

“You haven’t spent much time with Loki, Sia. I know you have done your research, and you know the legends, but that is not the same as knowing _him_. Some of the legends are true, others are mere tales. He’s much more complex. Even I don’t really understand him, and he’s my brother. Mother is really the only one who can manage him.”

“Thor, please speak plainly. I am uncertain what you are trying to say.”

“Sia, Loki can be quite charming when he wishes. He’s not called ‘Silver Tongue’ for no reason. If he decided to take an interest in you—I fear it would not be good for you. I wish to warn you, that is all. He is my brother, but I know how he can be. And I do not want him to be that way with you.” Thor looked pained at having to speak of his brother in such a way, and pained for having to have this conversation with me.

“Thor, I appreciate your concern. I doubt that, despite his compliment of yesterday, Loki really bothers about my existence. He seems much more interested in matters of state, and in his magic, to be bothered to think about a mere mortal of Midgard. I am certain that, should Loki desire female companionship, he would not lack for choice. And I am certain that I would not be one of those choices.” I sipped my coffee.

“Sia, I am sorry we are even talking about this. I just do not want to see you hurt, and I know my brother too well in these matters.”

“Thor, please set your mind at ease. I do not imagine, even for an instant, that your brother was being anything other than polite with his compliment.”

“Thank you, Sia. I knew you were not the sort to be tempted by Loki. But Father is concerned, and so I am concerned. Thank you for setting my mind at ease.” Thor smiled.

“Thank you, Thor, and thank the Allfather. I understand the concern, but please be assured that I am much too old to be pulled into those sorts of games at this point in my life.”

“You are not too old, Sia. You are too smart!” Thor smiled over his coffee.

“Now, who’s being charming?” I laughed, and Thor joined in.

We finished our meal with pleasant, inconsequential conversation.

Thor stood to take his leave. “Sia, I must look after the horses and men. The snow is early, and I need to make sure everything is taken care of.”

“Snow, Thor? So early in the season?” I was perplexed.

“Yes, Sia. It’s never snowed so close after the harvest before.” He pulled aside the curtains, and I drew closer to see.

What I saw was a landscape that would have made Currier and Ives proud. A deep blanket of pure white snow masked the familiar landscape, turning it into a new world.

“Thor, does it always snow this much once winter comes?”

“It does snow, Sia, but not usually this much. Or this early.” He let the curtain fall back over the glass.

“Thank you for checking on me, Thor. Do take care of yourself today—you don’t want to catch cold, either!”

“I am well, Sia, and will be even better once I have ensured the well-being of the troops.” He bowed.

“Ring for whatever you need, Sia. Mother said she can send one of the other ladies to help you dress.”

“Thank you, Thor. Stay warm!”

“I will see you later, Sia!”

He strode through the door, and off into the day. I closed the door, and returned to the fire to think.

The conversation with Thor left me confused. What else had Loki said to him to make him feel he needed to warn me about Loki? One generic compliment on my charm would not have been enough to cause Odin to send Thor to me with a warning. What was going on? Who could I ask, and expect to receive an honest answer?

Perhaps Loki felt he had to be charming to persuade me to the work. Perhaps it was just his habit of being—charming people into doing what he wants them to do, instead of simply asking.

Loki had said I was an exceptional scholar, and had asked me to become the guardian of the Asgard stories. That had nothing to do with my being charming, and everything to do with Loki’s desire for a legacy, for his legend to endure. I happened to have the tools necessary for the job—it wasn’t about me at all. I had started to believe that perhaps Loki did see me as a possible friend, or at least a library companion, but I realized those were just kind words to convince me to do the work he wished to have done.

Too many ideas swirled around in my head to sort out in my exhausted state. I decided to go back to bed.

 


	11. A Visit from Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki visits Sia to inquire as to her health, all very polite and princely, and makes a personal request of her. Refusal would be prudent, but agreement could prove much more interesting.
> 
> Suggested music: "In Fortune's Hand" by Clannad. https://youtu.be/bpq15UjoA44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone wrote in, objecting that there was no Loki in the prior chapter. To which I say, “Don’t be so sure of that.”

* * *

I had expected to take a short nap, and then spend the afternoon reading.

I awoke just before sunset.

I rang for Sóldís — or, rather, whoever was taking care of me for the day— and opened the curtains. The fading light stained the snow with the colors of flame, as though the snow were burning. I watched the light dim, transforming the burning snow to dark blue shapes, then dim, imperceptible mounds. The moon would not be up for a while yet, and the faint starlight did little to illuminate the scenery.

A knock on the door, and it carefully opened. A pale young redheaded girl entered the room, followed by Erik, who seemed just as unnerved as he had been the prior evening.

“Lady Sia, as you requested, we have brought food and wine.”

“Thank you—“ I realized I did not know her name.

“Margot, Lady Sia. And this is Erik.” Erik made another attempt at a bow.

“Thank you, Margot. I appreciate your care.”

“Will there by anything else, Lady Sia?” Margot was clearly anxious. I attributed it to the fact that she was unnerved at having to deal with a mortal.

“This is perfect, Margot. I will ring if I need anything else. My thanks to you and Erik.”

Margot made a short curtsey, and she and Erik practically fled the room.

I poured some mulled wine and plucked a piece of bread from the fresh loaf. I returned to my chair in front of the fire, and sat down to think.

Poor Berthe, indeed. A young girl looking for love and companionship, and finding herself pregnant and alone. I was disappointed in Loki. Except that was judging him by mortal standards, which most certainly did not apply. Nonetheless, I felt sorry for Berthe. I imagined the two of them in deep conversation over books in the library, her delight in their growing closeness, then her devastation at being abandoned. Her life had not been easy before this, and certainly had become no easier.

 _Why do I care so much about Loki’s failed romance?_ It’s not as though I harbored any illusions that he’d ever be interested in me. I was a scholar, and a mortal of Midgard, and thus useful in a way Berthe was not. I was useful, Loki was content to make use of my mortal condition, and that was that. For me to think he meant anything else he said was delusional, and I most certainly was not the kind of person prone to delusion. I had worked through all of that with the collapse of my marriage, years ago, and it was well behind me.

Wanting to clear my mind, I pulled out my Tarot cards, unwrapped them, and began to shuffle.

A knock on the door broke into my thoughts.

I was certain I’d told Margot that I would ring if I required anything further, but perhaps she felt she had to check on me, or Thor had instructed her to do so.

I rose, unlocked the door, and opened it to find Loki standing there, pale and agitated.

“Lady Sia, I apologize. I know you have been unwell, and I have been concerned.”

“Thank you, Prince Loki. I am feeling better.”

Loki stared at me.

“Lady Sia, may I enter? If it’s not too much of an intrusion?” This was not the cool god of the banquet, or the confident prince from the picnic.

“Of course, Prince Loki. Please come in. I am sorry, I am still not quite myself.”

We sat in front of the fire. “Please, help yourself to the wine, if you wish, Prince Loki.”

“Thank you, Lady Sia.” He absently poured some wine into his goblet, and stared into the fire.

He turned to me, and his glance fell on the cards. ‘You divine, Lady Sia?”

“Yes, Prince Loki, I do. I find the cards quite helpful in gaining insight into a situation, and perspective on dealing with it so to avoid being overwhelmed.”

“Are you feeling overwhelmed, Lady Sia?” Loki looked at me with concern.

“Prince Loki, this has been the most amazing week of my life. I’m conducting research in an ancient library on another planet. I had a picnic with two princes who just happen to be gods. It is rather overwhelming.”

“But you are not unhappy? We have not caused you distress?” Loki seemed truly concerned.

“Not unhappy at all! Just trying to assimilate everything. There’s rather a lot. I know it’s old hat for you, being the great traveler of the Universe that you are, but for a mortal like me, it’s a bit more to process.”

Loki smiled. “As long as you are not unhappy, Sia.”

“Not at all, Loki. Even catching cold hasn’t been particularly bad; it’s cleared up surprisingly fast.”

“I am pleased you are feeling better. I felt so awful when Mother said you were ill. I wanted to check on you, but she said that disturbing your rest wouldn’t help. So I waited as long a I could bear to wait.”

“Thank you, Loki. You are very kind to be so worried.”

“We can’t have people thinking that Asgard does not take care of its guests.”

“Oh—your cloak! Thank you for covering me. I hadn’t expected to fall asleep, and I hadn’t expected it would get cold. You were kind to let me use it. I should return it.”

I jumped up to retrieve it, and stopped. I realized I hadn’t seen it since Saturday night, when Thor helped me down from my horse. The cloak had caught on the pommel, and Thor unhooked it so I could step free.

“I—I’m sorry, Loki. I don’t actually know where it is. I remember Thor helping me to dismount, but I don’t remember much after. I hope it’s not lost.”

“Sóldís returned it to me Saturday night, Sia. Do not worry.” Loki smiled. “I’m glad it kept you warm. I’m sorry it could not keep you well. I should have put some magic on it for you.”

_Wait. Sóldís didn’t know that Loki had let me use his cloak. She’d have known that if she returned it to him._

_Maybe she hadn’t realized it was his until after I’d said something, and she took it upon herself to return it_.

“What was that, Sia? I’m sorry, it was a bit indistinct.”

“Just reminding myself to thank Sóldís for taking care of it, Loki. I was afraid it was lost.”

Shields up, Sia! Silver Tongue can read your mind.

I breathed, and surrounded myself with white light.

“Not to worry, Sia. Even if it were lost, it’s only a cloak. I could have another made. Fortunately, it has been returned to me, and bears not another moment of thought.”

Relieved, I sat down in the chair again, and picked up my goblet.

Loki gestured to the cards. “May I?”

“If you wish. Do you read Tarot?” Another topic I felt comfortable discussing. I started to relax.

“Read? Me?” Loki laughed. “No, Sia, I am not a diviner with cards. I have other methods to foretell the future.”

“So I have heard. The legends are full of such tales.”

“I must say, I”m surprised to find you with them. Fortune telling isn’t very—academic, from what I understand.”

I bristled. “I’m not a fortune teller, Loki. I told you—the cards are a tool. I divine to find ways to solve problems and move forward. It’s not about predicting the future, it’s about how to create the future you want.”

“So you use the cards to tell the gods what to do?” Loki stared at me, incredulity on his face. “Brave mortal!”

“It’s not like that, either, Loki!” I made no attempt to hide the exasperation in my voice. “The cards provide insight into what is really going on in the situation, and offer an opportunity to explore different paths forward, so you can make better choices about how to move towards your goals.”

“I beg your pardon, Sia. I’ve never heard of anyone working with an oracle in such a way. We’re much more into predestination, and how to bear it gracefully—or dramatically. It must be one of those Asgard/Midgard things.”

“I don’t do predictions, Loki. I don’t believe in predestination. We all have the power to choose. The cards can help you make a good choice.”

“But as an archetype, Sia, am I not bound to behave in accordance with my nature, regardless of what else I might wish to choose?” Loki turned my argument from Thursday night around to me.

“Loki, I read for humans, not gods. It’s different.”

“Read for me, Sia.” Loki looked me in the eyes. This was not a request.

“Loki, you just told me why I can’t read for you.”

“Read for me as though I were a mortal, Sia. I am curious.” His eyes remained locked on mine.

_This feels dangerous. Why is he here?_

“Please, Sia. I should like it very much if you would read for me.” His eyes softened. “You can pretend I am one of your mortal friends, looking to you for advice.”

Why not? Saying “no” would gain me nothing; saying “yes” might gain me some answers to my own questions.

“Alright, Loki, I will read for you. But, you have to promise not to manipulate the cards. And you have to promise not to become angry at anything I might say. The cards speak quite plainly at times, and I see no reason to sugarcoat their message. So if it’s unpleasant, remember you asked for it.”

Loki nodded. “Tell me what to do.”

“First, focus on your question or situation. The more specific you can be about it, the more useful the answer from the cards will be.”

He nodded.

“Pick up the cards, and shuffle them any way you like, still thinking about your situation or question. Shuffle until you feel the cards are completely mixed, and then we’ll pull a few and see what they have to say.”

Loki held the cards, and began shuffling. A flick of his wrist, and they all floated upwards, continuing to shuffle themselves.

 _I’ve never had anyone shuffle quite that way before._ I watched the cards swirl in the air.

 _You’ve never read for a god before._ Loki smiled at me.

The cards floated back down to the table, and assembled themselves into a tidy pile in front of me.

“Like that?” Loki inquired, grinning.

“Perfect, thank you.” I couldn’t resist smiling back.

I fanned the cards across the table.

“You can tell me your question, or not, as you wish. I don’t have to know the question to do the reading, but it can help.”

“I’ll withhold the question for now, Sia.”

I took a deep breath. “Then, pull a card from anywhere in the deck. This represents you, where you are right now. That’s the only place we can start.”

Loki drew a card, and set it in front of me. I turned it over.

The Magician.

 _The cards have a sense of humor tonight_.

“The Magician is a Major Arcana card, an archetype. He is about creativity, possibility, potential. He has the tools necessary to do what must be done, but sometimes there is a question as to whether he knows that that is.”

Loki nodded. “Go on.”

“It suggests the need for focus on the ultimate goal, so that you are clear about what you are working toward. You have what you need to reach that goal, but you have to be clear about what it is you really want.”

“I see. What’s next?”

“Pull a card to represent the obstacle in the situation. It may be something you’re aware of, or something unexpected.”

Loki drew a second card, and handed it to me.

The Knight of Swords.

“The Knight is a minor arcana card, so more likely an actual person or an element of yourself. Swords represent the element of air, and the qualities of logic, intellect, and reason. The Knights are the element of fire, so this card is fire in the suit of air. A lot of thinking, a lot of mental energy, perhaps even a lot of activity—but again, a need for clarity, for focus, for being clear on what you are working towards. This is the fastest card in the deck, so it’s an encouragement towards action, and at the same time, a caution against rash and reckless behavior.”

Loki smiled. “Oh, that’s never a concern for me! I am the soul of reason!”

“Of course you are, Loki.” I gave him my sweetest smile, knowing he would see right through it. “Now, draw another card, and this represents who or what can help you overcome the obstacle.”

Loki handed me the third card.

The Empress. Another Major Arcana card. Interesting.

“What does this suggest to you, Loki?”

“There can be no doubt—she represents my mother, of course. Who else could it possibly be?”

“Very likely, given the card. But think like a man, not a prince. Your mother wouldn’t be a queen. Who else might this be?”

“She’s the card of motherhood, so I’d still say it’s Frigga.”

I decided to push a bit. “What if this was Laufey, your birth mother? What might she have to say to you?”

Loki sat back, and looked at me. “Laufey would likely agree with whatever Frigga has to say to me. Having two mothers is—complicated.”

I nodded. “As this card represents a mother figure, I’d say that, whatever the question is, you would do well to consult with one or both of your mothers before taking action.”

“Well, that’s not exactly news, is it? The cards are saying that I might not be on track, and that I should ask my mother for advice.” He seemed bitter.

“We’re not done, yet, Loki. Pull another card. This is the way forward—not a prediction, but a suggestion about how to move forward in the direction that’s right for you. It’s often a new idea or way of looking at things you hadn’t considered before.”

Loki chose a final card, and I turned it over.

The Star.

“The Star is a Major Arcana card, just like the Magician and the Empress. It, too, is an archetype. The Star speaks of hope, inspiration, peace, and healing.”

Loki looked at me. “As if I knew how to find any peace!”

“The card suggests that you do, Loki. That you have someone or something that embodies this for you, and that you can absorb those lessons and incorporate those qualities into yourself.”

“I admire the card’s confidence in me. Would that it were so.” The bitterness in his voice pierced his calm facade.

“Is that all?” He was clearly disappointed in the reading, dissatisfied with the cards’ message.

“Usually, yes. But go ahead and pull a clarification card— a card to help you find out how to identify this person or develop this quality for yourself.”

Queen of Wands. I wondered if Berthe matched the fiery-haired figure on this card.

“Another person, likely a woman. A woman of great power, strong creativity, quick wit. Someone you may underestimate, who will surprise you in the ways she can help you.”

Loki looked at the card, and said nothing.

“Think of a powerful woman in your life. This could simply be a reiteration of the previous advice to consult with your mother, or it could suggest someone else—an aunt, a teacher, someone like that. Someone who has wisdom you can learn from, and who will teach you—if you allow yourself to be taught.”

“I don’t think it’s Frigga or Laufey, since we already have the Empress card. But I can’t think of who else it might be.”

“Maybe one of your wives, or a lover, even.” I focused on the card, avoiding his eyes.

“I’ve not seen Angrboda in a while. Skadi and I did not marry. There’s no one else. I need no complications in my life.”

I exhaled. He really has cut Berthe entirely from his reality. I also wondered about Sigyn, but that was a conversation for another time.

“It might not occur to you right away. Give it some time, let it process at the back of your mind. It will come to you. If not, we can pull more cards after some time has passed.”

Loki stared at the cards, as if willing them to speak.

“Anything else about these cards, Loki?”

“No, Lady Sia. Thank you for the reading.”

I picked up on the sudden return of his formal tone.

He stood. “I didn’t mean to stay, or to tax your energy. I should go, and let you rest.”

“Reading for you was my pleasure, Prince Loki. I am sorry you did not find it more helpful.”

“The reading was fine, Lady Sia. The real problem is that you are reading for a god, not a man, so the same rules do not apply. I do appreciate your time, and hope you know that my gratitude is genuine.”

“You are most welcome, my Prince.”

“Goodnight, Lady Sia.”

“Goodnight, Prince Loki.” I reverenced.

Loki made a small bow in return, and saw himself out.

I locked the door. I was exhausted. Leaving the rest of the food untouched, I took the candle and retired to the bedchamber. Monday would start soon enough, and I wanted to be well enough to resume my work in the library. Tomorrow would be the halfway point of my visit, and I was nowhere near halfway through the library.

 


	12. Questions and Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday: Sia returns to the library, and things return to normal. Until Loki returns in the evening to discuss the Tarot reading.
> 
> Suggested music: "Her Eyes are Closing", from the soundtrack to "Dangerous Liaisons", composed by George Fenton. https://youtu.be/Qmm5yjOSBPQ

* * *

Sóldís appeared at her usual time. Erik delivered the coffee tray, bowed, and silently took his leave.

Sóldís poured coffee, then parked me at the dressing table.

“How are you feeling today, Sóldís?” I was happy to have her back.

“I’m fine, Lady Sia, Thank you.” She answered somewhat absently, concentrating on taming my hair.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me, Sóldís. You were very kind to sit up with me so late on Saturday night, and then get up early to bring me breakfast on Sunday. I am glad you allowed yourself to rest the remainder of the day.”

“You are welcome, Lady Sia. My job is to take care of you. And Margot was happy to take care of you on Sunday.”

It had seemed plenty late to me. Perhaps she has raised children, so being up all night with someone who is unwell is not a challenge for her.

“It was fortunate that you set the table for two. Prince Thor came by to check on me, and stayed for breakfast.”

Sóldís paused in her braiding, and looked at me in the mirror. “Lady Sia, I did not know you would have company. I instructed Margot to set breakfast for one.”

“Oh, no, Sóldís! There were two places set, and enough coffee and food for two.”

Sóldís shook her head. “Well, I was tired. Perhaps I did set for two. I must have made a lucky guess about Prince Thor joining you that morning.”

“You are so good at what you do, Sóldís!” I smiled brightly at her in the mirror.

“Thank you, my lady.” She resumed braiding my hair, focusing on her work. 

I stared into the mirror, and wondered what had really happened. Sóldís would not have forgotten about setting an extra place at the table. Thor had said he had seen Sóldís in the hallway outside my chamber.

An answer formed in the back of my mind. An answer that made me quite nervous.

* * *

Returning to the library created a sense of homecoming. So much had happened since I’d last been here, but it had been only two days. I was glad to be safely among the books, away from princes and schemes and fever dreams.

Another stack of books was waiting for me on the work table. Another linen card was just visible at the edge of the top book in the stack.  


_Dear Lady Sia:_

_I hope you are feeling better today. These may prove relevant to our earlier discussion._

_L._

 

The angular handwriting was an intriguing form, almost abstract art of its own design. I wondered what a graphologist would make of it. Perhaps, for fun, I would have it analyzed when I returned to Midgard.

The reminder that I had only one week left to complete my work pulled me back to the present moment. I sat down at the table, uncapped my pen, and opened the first book.

I barely noticed when Sóldís and Erik arrived at 1:00, and then again at 4:00. I took a short break both times to graze, but the ticking of the clock weighed heavily on me, and I did not want to spend any time away from the books.

I set down my pen to pick up the next book, and watched as the pen rolled off the edge of the table and land with a quiet thud on the carpet. Grateful for the deep pile cradling the pen, I dove under the table to retrieve the pen. I noticed that the work table actually had a drawer on the other side. I picked up the pen, crawled out from under the table, and went to the other side.

_This isn’t really my desk. I shouldn’t pry._

_But no one else uses it. The drawer is likely empty._

I took a deep breath, opened the drawer, and saw a book. I quickly pulled out the book, and closed the drawer.

Returning to my chair, I examined the book. Leather-bound and embossed, like all the other books in the library, and bearing the title “The History of that Most Noble Vegetable, The Turnip, With Illustrations, Volume III.” I tried to imagine who would write a three volume illustrated history of a root vegetable, and why this volume was hidden away.

Out of curiosity at finding such an unusual volume in the royal library, I opened the book, and a plain linen card fell out.

I took a deep breath, and turned over the card to read it.

 

_L:_

_Thank you. I cannot tell you how much this means to me. Protecting Siegfried is all that matters to me now. I shall miss our talks, and I hope you find a friend who can remain at your side._

_B._

 

I had no doubt as to the identities of “L” and “B”. But who is Siegfried?

_The father of Berthe’s child._

But who is he? Why does he need to be protected? Why is it better for Berthe to be the Prince’s discarded mistress than to publicly declare the father of her child?

_Because Siegfried is married to someone else._

_Sometimes, Sia, you are a genius._

It was perfect. Berthe needs to disguise the identity of the real father of her child. Who better to blame than Loki?

Brilliant.

Berthe must have made quite the impression for Loki to agreeing to participate in such a ruse for her.

_You are plenty smart, Sia. But you are mortal. And even if you were not, you have no time for this._

Right. Back to work.

I tucked the note into my bag, and set the book back on the table. The book could be re-shelved, and the note should definitely not be left in it for someone else to find.

I picked up the next book in my stack, and resumed work.

* * *

Sóldís and Erik had brought tea and soup to my suite. I was too tired to do more, and certainly was not up for being a lively guest at table. I assured Sóldís that I was happy to see her, happy that she was feeling better, and that truly, I required nothing further. She withdrew reluctantly, followed by Erik.

I drank the tea, grateful for the quiet surrounding me.

Mentally exhausted from the long day, I decided to meditate to quiet my brain and restore some internal balance. I pulled one of the candles onto the table, focused my eyes on it, and began my breathing routine.

Breathing, focusing on the candle, I allowed my mind to empty itself of thought, to release the whirl of ideas and information which filled it, to become still.

Continuing to look at the candle, I willed the flame to rise and fall with my breathing. Slow, slow, fast, slow, slow, fast, fast, slow.

“That’s impressive, Sia. Where did you learn to do that?”

I jumped at the sound of Loki’s voice—out of my skin, then out of my chair.

“Prince Loki! How did you get in here? Why didn’t you knock?” I was confused, certain I’d locked the door.

“I did knock, Sia, but you didn’t answer. Knowing that you’ve been ill, I was concerned, so I let myself in.The door was unlocked, so I didn’t think you would mind.” Loki’s voice was soothing and smooth.

“I—I thought I’d locked it when Sóldís left.” I was sure I had locked it. What if Loki had a key? That would be . . . disconcerting.

“I promise you, Sia, I used no magic. The door was unlocked.” Loki looked at me, worry in his eyes.

“Thank you for the reassurance, Prince Loki.” I sat down, and tried to steady my breath. I did not feel reassured, not in the slightest.

“You are welcome, Sia. I would never intrude on you.” Loki gestured at the other chair. “May I?”

“Please. Be comfortable.” My breath was calm and even, allowing my voice to be calm and even, even if that was not what I was feeling.

“Sia, really—where did you learn to do that? I’ve never met a Midgardian who did such things.” A bit of a smile played about his lips.

“I taught myself. One day when I was meditating, I just started doing it. So now it’s part of my practice.” I’d never really thought about it before.

“Sia, what magic do you practice?” Loki leaned forward.

“I don’t practice magic, Prince Loki. I meditate. I breathe. But I don’t practice magic the way it’s done in Asgard.” I was the least magical person I knew. “I have friends who are ceremonial magicians, who do spells and incantations. But that’s not my thing.”

“But Sia, you obviously have _some_ magic—or you couldn’t make the candle flame follow your breath.” Loki was smiling.

“If you say so, Loki. It’s just meditation.”

“Sia, you move the flame with your mind. That’s magic. Basic magic, but magic nonetheless.”

I looked at him. It hadn’t really occurred to me. It was just something I did.

“Sia, I can teach you more. As a mortal, you can not do all a god can do. But I can teach you how to use the powers you have.” Loki looked at me with a peculiar intensity.

I held my breath. _Loki is offering to teach me magic_.

“I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t think you could do it.”

I sat up straighter. “Very well, then, Loki. I wish to learn magic from you.” _Why not? How often will I have this chance?_

“Excellent, Sia. First, do whatever you were doing when you were moving the candle flame. When you start moving it again, I’ll talk you through the next task.”

I closed my eyes, started the breath cycle, and began to quiet my mind.

I opened my eyes, and began moving the candle flame.

“Good start, Sia. Now, I want you to shape the flame as well as making it taller. Put it into the shape of a triangle.” Loki’s voice came from behind me. I couldn’t see him, but I could sense him.

I focused on the flame, imposing the outline of a triangle on it. I saw the triangle rise as the flame filled it, then contract as the flame fell when I exhaled.

“Well done, Sia! Keep doing that. Keep the flame in the triangle, and make it taller with each breath. Don’t let it contract; keep it steady, then larger each time.”

I returned to my breathing, and focusing on the flame. With each inhalation, it rose higher as a triangle; with each exhalation, it kept its size.

“Now, invert the triangle, and keep it the same size.”

I inverted the triangle, and kept breathing.

_I’m doing this. I’m actually doing this!_

“Good, Sia. Now, close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes. I sensed Loki moving.

“Now, open your eyes, and look at the fire.”

Loki had placed the candle on the hearth. The candle flame was still burning as an inverted triangle.

“Merge the candle flame with the fire, and make the fire the same size and shape.”

I hesitated. A candle flame was one thing, but a whole fire? Well, why not?

I focused on the candle, and pulled the flame from the wick and floated it into the fireplace.

So far, so good.

Fitting the fire into the candle flame was more of a challenge than I expected. I fit one side in, and it leapt out the top. I quickly pulled it back down to avoid lighting the chimney on fire.

“Relax. Breathe. Try again.” Loki’s voice was even, but filled with excitement.

Keeping the candle flame floating in front of the fire, I tried again. Bit by bit, the fire fit into the inverted triangle of the free-floating candle flame.

“Are you well, Sia? Do you want to try more? We can stop if you are tiring.” Loki’s encouragement was palpable.

“Loki, let’s keep going!” _I am learning magic. I can move flame._

“Float the flame to the candle on the mantle, and light it.”

I found it quite easy to do so.

“Good. Now, keep that candle lit, and move the fire back to the fireplace and restore it to its original size.”

_Split attention. Okay. I can do this._

I saw the fire from the fireplace in the candle flame. I created an upright triangle next to the candle, and moved the fire into it, then moved the triangle back to the fireplace. The fire sprang up almost instantly.

“Well done, Sia!” Loki exclaimed with genuine admiration. “Well done!”

I released the fire back to the fireplace, and floated the empty triangle to the hearth, setting it gently on the stones.

I sat back in my chair, and closed my eyes. So exhilarating! So exhausting!

When I opened my eyes, Loki was in the other chair, regarding me with curiosity and—something. Pride? Glee?

“Sia, that was amazing. You just did in a few minutes what takes many people months to master.”

“Oh. Really?” I blinked. How could that be?

“Really, Sia. I’ve never seen anyone move through those steps so quickly.”

“Thank you for showing me, Loki. That was quite a surprise.”

“Sia, you have a talent. I would like to see you develop it.”

“Thank you, Loki. I would like to learn more.”

“I would willingly teach you, Sia. It would be my pleasure.” No cooing, no crooning—just a statement of fact.

“Thank you, Loki. I would willingly learn from you.”

We both regarded the fire, and the triangle floating in front of it.

“Let the triangle go, Sia. It has done its work for tonight.”

I exhaled, and the triangle on the hearth shimmered and disappeared.

We sat in silence, watching the flames dance.

“Loki, why did you come here tonight?” I remembered that we hadn’t actually talked about why he was here. He couldn’t have had any idea that he would end up teaching me fire magic.

“I was worried, Sia, knowing you had been ill. I wanted to see if you needed anything.” Loki stared into the fire, avoiding my gaze.

“Loki, was that really it? Or is there something else? I was at the library today, you know I am well now.”

Loki paused. “Sia, I have been thinking all day about the reading you did for me last night. I was hoping we could talk about it.”

“Yes, we can talk about it.” I stiffened. _The reading is about him, Sia. Not about you. Let it go._

“The Star card, followed by the Queen of Wands. The one I said I did not know who it might represent.” Loki continued staring at the fire, not looking at me.

“Yes? Have you figured out who she might be?”

“I hadn’t, and I was going to ask for a clarification card. But now, now I know.”

Loki turned.

“That’s you, Sia.”

My mind reeled. _Me?_ I caught my breath. The Star was indeed my soul card, the card representing my purpose in life. But not in this reading. It couldn’t be me.

“Yes, Sia. You. You saw what you did with the flame. You moved it as you breathed in— _inspiration_ —and also hope and healing, yes?”

I tried to focus on breathing, to still my mind.

“The Queen of Wands—is she not the Queen of fire? And did you not just do fire magic?”

“So it must be you.”

_Breathe, Sia. Breathe._

“I am flattered, Loki. But the Star is about deep healing, a soul healer—“

“Last night, after you read for me, I retired to my chamber, expecting my usual sleepless night. But I fell asleep easily, and dreamed of a blue-eyed swan, flying among the stars.”

“The Star is you, Sia.”

I could feel my heart pounding wildly under my robes, defying my efforts to calm myself.

“Loki, you ask a great deal of me. I am only a mortal woman.” _He needs a goddess, he needs a miracle. I’m not either of those things._

“Sia, you are! You may be in mortal form, but no mere mortal could do what you did tonight—not with such ease, not with such speed!”

Loki rose from his chair, and began pacing in front of the hearth.

“Sia, I wish to speak openly. Plainly. No gilding, no poetry. Just—words.”

I nodded, still trying to breathe, still trying to calm myself.

“Sia, I know you are mortal. I know that, compared to mine, your life will be short.”

I nodded. The subject of mortality had become a running theme of my visit to Asgard.

“But you are unlike any mortal I’ve ever met. And unlike most of the other kinds I have met in my travels through the Realms.”

He paused in his pacing. “Growing up a prince, I had only one friend, Sia. My brother, Thor. But it has been a while—centuries—since he and I could be truly close.”

I nodded.

“Sia, I may be a god, but even gods need companions.” The loneliness in his eyes was an ocean of need.

“Sia, you are intelligent. You are also clever. And you are kind.” Loki bowed his head, took a breath, and looked up again, directly into my eyes.

“I should like it very much if you might be my friend.”

_Friend? Well, Sia, what were you expecting?_

“Your friend, Loki? I will do my best, but I am uncertain how to be a friend to a god.” I felt myself return to my body, solid and bound by gravity.

“Simply be yourself, Sia. Allow me to spend time with you. Not as Prince Loki and my brother’s guest, but simply Loki and Sia.” His eyes were wet.

“We could talk about books. I could teach you magic. We could drink wine.” His eyes were soft, his face open, expressing the vulnerability of his heart.

“Loki, thank you. I would like that. I will be your friend, and do my best to be a good friend.” I rose.

“Thank you, Sia.” Loki stepped closer, then swept me into an embrace.

Countless years, centuries of pain and loneliness washed over me. I thought of water, letting it flow through me, so it did not become part of me. So much heartache, more than a mortal body could hold.

Loki held me as the feelings continued to move through me. I caught flashes of events, fragments of conversations, moments out of his life, all going by at light speed, lingering, passing through me, and then moving on.

I held him, and let him hold me. All the lonely days and nights I’d spent in my life were nothing compared to the years of solitude he had experienced.

The last of the images flowed through me, and the room was still.

“Thank you, Sia.” Loki relaxed, and pulled back a bit.

“Thank you, Loki.” I stepped back as well.

“It’s late. I should let you rest.” Loki withdrew more into himself.

“It’s late, but I don’t mind.” _Don’t pull away. Let me be your friend. Let yourself be free here._

“Thank you, Sia. For the reading. For the conversation. For everything.” His smile was genuine, his eyes still soft.

“If I stay, neither of us will rest, Sia. We will talk until dawn! I want you to be fully well! But perhaps—perhaps tomorrow night I could visit for a while?” He looked at me with eyes full of hope.

“I would like that, Loki. We can drink wine, and talk about books.” I smiled with all the warmth in my heart.

“Thank you, Sia. That will be lovely.”

“I will see you tomorrow night, Loki.”

“Thank you, Sia.” Loki leaned close, and kissed me on the forehead.

“Goodnight, my friend.” He smiled down at me.

“Goodnight, my friend.” I returned the smile.

He turned and left the room.

I fell into a chair and cried. That much pain, sorrow, and grief was more than one person could bear in several lifetimes. I had to let it out so it would not become my pain.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have not seen it, I highly recommend watching “Les Liaisons Dangereuses”, the 1988 version with Glenn Close and John Malkovich. Better yet, read the book. Watch Malkovich closely during the Vicomte de Valmont’s encounters with Madame de Tourvel during the visit to Madame du Rosemonde’s estate. Those were my inspiration for the last scene in this chapter. Except that, unlike the Vicomte, Prince Loki is not a narcissistic psychopath.


	13. A Promise Kept, and a Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Sia's surprise, Loki returns to discuss books and drink wine, as he promised the previous day. 
> 
> As with all promises from the Silver-Tongued one, there's also a surprise.
> 
> Suggested music: "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse. https://youtu.be/R8OOWcsFj0U

* * *

I woke the next morning, pulled on my robe and slippers, and went to the window. Opening the curtains, I was taken aback by the bright sunshine and the gold and brown fields.

The snow was gone. Overnight. As if it had been swept away by giants.

An image of Frost Giants with industrial vacuums pulling up all the snow flashed across my mind.

I decided I needed coffee.

I rang, and within two minutes, Sóldís appeared with a coffee tray carried by Erik. He bowed, and took his leave.

I sipped as she performed her usual magic and made me presentable by Asgardian standards.

Then we were off to the Blue Salon for breakfast.

* * *

Thor sat alone at the table set for five.

“Sia! Good morning!” Thor jumped up and kissed my cheek.

“Good morning, Thor!” I kissed his cheek in return.

“Sóldís, I am content here. Please retire and break your own fast.”

Sóldís curtsied. “As you wish, my lady! Enjoy your breakfast!”

“Are we up before everyone else?” I surveyed the empty places around the table.

“Not at all!” Thor laughed. “Father usually breaks his fast in private, and Mother with her ladies in her own salon.”

“Yet the table is always set for the four of you, even though it’s usually just you and Loki?” _Talk about protocol!_

“Yes, it is. And sometimes we all are here in the morning.” Thor thought. “Well, at least, we used to be. That hasn’t happened in a while.”

“And Loki really isn’t here all that often. He has been of late, but I think that’s just because he has someone other than me for company.” Thor’s eyes narrowed.

“Thor, I won’t pretend that Loki is easy to deal with. But he is your brother, and he does enjoy your company.”

Thor looked at me with a half-smile. “You sound like Mother. She often says the same.”

_Oh._ I was very glad that Thor could not read my mind the way Loki did. Or could he? I increased the white light around me.

“I would like to believe that, Sia. But I have not much evidence to support the hope.”

“I’m sorry, Thor. I wish it were otherwise.”

We ate in silence for several minutes.

Thor shook himself. “I apologize, Sia. I am failing in my duties as host to keep you entertained.”

“You have no need to apologize, Thor. I am enjoying sharing a quiet breakfast with you on such a lovely morning.”

I looked out the windows. The ground was wet from the melted snow, and the leaves of the trees were dark masses stirring ever so slightly in the wind.

“I should get to the library. The days are going so quickly, and I have barely made a start!”

Thor held my chair and helped me rise.

“Sia, you are intelligent! You will find exactly what you need here, and go home with everything required to finish your book.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence, Thor! I am doing my best.”

Thor gave me a hug, and strode off into his day.

I let that sink in for a minute, then took myself to the library.

* * *

“Sia! It’s almost eight o’clock! Surely your work for the day is complete?”

Thor stood in the door of the library, a slightly teasing grin on his face.

“Thor, my work here could never be complete, unless I could live long enough to read all of the books!”

We both laughed.

“However, I am hungry. I should ring for Sóldís.”

“Supper is set in the Red Salon, if you’d care to join me, Sia.”

I looked at my notebook, then back at Thor. I tried to tell myself I felt equal to the task of being a gracious guest of the King and Queen.

“It will just be the two of us, Sia.” Thor smiled reassuringly.

“Then, yes! I would greatly enjoy spending some time together.”

I rose, Thor took my arm, and off to the Red Salon we went.

* * *

“Your work goes well, Sia?”

“It does, Thor! The time is going so quickly, though. If I could just not sleep for the remaining days I am here, it would be perfect!”

Thor laughed. “Spoken like a true scholar!”

“I am grateful for Loki’s help with the books. He’s saving me so much time, finding exactly what I need.”

Thor’s face grew serious.

“Loki is helping you, Sia? How?” His voice was quiet.

“Each day, when I go to the library, I find a stack of books he has pulled for my work. They’re always the exactly right books, with the information I need. With Dagmar’s absence, I would be lost without Loki’s help with the books.”

Thor looked at me with intense worry written on his face. “He should not bother you while you are working, Sia.”

“I don’t see him, Thor. He must do it each evening after I leave the library. He does not intrude upon my time.”

“Sia, I am glad he is helpful. But please be careful. Remember our conversation on Sunday.”

“Yes, Thor. But it’s safe. I don’t see him.” _Well, except when he comes to my room each night. But let’s not talk about that._

“Sia, there is no such thing as ‘safe’ with my brother. If Loki wants something from you, he will use every trick at his disposal to get it.”

“Thor, I understand your concern. The only thing Loki wants from me is for his legend to be preserved accurately and in its entirety. That is his only interest in me.” I sipped my wine.

“I hope that is the case, Sia.” Thor seemed unconvinced.

“I am certain it is, Thor. And that’s not something he has to try to manipulate me to accomplish. That’s the whole point of my time here—to create a complete record of Asgard and its royal family. He is not asking anything I am not already doing, and he’s making it much easier for me to do.”

“Sia, again. I cannot emphasize enough how clever he is. You are not the first scholar to come here. And not all of them have fared well with Loki’s attentions turned on them.”

I held my breath. Perhaps I could learn more about Berthe.

“Well, it’s not as though he’s going to turn me into a frog, or something like that.” I tried to make light of the moment.

Thor looked around the room. Satisfied that we were the only ones present, he looked me directly in the eye.

“Sia, if he ever tells you he loves you, you must leave the room immediately. Do not listen to him, do not believe him.”

I stared, dumbfounded.

“Thor, I cannot imagine any circumstance in which Loki would say such a thing to me! I’m a mere mortal, and I’m already doing of my own volition everything that he could possibly want from me. He has no reason to manipulate me.” _I hope I am correct. I hope I sound more confident than I feel this moment._

“He doesn’t need a _reason_ , Sia. He does it because he can. Because, to him, it’s fun. He does not truly understand the effects it has on the lives of those he entices, and even if he did, I doubt it would stop him.”

“I have no doubt Loki could be damnably charming, should he choose. But I really don’t think I’m in any danger from him, Thor. There’s nothing he wants from me other than a well-preserved legend. What more could I possibly do for him?”

“Sia, I will speak plainly. You are mortal, yes, but you are intelligent and beautiful. You are exactly the kind of woman who is of interest to Loki.”

The room shimmered slightly. I took a deep breath. _He means well, Sia, but this isn’t real. Loki has made his feelings quite clear, and they are exclusively platonic_.

“Me? Of interest to Loki? Oh, Thor, you flatter me!” I laughed. “At my age? Not even Midgardian men consider me of possible interest. While I am not a crone, I’m no longer a dewy-eyed maiden with a legion of suitors outside my door. If I don’t attract the attention of mere men, how would I possibly be of interest to a god?”

“Sia, please listen. Loki will tell you what he thinks you want to hear in order to get what he wants you to do.”

How could I get him to talk about Berthe without letting on I know anything?

“I’m not a naive servant girl, fresh in from the countryside.”

“His charm works equally well on ladies of the court. And scholars. He has form in this regard.”

“Thor, there’s nothing in the legends. When did this happen? Why is it not in the books? It should be part of the history.” I attempted to be the coolly inquisitive researcher. My heart was pounding so hard I could barely breathe.

“It’s not part of the legend, Sia, because it is not a tale of old. It happened—is happening—now.”

Thor looked pained.

“You don’t have to tell me, Thor, if it’s too awkward.”

Thor took a deep breath. “Well, only one lady. But. There was a lady, Berthe, the youngest daughter of one of my father’s captains. She undertook to write a book. Father granted her full access to the library.”

“That was generous of him.”

“Father liked Berthe. She was one of the smartest people he had ever met, he said. And, of course, there’s no better way to curry favor than to flatter. Even Odin is susceptible, and Berthe can be quite charming when she chooses to be.”

I nodded.

“Loki began assisting her, much the same way he assists you, Sia. He pulled books for her, pointed out sources she would have been hard pressed to find on her own. He knows parts of the library even better than Dagmar does.”

“I see.”

“Loki spent a great deal of time with Berthe in the library. Day. And night. Now Berthe is with child, and Loki refuses to see her.” Thor exhaled.

“And you are certain that Loki is the father of the child?” _Oh, shut UP, Sia. No one but Loki and Berthe know otherwise. Well, Siegfried, whoever he is._

“Yes. There’s no one else it could be.” Thor sighed.

“And you are worried that he would try the same with me? To deceive me with words of love and soft promises, even though he has nothing to gain from me?”

“Sia, yes. To be honest, I am quite worried. I don’t want you hurt. Not ever. And especially not by Loki. Jane would never forgive me, and I would not forgive myself.”

I took a deep breath. “Thor, please don’t worry. Loki leaves me alone. He just leaves books on the desk for me. That’s all.”

Thor looked at me. “But if he decided he wanted more?”

I laughed. “Thor, I cannot imagine any scenario in which Loki would pay court to me, no matter how useful he might think it would be. And even if he did, I am well past all of that. I have no interest in that kind of complication.”

“But he could convince you otherwise, Sia. You know he’s called Silver Tongue for good reason.”

“Thor, I appreciate your concern. But this is so far out of the realm of possibility that it lies beyond all the arms of Yggdrasil. It’s so absurd, it’s simply not a reality worth considering. That’s like saying my grandfather was actually a Fire Giant.”

“Was he?” Thor was genuinely curious.

I laughed. “Oh, no! My grandfather was a perfectly normal mortal. See, that’s why this whole conversation is absurd. Fire Giants don’t go to Midgard and breed with mortals, and Loki doesn’t have any interest in me except as the author of his legend.”

Thor laughed. “Very well, Sia. But if Loki ever crosses that line, let me know. I’ll deal with him.”

‘Thank you, Thor. But I’ve no worries such will ever come to pass.”

We finished the meal with a more light-hearted conversation, and just after nine o’clock, Thor escorted me to my chamber.

* * *

I decided to undress myself. I was glad that Sóldís was feeling better and could attend me, but all I really wanted to do was change and spend some time with my journal in front of the fire. I needed some time to sort out all of the week’s events, and my thoughts. Today was only Tuesday, but the week was already plenty complicated.

Sóldís had left mulled wine on the table, and I was quite looking forward to some of that as well.

I had just set out my pens when someone knocked at the door.

I sighed. Sóldís meant well, but all I really wanted was some quiet time to myself.

I opened the door to see Loki.

“Sia! Dear friend!” He beamed.

“Loki! Do come in!” Despite my disappointment at having my work delayed, I was pleased to see him. I had figured his pretty speech of the night before was just that—a pretty speech—and he would not return tonight to drink wine and discuss books. Yet, here he was.

Thor’s warnings echoed at the back of my head. I visualized my grandfather—a humorless Methodist minister—as a Fire Giant, and laughed to myself. I knew I had nothing to worry about. Perhaps Loki really wanted me to be his friend, or perhaps he just wanted me to be an audience to hear his tales. Either way, I knew I was in no danger of being the object of his deeper desires.

We poured wine, and I took my chair by the fire. Loki began pacing.

“Sia, I have something remarkable to share with you.”

Well, that was quite the opening.

“I will hear it, Loki.”

“Sia, you have honored my by agreeing to be my friend. And even though that was just last night, so much is already different!”

Loki turned to me, his face filled with excitement.

“Last night, for the first time in I know not how long—years, centuries!—I slept the night through, slept peacefully, thanks to the healing work you did for me last night. No one else has ever evoked that kind of response from me that you did when I held you. I hadn’t expected to open to you like that, to share that part of myself with you. I always thought the pain would be too much, especially for a mortal. But you held it—held _me_ — and helped me release it.”

“I am glad I could help you, Loki. That is what friends do for each other.”

“That was more than friendship, Sia. You have a gift for healing.”

“If you say so, Loki. I just—all I did was hold you, and let you feel your feelings. You did all the work.”

“Sia, not at all! I let the feelings out. _You_ moved the energy, transformed it from pain to healing.”

I was confused. I didn’t think I’d done anything except let Loki hold onto me while he opened his memories.

“Sia, you _heard_ me. I know you did. As the memories flowed, it was like you were there, watching things happen, helping me make sense of them, make peace with them.”

“If I did, Loki, it was not a particular art. You were hurting, and as your friend, I wanted to help you. So I held you.”

“Sia, that was amazing. And I cannot thank you enough for what you did.”

“Knowing that you are happier and calmer is thanks enough.”

“But it’s not! Tonight I wish to thank you by sharing some positive memories. It’s not fair to bring you only my pain and sorrow and grief. I have had many times of love, of joy, of happiness, Sia. So, I thought, for tonight, I could think of those, and share those with you.”

“If that pleases you, Loki, of course I am happy to share in your happiness.” Why not? He was clearly in a good mood, and I was relieved not to go through another wash of pain such as he’d let loose last night.

Loki sat down on the divan. “Here, come sit next to me. It will be easier than standing.”

I rose, and set down my goblet. I crossed to the other side of the fire, and sat next to him on the divan.

Loki took my hands in his.

“Sia, this makes me so happy, just being here with you. Wine, and a fire, and just being here with my friend.” Loki’s smile was relaxed. If he was acting, he was doing a perfect job.

“Are you ready, Sia?” Loki could barely contain his excitement.

“Yes, Loki.”

“Good. Look into my eyes, and I’ll start.”

I took a deep breath, and looked into those emerald eyes.

Scenes of his childhood. Playing games with Thor. Sitting in Frigga’s lap as she read to him. Other events, other scenes flashed by. Learning to ride horses. Learning magic. His first time in the air with Thor after Thor learned to fly. Other scenes, other people I didn’t know, but always a sense of joy.

I let the scenes and feelings flow through me. I was filled, suffused with Loki’s joy, the precious moments of his life.

Then, a scene I recognized. The picnic on Saturday. The three of us talking, laughing.

Then, through Loki’s eyes, I was looking down at myself, my head resting on his shoulder, his arm around me, holding me as I fell asleep.

My heart raced, as I remembered my own happiness at feeling his arm around me in the warm afternoon.

Loki's voice was as soft and warm as the cloak he had wrapped me in. “Thank you, Sia.”

 “Thank you, Loki.” My own voice sounded far away.

Loki put his arm around me. I moved closer, and rested my head on his shoulder, just as we had on Saturday.

“Sia, you are a wonderful, special woman. I’ve never met another like you.”

_Oh, here it comes. I guess Thor was right. No problem. I can handle this._

“Thank you, Loki. You are kind to say so.”

Loki gently stroked my hair. “They’re not just words, Sia. I mean them. From my heart.”

_Sia, stop. Pull away. Get up and walk back to the chair._

I floated out of my body. I could see myself, leaning against him, calm and blissful.

“I believe you, Loki. Which is what makes the words so precious to hear.”

_Sia. Get UP._

“My friend, dear Sia. I am so glad you believe me.”

Loki continued stroking my hair.

_Sia. UP. NOW._

“I appreciate your trust in me, Loki.”

_Sia. MOVE._

Loki shifted so he could look at me directly. The green and gold pools of his eyes beckoned me.

“I would very much like it if you would trust me, Sia.”

_Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!_

“Loki, I—“

_I what? I should get up. Pull away. Move. Do something._

“Yes, Sia?”

I returned to my body with a jolt.

“Loki, we are friends, and that is amazing.”

“Yes, Sia, we are. And it is.”

_Sia, you are too old for this. You know better. Thor warned you. You promised him. You promised yourself. Get. UP._

“You do not have to pretend that I am more than that in order for me to do what I am already doing. I am content with our friendship, and happy to do the work you have asked me to do.”

“Sia, I am confident in your work, and grateful for it.”

His eyes called to me.

“And I am not pretending.”

I slid into his eyes. Swimming in the gold-flecked emerald waters of his emotions, warm and blissful.

“Loki, I wish to believe you.”

“Then believe me. Say yes.”

I was floating in the infinite depths of his eyes.

_Say yes to what? What was the question?_

“Loki, emotions are not the most reliable navigators. What we want is often not what we need.”

All I could see were his eyes, filling my mind with pure emerald light.

“When what you want is what you need, what is the problem?”

I knew there was something I should say, but couldn’t put together the words to make the thought.

I felt his hand on my cheek. “Then there is no problem, is there?”

“No, Loki, there isn’t.”

_SIA! Get UP!_

“So I ask you to trust me, and say yes.”

_SIA!_

“Yes, Loki. I will trust you. I say yes.”

“Good. In return for your trust, I swear I will make you the happiest woman in the Nine Realms.”

Loki leaned forward, and tenderly put his mouth on mine.

A kiss like honey, a kiss like fire.

All I could see were his eyes. I couldn’t breathe.

I felt his hands stroke my hair, caress my neck. All the while, kisses stealing my breath, firing my nerves.

Kisses all over my face, down my neck. Kisses on my mouth, again and again.

Loki rose, pulling me up with him.

“Come, Sia. Let us to bed.”

I nodded, and floated to the bedroom. Loki loosened my robe, and set me on the edge of the bed.

I reached up, caressing his face, his hair, allowing my hands to rest on the top fastener of his doublet. He smiled, and I opened it. And the next. And the next, until he was able to slip free from it.

More kisses, more caresses, more fasteners undone.

Lying face to face on the bed, firelight dancing across our bodies, across the room.

“Sia, you are exquisite.” Loki’s voice, soft and without artifice, rippled through my body, his hands sliding smoothly over my skin.

“I desire you, Sia. Will you have me?”

“Yes, Loki. I desire you. I will have you.”

* * *

Flooded with sweetness, consumed by fire. The chthonic depths of Yggdrasil’s roots, the stars shining over Asgard. The fire of Muspellheim, the ice of Niflheim. The song of the universe, the music of the spheres. All of this. Everything.

* * *

Lying face to face on the bed, firelight dancing across our bodies, across the room.

“I love you, Sia. Will you have me?”

“Yes, Loki. I love you. I will have you.”

* * *

Candles burning low, casting shadows to the ceiling. We fell asleep, a tangle of limbs, hair, and bed linens, Loki’s arms encircling me, my head on Loki’s chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart. His heart, beating for me, as mine beat for him.

 


	14. Thyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning. Sia deals with unexpected consequences, and having to pretend that nothing has changed, when, in fact, everything has changed.
> 
> Suggested music: "I Melt with You", The English Beat. https://youtu.be/LuN6gs0AJls

 

* * *

“My love.” Loki’s lips on my ear, murmuring softly. “My Sia.”

“My love.” I smiled as I spoke the words. “Loki, my love.”

Sweet kisses on my cheek, down my neck. “The hours have flown. I must leave you now. I will be back tonight.”

I opened my eyes. Oh, gods. What time is it? Sóldís will be here soon.

“I would be happy to see you at the library today, Loki.” Looking into his eyes, losing myself all over again in those green pools of light.

“Sia, I can not disturb your work.” Loki grinned at me. “And Odin has commanded my presence for the day.” Loki sighed.

“Ah. I see.” There was no ignoring that meeting request. The words stirred me from my langour.

“Is something amiss?” I sat up. This, yes, this is what it is to love a prince. Duty first. Always.

“I’ve no idea, Sia. The message was simply that I am to meet with him and to spend the day in Council. It could be anything. It could be nothing.”

Loki kissed me, and slid out of bed.

“I know I had clothes on when I came in here last night . . . . “ He smiled again. I melted. He busied himself sorting out our garments, dressing himself as he untangled his clothing from mine.

I watched his hands move lightly over his clothes, thinking of how lightly they had moved across my skin in the night. I warmed, and wrapped the covers tighter around me.

“Loki, what happens next?” I was terrified to ask, and more afraid of not asking.

“What do you mean, Sia?” Loki looked up from wrestling his doublet fasteners. I smiled, thinking of unfastening them.

I shook myself.

“This isn’t exactly what was on my agenda for this trip, and I don’t think it’s what either Frigga or Odin had in mind when they allowed me to come here. You are a Crown Prince. There are—considerations. I don’t want to say or do the wrong thing.”

_Why, yes, Sia, you are an idiot. What were you thinking last night? Well, you weren’t thinking, were you?_

“My love, there are no considerations. I love you, you love me. It’s quite simple.”

“Loki, I’m a mortal from Midgard. You’re a prince of Asgard. This isn’t an everyday occurrence in either of our worlds.”

Loki sat down on the bed and took my hands.

“Sia, I love you. I haven’t been this happy in centuries, if ever. Let people think what they will. It matters not to me.” He sealed his words with a sweet kiss.

“But it does matter to me. I’m dependent on the good will of the rulers of Asgard to complete my work. I’m not certain that this would fall under the guidelines of good conduct for a guest.”

“Sia, it is no one’s business except ours. If someone asks, I will proudly tell them I love you. They can like it, or not, but it’s not their business.”

“Are you going to tell anyone?” My heart was racing. What have I gotten myself into?

“Sia, all that matters is that I love you, and you love me. We are adults, and make our own choices to live our lives as we wish. No, I’m not going to make an announcement. But if anyone asks, yes, I will tell them. I am proud of you, and proud to be loved by you.” Loki kissed me again.

“I must go and prepare to meet with Odin.” Loki’s eyes were full of apology.

“I understand, Loki.” _Don’t cry, Sia. Do.Not.Cry._

“I will be back this evening, once I have attended to whatever duties the Allfather wishes to appoint to me. And every moment until then, I will be wishing I were in your arms, dear Sia.” Loki took me into his arms with a full kiss.

“I hope the day goes well, Loki. I, too, am eager for the night’s return.”

“I will set out some more books for you, Sia. I do hope you’ll be pleased.”

“Thank you, Loki. I am certain I shall be.”

Another kiss, and then Loki left my bed chamber. Once I heard the door to the hallway open, and then close, I threw myself back onto the pillows.

_Sia, what have you done?_

* * *

Moments later, I heard the door to the hallway open again, and realized Sóldís had arrived. I grabbed my robe and raced to the bathroom and closed the door, running the water in the tub to make it sound like I’d been up a while.

I was reluctant to wash the night from my skin. So lovely, Loki’s scent lingering with me.

_Sia, you have work to do. Get clean, get dressed, and get on with your day._

I stepped into the tub.

_I made love with a God last night_.

That’s going to take a while to process.

I laid back in the tub and closed my eyes. For the moment, I was determined not to think about anything.

* * *

“Prince Loki did not return to his chambers until dawn.”

Frigga wondered how this was news. “That’s not unusual. He keeps late hours.”

“He paid a call on the visitor from Midgard last night at ten o’clock.”

“Ah.” Frigga’s expression did not change, but she sighed internally. “Thank you for the information, and for your discretion.”

“I am pleased to serve my Queen in any way she requires.”

* * *

Sóldís knocked on the door. “Lady Sia, have you drowned in there?”

I shook myself. “No, Sóldís, I am well. I seem to have fallen asleep in the tub. I’ll be right out.”

I rose, and dried off with the fabulously oversized towel. _I really like this place._

I put on my chemise, and returned to the bed chamber.

“Lady Sia, you really should ring for me when you are ready to retire for the night. Even if it’s late. It’s really much better if I can put away your things neatly.”

Sóldís had tidied the room, putting away my clothes and making the bed.

“I apologize, Sóldís. I fell asleep at my writing table last night, and was too tired even to ring for you.”

Sóldís gave me that “now, child” look.

“Then I shall simply come by earlier and help you prepare for bed.”

“Oh, Sóldís!” Panic gripped me. That would _not_ be helpful. “That’s very kind of you. It’s really not necessary.”

“Very well, Lady Sia. As you wish. Now, let’s get you ready for breakfast. Thor says he’s looking forward to seeing you this morning.”

My heart stopped. Well, time to put all that acting experience to the test, Sia. _Hi, Sia, how was your night? Oh, Thor, it was great, I stayed up late making love with Loki._

No, that conversation is _not_ going to happen.

I sat quietly with my thoughts while Sóldís did her usual magic. I was grateful she did not press me for conversation. I didn’t feel I could trust myself to hold a civil conversation about nothing in particular.

“And there! You are even more beautiful today, Lady Sia!” Sóldís’ pride in her work was evident in her voice.

I turned and looked in the mirror.

Yes, I was glowing.

And my eyes were _green_.

_Oh._

I hadn’t expected that.

I tried not to stare at my eyes while I put on make up.

_My eyes are green. Everyone is going to notice_.

I finished with the mascara, took one final look at my new eyes, and rose.

“I am ready, Sóldís.”

I didn’t feel ready, but that didn’t matter. I would have to be ready to face the world. Welcome to being the lover of a prince, Sia. You knew it would be like this. You chose this. Live this.

* * *

“Good morning, Sia!” Thor beamed at me from across the table. “I hope you are well today!”

“Yes, Thor, thank you! I hope you are, too!” Hurrah. Acting lessons for the win.

“Sóldís, I am well here with Prince Thor. I shall see you at 1:00, please.”

“Of course, my lady!” Sóldís curtsied and left the room.

“How was your evening, Sia? Were you able to do the writing you wanted to?” Thor’s sudden interest in my work was—interesting.

“A bit, Thor. But I was so tired, I fell asleep at the writing table and just went to bed.”

“Sia! You are working too hard. You should treat yourself with more kindness.” Thor looked worried.

“I am well, Thor. I’m just keenly aware of how few days remain to me here in Asgard, and I want to do as much as possible while I’m here.” Which was a true statement—I just hadn’t planned on having a sudden princely distraction.

“Sia, if you are truly pressed for time, I could ask Father to grant an extension of your visit.”

“Thor, that’s very kind of you! I don’t want to impose. Odin and Frigga have been so kind already.” _I would love to stay. I think._

“I’ll speak with Mother about it, and she can talk to Father.” Thor nodded. “I am happy to do this for you. Your work is important, and you should have all the time you need to complete it.”

“Thank you, Thor. You have no idea how much that would mean to me.”

Oh, my god. My life is unreal. This whole situation is unreal.

“And Loki? He is not bothering you?” Thor looked worried again.

“Oh, no! Not at all. I expect there will be another stack of books for me at the library today. But really, he doesn’t intrude on my work.” Which was a true statement—Loki did not come to the library while I was working.

_Oh, Sia. You are an idiot._

_Yes, but at the moment, a fairly happy idiot._

“I am pleased to hear this. I will be seeing him today. Father has called us both to Council.” Thor’s worried expression had not changed.

“Thor, is something wrong?”

“I do not know, Sia. The messenger simply informed me that I would be spending the day with Father and the Council.”

Thor looked at the clock. “And, as I wish to speak with Mother first, I must go. Please excuse me, Sia.”

“Of course, Thor. Duty calls. I understand.”

I rose, and Thor hugged me before taking his leave.

What is going on? Why has Odin suddenly called Council? As Loki said, it could be anything, or it could be nothing.

I finished my breakfast in silence, if not peace. My mind had more thoughts than time to think them all, and the library was waiting. I refilled my coffee, and headed there to resume my work.

* * *

I carefully opened the door to the library, and took a deep breath before entering.

Yes, as he promised, Loki had left a new stack of books on the table for me.

I picked up the top book, and was pleased to see the edge of a gold-and-green bordered linen card just visible over the top edge of the book.

 

_My Dearest Thyone ~_

_Shine brightly for me, today, my love._

_Until this evening, when I am in your arms again, you are my only thought._

_My Heart,_

_Loki_

 

Last night had been real.

It wasn’t a dream.

It wasn’t my overactive imagination.

I am loved by a prince.

I am loved by a god.

I am loved by Loki.

I read the note again. Of course, Thyone—the mortal princess Zeus loved in secret, who asked him to reveal his divine self to her, and who was consumed and remade as an immortal by his divine fire.

I smiled from my heart.

I am loved by a man who shares myths with me.

Who is a myth, come to life.

My life was strange, indeed—but in all the best ways possible.

I sat down and began reading.

 


	15. A Not-So-Minor Complication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when everything seemed to be going so well . . . Sia knows what the myths predict, but plenty has happened that isn't in the myths.

 

* * *

Six o’clock, and no sign of either of the princes. I tried to focus on my work, and not think about what the Council might be considering.

Another half hour, and I decided my work for the day was done.

I returned to my room, and just as I was considering what to do with my evening, Thor appeared at the door.

“Sia, may I enter?” He was clearly tired, and had something on his mind.

“Of course, Thor. Would you like some wine?” I appreciated that Sóldís had been by earlier.

“Yes, please, Sia. Wine would be good just now.” Thor closed the door, and sat down in the chair next to the fireplace.

“Are you alright, Thor? You look like you’ve been put through a wringer.”

“Council just ended, Sia. We were at it all day.” Thor took a long drink from the goblet.

“Sia, you must join us for supper tonight. All of us. Mother requests it.” Thor took another drink.

“Thank you, Thor. I will be happy to be your guest.” I knew Frigga’s request was not really a request.

I was uncertain as to the connection between Odin’s Council and being summoned to dinner, and hoped Thor would answer my unspoken question.

“I will come for you just before eight, then, Sia.” Thor rose.

Someone knocked on the door.

Thor opened it to see Loki standing there.

“Brother. What are you doing here?” Thor’s voice was filled with suspicion.

“I merely came by to invite Sia to supper, at Mother’s request.” Loki gave Thor one of his bland looks.

“I have already invited her.” Thor stood in the doorway, blocking Loki’s entrance.

“Well, then. Very good.” Loki smiled with feigned satisfaction.

“Prince Loki, what a surprise!” I was determined to have a chance to speak with Loki before supper.

“I am glad you are here. I have a question about one of the books you left for me today.” I smiled as brightly as I could manage in the tension-filled air. “It’s here in my bag. Would you mind? It won’t take long.”

Thor looked at me, and back at Loki, then stepped aside.

“Remember, Loki, eight o’clock. Not one minute late. Sia, I’ll let Sóldís know you need her.”

Loki nodded.

“Sia, I will be back for you at quarter to the hour.”

“Thank you, Thor. I appreciate it.”

Thor turned and stalked off down the hallway.

Loki entered the room, closed the door, and wrapped me in his arms.

A kiss like honey, a kiss like fire.

“Sia. My love. I’ve missed you so.” Holding me close, stroking my hair, Loki filled my senses.

“I’m so happy to see you, Loki. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

Loki pulled me down with him onto the divan, holding me tightly.

“Tonight is too far away. I want you now.” Loki emphasized his words with another kiss of sweet fire.

I melted into him, floating in his eyes.

The clock struck. Loki sighed.

“And yet, supper is so very soon. And doubtless Sóldís will be here even sooner to help you dress.”

My turn to sigh. “Yes, she will be.”

“Loki, what happened at Council today?” Not romantic, but the fact that Thor went straight for the wine, and hadn’t volunteered any information, had me worried.

“Oh, nothing, Sia. Just politics.” Loki kissed me again.

“Loki, please. Thor would not speak of it, but he drained an entire goblet of wine when he came here. That doesn’t reassure me.”

Loki looked down at me. “Sia, it’s nothing you need to worry about. There are Marauders on Vanaheim again. The Council has decided that Asgard will ride to their defense. Thor is to lead the army.”

My heart stopped. War.

“And you, Loki? Will you go to war as well?”

Loki kissed me. “No, my love, I do not go to war. Odin wishes me to serve him here.”

My head was swimming with emotions—worry about Thor, and relief that Loki was not going to Vanaheim.

Loki kissed me again. “I could not bear to be away from you in another realm. Just being apart from you in the palace was agony.”

“I am glad you will remain here, Loki. So little time remains on my visit. I don’t want to lose a day.”

“Lady Sia! I’m here to help you dress.” Sóldís’ voice came through the door as she knocked.

Loki’s arms tightened around me. “I don’t want to let you go.”

“You will come back tonight, and we will hold each other then.” I kissed him.

“Come in, Sóldís!” I called out. Loki stood and moved to the fire, and I picked up a book from the table and opened it.

Sóldís entered, and stopped to see Loki standing there. She curtsied. “Your Highness. Lady Sia.”

Loki nodded at Sóldís, his expression neutral.

“Thank you so much for helping me with that translation, Prince Loki. That will be quite useful.” I closed the book and set it back on the table.

“Happy to help, Lady Sia.” He nodded. “I should leave you with Sóldís. I will see you in the West Salon.” Loki bowed, and left the room.

“Lady Sia, we don’t have much time. Let’s get you changed, and I’ll do something more formal with your hair.”

Sóldís made no comment on Loki’s presence, although she clearly wanted to say something.

I was in no mood to chat, and knew I should save my acting for the royal supper.

Sóldís arranged and tucked and pinned, and I was dressed and my hair done.

Sóldís stood by silently as I touched up my make up.

* * *

At 7:45, Thor knocked on the door, and Sóldís let him into the suite.

“Sia, you are lovely, as always! It does my heart good to see you dressed so. Every day, you look more like an Asgardian princess.”

“Thank you, Thor. Your words honor me.” I reverenced.

“You honor me with your company, Sia.” Thor hugged me. I could sense his tension, but of course we could not speak openly in front of Sóldís.

“Shall we, then?” Thor offered me his arm.

“Yes, let’s!” I took his arm and rested my hand lightly on it.

“Sóldís, I would like some mulled wine after supper. Thank you.”

Sóldís curtsied. “Of course, my lady.”

I could feel her eyes on me as we left the room.

Let her think what she will. I was a happy woman.

* * *

“Thor, is everything alright?” I already knew the answer, but of course he didn’t know that.

“Alas, Sia, it is not. Marauders are abroad in Vanaheim again.” Thor shook his head. “Asgard must send its armies in support of our allies.”

“I’m sorry, Thor.”

“I much prefer peace, Sia. But, as a prince of the realm, I must do my king’s bidding and go to war.”

“I hope it goes quickly, and you are able to return to Asgard without delay.”

“That is my hope as well, Sia. Last time, we were able to make short work of them. I hope this time is the same.”

The guards at the door of the West Salon opened the room to admit us.

I took a deep breath. Acting time, Sia. As far as everyone in this room is concerned, last night was merely Tuesday night, and nothing unusual happened.

We entered, and I saw Loki pacing in front of the windows at the far end of the room, staring out at the night.

“Well, at least he’s on time,” Thor admitted grudgingly.

“He can be a proper prince, when he chooses.” I smiled at Thor. Thor sighed, then returned the smile.

As we were crossing the room to join Loki at the windows, the side door opened, and Odin and Frigga entered.

The three of us turned, and made our bows.

“There is no need for ceremony. Sit.” Odin was not in the mood for formalities at this point in the day.

We took the same seats as last week. Frigga looked at me with an expression half bemused, half concerned. I smiled as brightly as I could manage. She returned a cool smile and looked away. I desperately wanted to look at Loki to see if he had noted the exchange, but I knew that would be unwise. I busied myself with my napkin, and turned to give Thor a smile.

The household presented and served the meal, and stood to the side of the room.

“We are well here, thank you. You may withdraw.” Frigga wanted time alone with her family. The servants quietly left the room.

A heavy silence filled the space. I was grateful that, as a guest, I was not expected to break it.

Odin cut the quiet, speaking aloud what we all were thinking.

“Thor, all will be ready for tomorrow?”

I paused. I hadn’t realized things would be happening quite so quickly.

“Yes, father. I’ve given all the orders, and the officers know that they have only tonight to prepare. It hasn’t been that long since we last went to Vanaheim, so there’s not much that needs to be done.”

I took a quick look in Loki’s direction. I couldn’t stare, of course, but it would be strange not to look at him at all. He was looking at Frigga.

I looked back at Odin. I wasn’t ready to meet Loki’s eyes in front of his family—well, at least in front of Frigga.

“I’ve also reconsidered our plans. Given how well it worked last time, we should befog them. It will mean a shorter battle, and fewer dead from our side.”

I swallowed, though I had nothing in my mouth. I felt a sudden wave of fear, and stilled myself to a neutral expression.

“Loki, you will ride with your brother tomorrow.”

I looked at Loki. Everyone be damned. I don’t care what they know or think.

“As you wish, Father, of course. But I do think your original plan to have me here for negotiations is still sound.” Loki’s face was calm.

“With your magic, we can defeat them easily and quickly, just like last time, and avoid the need for negotiations.” Odin took a drink of wine.

Keep calm, Sia. This has nothing to do with you.

“Of course, father. A sound plan.” Loki picked up his goblet, seeming to drink.

I felt as though the floor had just fallen through. But the feelings would have to wait—this was not the time or place.

“So, Thor, the first thing—“

“Odin, please! You have spent all day in Council discussing plans. Can we not simply enjoy a meal together as a family tonight?” Frigga’s voice made it clear that further discussion of the war would have to wait.

“Of course, my dear.” Odin kissed Frigga on the cheek.

“Thank you.” It was Frigga’s turn to pick up her goblet and seem to drink.

“What would you have us discuss?” Odin was attempting to regain his wife’s good favor.

“Perhaps Lady Sia can tell us about her work. After all, what is more interesting than hearing about our own history?” Frigga smiled at me again with that cool smile. I felt a wave of discomfort, and wondered if she had somehow guessed what had happened between me and Loki. Maybe she had noticed my eyes being green. If anyone else had noticed, they hadn’t said anything.

“Are you making progress, Lady Sia?” I felt Frigga’s eyes piercing through me. _She knows._

“My work goes quite well, Your Majesty. I have found so many sources that are exactly what I need. I am quite appreciative of this time.”

“That’s good.” Odin tipped his goblet. “Good to hear you are focusing on your work, unlike some people.”

_Does Odin know? Can he see the green in my eyes?_

“Now, Odin. Let’s not spoil this evening with that kind of talk.” Frigga patted her husband’s hand.

“Father, we told you that Lady Sia is an exceptional scholar. Her work on Midgard is quite good. I can only imagine how well this book will turn out.” Loki smiled at me over his goblet.

“As long as something comes of all this. Something _good_ , that is.” Odin’s expression had not changed.

Thor chimed in. “Sia is known as an expert in Midgard. The book will be better than good.”

Odin shrugged, and reached for more wine. “She’ll have new material, with this new war, to give her an edge over the other mortals who write about Asgard.”

“My hope is that the war will be so brief as to not merit a great deal of attention.” I raised my goblet. “To swift and complete victory.”

The others raised their goblets, and repeated the toast. Loki smiled reassurance at me. _I will be home soon, and safe, my love._

“What is the secret of your work, Lady Sia? Diligence? Luck? Sorcery?” Odin’s smile was fixed.

“Diligence, certainly. Without discipline, the work does not happen. Luck, to varying degrees. For example, my being invited here—amazing luck, unforeseeable.”

“And sorcery?”

“I am no sorcerer, Allfather. If I were, this would all have been much faster to conjure than to write.”

Odin permitted himself a half-smile. “Magic does not always produce the results we wish.”

“Plenty of Midgardian tales carry that very lesson.” I smiled sweetly. “For that matter, even our non-magical actions do not always produce the intended outcome.”

Odin laughed. “Very true, Lady Sia.The Nine Realms are replete with examples of good intentions gone bad.” He shot a sideways look at Loki, who pretended not to see it.

“For a mortal, you have some good insights. Your parents, or someone, taught you well.” Odin seemed surprised at his own statement.

“Thank you, Your Majesty. You are kind to say so. I was fortunate to be born to parents who prized learning in its many forms.”

“And this is why you teach?”

“One of the reasons. I enjoy my work, and being able to share knowledge with others, and to excite their interest in my favorite subjects, is quite fulfilling.”

“Well, that’s good.” Odin picked up his goblet, and silence fell over the table.

Thor’s voice broke the stillness. “Loki, how is Sigurd?”

“Thor, he is the best horse I have ever ridden. Strong and fast, easily directed, and yet requiring little direction. The new training method seems to have worked just as planned.”

Thor talked about his ideas for training the horses, and improvements to the stables. Odin and Frigga watched the three of us intently. I focused on listening, and tried not to drink too much wine, and waited impatiently for the chance to return to my rooms to wait for Loki.

* * *

The meal finally done, Thor walked me back to my chambers.

The stress of the news, and the lack of sleep from the night before, were wearing on me.

“Thor, will it really be as simple as Odin said?”

“I hope so, Sia. Last time, it was only a day of fighting before they surrendered. This time, we can befog them before they attack us. They’ll be on the defensive, which gives us the advantage.”

I struggled to hold back the tears.

“I’m so worried about you, Thor.” And your brother, the man I love.

“I’ll be fine, Sia. They’re just Marauders. Not particularly smart, and often more dangerous to themselves than to anyone else.”

“As long as you’ll be safe, Thor. Asgard needs its princes.”

“All will be well, Sia. We’ll go to Vanaheim, we’ll take care of the marauders, and we’ll be home in time for a picnic on Saturday.”

“I like this plan, Thor.”

“Me, too, Sia.”

“Be safe, Thor.” We had reached my door.

“I shall, Sia. We’ll be back before you know we’re gone.” Thor hugged me.

“Goodnight, Thor.”

“Goodnight, Sia.”

I entered my room and closed the door as Thor strode away. I knew he was off to see to his troops.

* * *

All I really wanted to do was sit down and cry. But Sóldís was waiting for me, so I kept the mask of calm a bit longer.

I seated myself at the table in front of the fire, and opened my notebook as though I was going to continue working.

“Thank you, Sóldís. That will be all for tonight.” I was close to tears, and didn’t want to cry with her present.

“As you wish, Lady Sia. Goodnight.”

As soon as the door closed, the tears began trickling from my eyes.

No. No. NO.

This couldn’t be happening.

And yet. It was.

I let the tears flow. I wanted to get them out before Loki’s visit. We would have only a few hours tonight, and I didn’t want to lose time weeping.

A few minutes later, with a soft knock, Loki let himself into the room, locking the door behind him.

“Sia, my love.” Loki swept me into his arms with a long kiss.

“Sia, I’m so sorry. I had no idea Odin was going to change the plan. And to just announce it in the middle of the meal. That was so—thoughtless.”

“And I am proud of you for how well you handled it. You remained calm, and carried the conversation afterwards. No one else would have suspected you were frightened and angry. You are so strong, my love.”

“Loki, I’ve never had to deal with this kind of thing before. How am I supposed to be calm when you are going to war?”

“We’’ll be gone a few days, at most.” Loki’s confidence was not feigned.

“But Loki—it’s _war_. People die. You could die.” I was trying to manage my distress, and not doing a particularly good job of it.

“Yes, Sia, people die in war. I won’t be anywhere near the battle. I’ll be fine.” Loki kissed me.

“I want to believe that, Loki.”

Loki put a finger under my chin, and raised my face to look me in the eyes.

“It is true, my love. I swear. I will return to you safely.”

Loki kissed me. “I could not bear to forever lose the pleasure of kissing you.”

“Loki, what happens if it takes longer? I am supposed to return to Midgard soon. What if you do not return before I have to leave?”

Loki smiled. “Odin has ordered the Bifrost closed except for movements necessary to support the Vanaheim expedition. And Thor will not be here to escort you. So you are unable to return to Midgard while we are away. And once we’re back, he will have other things on his mind than sending you away. You will be able to stay a while longer, my love.”

I had mixed feelings about this—more time in Asgard to work on the book, but also more time without Loki. And how much time once he returned? Any time was better than none, but how much time would we really have?

“Loki, that’s wonderful! I will need to get a message to the university. And to Jane.” I wondered how that would be possible, with the Bifrost closed.

“Sia, do you have your device? The one that you mortals use to speak across distances?”

“Yes, Loki, I have my phone, but I don’t think Asgard is on AT&T’s network.”

“Leave it to me. Just do what you usually do to write the messages, and hand me the machine.”

It felt strange to turn on the phone. It felt like years since I had looked at it, even though it had been just a week. I opened the email app, and started typing.

 

> To: TLFranklin@___.edu
> 
> Subject: Request to Extend Sabbatical
> 
> Dr. Franklin: An interesting opportunity has arisen. Requesting two additional weeks of sabbatical. Thank you.
> 
>  

I knew I had a large accumulation of unused sabbatical hours, so the request was merely a formality. But Dr. Franklin was all about the formalities, and I didn’t want to do anything to endanger my position at the university. I figured two weeks was a reasonable amount of time, both for the anticipated extension of my stay, and as additional time away from my academic duties.

 

> To: Jane.Foster@ _____.com
> 
> Jane - Asgard is amazing! So much in the library. Staying another week or so. It’s okay if you have to go back to NM. Just water the plants and lock up when you leave. Thank you! Will call when I’m back. Love you, Sia
> 
>  

I handed the phone to Loki. He stared at it, then waved his hand over it.

Whooosh! Whoosh!

The “sent message” sound went off twice, and he handed it back to me.

I could see no signal on the indicator, but the messages had moved from the Drafts folder to the Sent folder.

“There! Couldn’t have been easier.”

“Thank you, Loki.”

I turned off the phone, and put it back in my bag. I returned to Loki’s arms.

“And now, my love, where we were before Sóldís interrupted earlier tonight?” Loki gave me a slow, sweet kiss. “Ah, yes. We were there.”

Taking my hand, Loki rose, and we returned to the bedroom.

* * *

Starlight, song, ecstasy.

Being with a god was pure magic.

“Sia, you are a goddess. I love you.”

“You make me a goddess, my love.”

“I cannot make you what you already are, Sia.”

“I love you, Loki.”

* * *

Sleep overtook us.

 


	16. The Call to Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This, too, is what it means to love a Prince. No one ever said it would be easy. 
> 
> Duty rarely is.

* * *

I woke while it was still dark outside. I wondered what time Loki was expected to appear.

I watched him sleeping. So beautiful. So calm. All worries soothed out of his face by the sweet gift of Nepenthe.

I was reluctant to wake him, but knew that time would not wait for us.

“Loki. Love.” I kissed him.

“Sia. My sweet.” Loki returned the kiss, pulled me close.

“Loki, what time are you to be at Council?”

“Not yet, my love. Not yet.”

Loki kissed me again.

I slipped back into his arms, and the sweetness of slumber.

* * *

“Sia.” Loki woke me with a kiss.

I sat up. Loki was fully dressed, standing next to the bed. “Sia, my love. I must go now.”

“Oh, Loki.” I kissed him.

“I love you, Sia. I promise you, I will return to your arms, safe and whole.”

“I love you, Loki. Keep yourself safe for me, my darling.”

“I will be thinking of you until I am again in your arms, Sia.”

“As I will be thinking of you, Loki.”

A sweet, lingering kiss, and another.

“I will be back soon, Sia, my love.”

“Loki, my heart, I will be here for you.”

Loki turned, straightened himself, and walked out of the room.

I heard the door to the hallway close.

I didn’t have to be strong any more.

I cried. I wanted to believe Loki would be safe, that the war would go quickly, and he would be back at my side in just a few days. I knew the predictive myths had a different ending than his death on Vanaheim.

But I was still afraid.

I had finally found someone who loved me with the same intensity and passion with which I loved him.

And he was going to war on another planet.

* * *

“Prince Loki was again in the mortal’s chamber all night.”

“Again.”

“After he had spoken with Chamberlain, and made a visit to the jewel vault in the afternoon.”

“Thank you for the report, and for your discretion.”

“I am pleased to serve my Queen in any way she requires.”

* * *

“Lady Sia, are you unwell?” Sóldís was standing at my bedside.

“Oh, good morning, Sóldís.” I blinked, confused. I must have cried myself to sleep after Loki left, and now I had overslept.

“I’m fine. I was up late last night, writing.”

Sóldís shook her head. “Tsk. I’ve brought coffee. If you want to see the Princes before they leave, you need to hurry.”

“Thank you, Sóldís!” I jumped out of bed. “I very much would like to see them.”

“Stand still, then, and we’ll be quick about it.”

I had never seen Sóldís move at such speed. In less than 15 minutes, I was dressed, coiffed, and ready to go.

She practically pushed me through the corridors.

My heart racing from nerves and the fast walk, I stepped onto a balcony overlooking the square in front of the palace.

The armies of Asgard were assembled below. Gold helmets and steel spears glinted in the morning light.

At the front of the assemblage were three horses.

_Three?_ Thor, Loki, and who else? One of the generals, perhaps.

A movement out of the corner of my eye caused me to turn. I saw Frigga standing on the balcony of the Council Hall.

Then it struck me. Odin was going as well.

He had said nothing last night. Thor and Loki had both said that Thor would be leading the troops. I wondered what prompted that change. I wondered how Odin told Frigga, and what she said when he told her.

Frigga was calm and smiling. How many times had she seen her husband off to war? And then her sons as well?

She is an amazing actress. I cannot doubt that she feels as much worry and care for her family as any other woman, and yet, here she is, the perfect, calm Queen, blessing and inspiring the troops.

“Lady Sia?” a voice called from the room behind me. Where was Sóldís?

I turned and saw Erik. He was still shy, but had mastered the art of a proper bow.

“Lady Sia, I have something for you.” He held forth a small box.

“Thank you, Erik. I appreciate your bringing it to me. Who is it from?”

“There is a card inside.” He bowed again, nervously.

“Will there be anything else, Lady Sia?”

“I will open the package, and then have an answer for you, Erik.”

I turned away, and opened the box.

A gold-and-green bordered card was underneath the lid.

 

_Sia, My Darling, My Love~_

_Keep this close to your heart, and keep me in your heart while I am away._

_Your Truest Lover,_

_Loki_

 

The card alone would have been enough to make me happy.

I lifted the card, and underneath was a pendant of sapphire and emerald. Deep blue, like the sea, and dark green, like the canopy of a deep forest. I gasped.

“Lady Sia, are you alright?” Erik’s voice from behind me brought me back to myself.

“Yes, Erik, I am fine. Thank you.”

I carefully removed the necklace from the box, and placed it around my neck. The gems nestled perfectly over my heart.

I felt suddenly calm, suffused with love.

I tucked the note back into the box, and the box into my pouch.

“Erik, how soon do they leave? Do you know?”

“As soon as Odin mounts his horse, my lady. He’s there, crossing the courtyard with the princes.”

I knew I would not have time to send a return message to Loki.

“Erik, would you like to watch from here? With me?”

“Could—could I, Lady Sia?”

“I would be happy for you to be here. Such a sight doesn’t happen very often now, does it?”

“Thank you, Lady Sia!” Erik cautiously moved to the front of the balcony and stood next to me.

I watched Odin, Thor, and Loki stride confidently across the courtyard. I looked over and saw Frigga on her balcony, still calm and smiling. I stood up straighter.

The three men mounted their horses in almost perfect unison. Odin looked up at Frigga. My eyes were locked on Loki.

“Frigga, my Queen, my wife! We will return, victorious! Until then, Asgard is yours to command.”

Loki glanced at Frigga, then his eyes found me on the balcony. I smiled, and pointed to my heart. Loki smiled in return, and nodded.

“Odin, my King, my husband! Fight well, fight valiantly. We eagerly await the safe return of you, of our sons, and of all our army. Unharmed go forth, unharmed return, unharmed safe home.” Frigga’s voice was even, her smile was perfect.

I wondered if I could ever be such a good actress.

Thor and Loki rode forward, on either side of Odin.

Thor spoke first. “My Queen and Mother, we salute you, and will fight for all that is right.” He bowed his head.

“Fight well, my Prince, my son! Fortune be with you.” Still that calm voice, that perfect smile.

“My Queen and Mother, we salute you, and will do you all honor in our battles.” Loki bowed his head.

“Fight well, my Prince, my son! Your magic lends might to Asgard’s army.”

Odin held up his right arm.

“Let us ride!” He dropped his arm, and his horse moved forward, the princes riding next to him.

Loki looked up at me. I did my best to be like Frigga—calm, confident, and full of love. I nodded, with a smile that I hoped would read to him as the light of my heart.

Loki nodded, smiled, and fell in with Odin and Thor.

I swallowed, and took a deep breath. I imagined Frigga’s calm settling around me like a cloak.

“Have you ever seen anything, like this Erik? So many soldiers, all at once?”

“Just once, my lady. But I was very small.”

He was 11, maybe 12. The idea that he no longer considered himself a child was sobering.

“Erik, are you happy here at the palace?”

“Yes, my lady, I am. I eat every day, and sleep safely at night. It is good.”

I wondered what kind of life he'd had previously.

“The palace is, indeed, a good place, Erik.”

Odin and the princes had disappeared past the horizon. Still the troops marched by, and still Frigga stood on her balcony, beautiful and calm. I knew she would be there until the last soldier had gone past, showing her respect for their commitment. I resolved to do the same.

 

 


	17. Summoned to Frigga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The palace is quiet without the men. Frigga summons Sia for company, and the conversation takes an unexpected turn. The only thing more daunting than speaking with the Queen is speaking with Loki’s mother.
> 
> Suggested music: "Shadows of Loki", from the "Thor: The Dark World" Soundtrack by Brian Tyler. https://youtu.be/L4KjzuBoNrc

 

* * *

“Lady Sia.” Sóldís entered the library and curtsied. “The Queen wishes to see you.”

I looked up at Sóldís, perplexed. “Me, Sóldís? Are you certain?” Why would Frigga want to see me?

“Yes, Lady Sia. She wishes to see you.”

“Ah, very well. I should be done here about six o’clock.”

“Lady Sia. Now.” Sóldís looked at me, unsmiling and clearly nervous. “The Queen would like you to join her in her suite.”

“Yes. Certainly. Of course, Sóldís.” My heart raced. Does she know about Loki? Is she going to change her mind about my staying an extra week?

I stood up, and smoothed my dress. “Sóldís, am I presentable?”

“Just a minute, and you will be.” Sóldís fussed with my hair, adjusted my gown. “There. That’s better.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. Please take me to the Queen.”

I straightened, and remembered all the times I had portrayed a noble woman in various plays. It was an act, but it would have to suffice in place of the confidence I was not feeling at that moment.

* * *

Sóldís led me to Frigga’s suite. Erik followed behind.

The guards silently acknowledged us, and opened the door.

“Wait here, Erik.” Sóldís smiled at the boy.

He nodded, and took a seat on the bench across the hall.

We entered Frigga’s study.

She was seated at a low table, books neatly arranged on it.

Sóldís and I reverenced.

“Thank you, Sóldís. You may leave us now.” Frigga gave a slight nod, and Sóldís exited without a word.

“Lady Sia.”

“Your Majesty.” I knew to wait, to let the Queen make the first move. Being a historian had its advantages.

“Lady Sia, please, make yourself comfortable.” Frigga gestured to the chair nearest her. I sat.

“Would you like some wine? Tea?” Frigga smiled.

“Tea, thank you, Your Majesty.” I really wanted wine, but felt it prudent to stick with tea and keep my wits unclouded.

Lady Helen appeared, and poured tea.

“Thank you, Helen. You may leave us now.” Helen curtsied, and left the room, closing the door behind her.

“Lady Sia, thank you for coming. It’s so quiet, and I felt the need for company.”

“Thank you for the invitation, Your Majesty. It is much quieter at present. But it allows me to focus on my work, and not feel I am neglecting my social duties.”

“Your work goes well?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I am infinitely grateful for this opportunity.”

“We are appreciative of your work, Sia. I look forward to the final result.”

“I hope it will please you, Your Majesty, and suitably honor your family and your people.”

“Your work keeps you occupied?”

“On Midgard, I have no family obligations, so I am accustomed to spending my time as I will. Research is a rather hermit-like occupation.”

“I thought perhaps you might be lonely without the princes here.”

“I do miss Thor’s company. He is a most pleasant companion, and meals are much quieter without him.”

“And your nights are much quieter without Loki?”

I shook so hard my teacup rattled on the saucer. I set it down on the table to avoid dropping it.

“Your Majesty?” I was terrified, and called on every acting trick I knew to mask my fear.

“Lady Sia, I know Loki has been teaching you magic. Your eyes have a green light when I look at them, even though they are blue. I taught him his magic, and I can see it in those he teaches.”

Ah, so that explains why no one else sees it.

“Further, I have seen how he looks at you, and you at him. I suspect that perhaps he shares more than his magic with you.” Frigga looked me directly in the eye. She was no longer the Queen, she was Loki’s Mother—an altogether more frightening person.

“The Prince has been quite kind in assisting my research by locating books and sources for me to read.” Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Surround yourself with white light. If Loki can read your mind, it’s certain Frigga can as well.

“Of course I can, Sia. And I was not asking about the books.” Frigga paused. “That is what I suspected. And feared.”

“Feared, Your Majesty?” I relaxed. She knew. Of course she knew. But that didn’t make it any less awkward.

“Sia, you are a historian. Do you truly not understand?”

“Your Majesty, I understand very well. Loki is a Prince of Asgard. I am a mortal of Midgard. The two should never have met. Loki has his responsibilities to his family, to his King, and to his Realm. A dalliance with a mortal is not part of those responsibilities, and will be tolerated, briefly, only insofar as it does not interfere with his performance of his duties to king and country, and is kept secret from everyone. Additionally, the Allfather does not approve of gods mixing with mortals, and, were he to know, his response would be swift and unpleasant for all concerned. I am to be grateful for this opportunity, discreet in my passions, return to Midgard as soon as possible, and consign this to the back of my mind as a unique experience, as I will never see Loki once I return to Midgard, and of course I will never be permitted to return to Asgard.”

Frigga looked at me, her expression neutral.

“Did I miss anything, Your Majesty?” I was angry, and hurt. I had known all of this, of course, but this is the first time I’d permitted myself to think about it, much less say it aloud and with such honesty.

“That was a thorough answer, Sia. I am glad you understand the situation.” Frigga sipped her wine.

So, that was it. No hope. No help. I wanted to scream, to cry. How many times had I read about this kind of situation in my research, over and over, feeling so sad for the unfortunate women caught in situations where they had no control, yet bore the brunt of the unfairness? And now, here I was, one of those women.

“Yes, Sia. It is unfair. And this is what it is for a mortal to love a god.”

“I understand, Your Majesty. I had no expectations otherwise. I am not happy about the reality, but it is far better than the reality in which none of this happened. I have my work. I have been loved by a worthy man. And I keep both of those with me, wherever I am.” I tried to keep my breath even to avoid crying. As bad as it was being apart from Loki while he was on Vanaheim, it had extended my stay in Asgard, and we would still have a few more days together once he returned.

“Sia, I am sorry. You are an intelligent, lovely woman, and deserve all the happiness life can give you. I am sorry Loki has disturbed your peaceful life, and I am sorry I cannot do more for you.”

“Your Majesty, I have nothing but thanks for all you have done for me. Without your persistence in dealing with Odin, I would not be here to do the work I am doing. That alone is enough. To expect anything further would be unreasonable.”

“And you, of course, are a reasonable woman, Sia.” Frigga looked at me coolly.

“I can be, Your Majesty, as needed.”

“And, despite your passion for my son, you will be reasonable here?”

“Your Majesty, what other option do I have? If I choose to cause a fuss, that will simply bring an earlier end to the experience. I will bide my time, enjoying my love and my work while I may.”

“Sia, you are wise. I cannot approve of Loki’s choice to pursue this relationship, but I certainly understand his interest.”

Frigga poured some wine into a goblet, and handed it to me. “It does help.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” I sipped the wine, trying not to dissolve into tears.

I had known it would be complicated. I had known that, despite Loki’s assurances that it was no one’s business and everything would be fine, that it was indeed his sovereigns’ business, and it would not be fine. I had just hoped to have a bit more time to enjoy our love before that particular wave of reality crashed down on us.

“Sia, you are strong. You will be fine.” Frigga smiled with true kindness.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” I didn’t feel strong. I felt hurt, and angry, and in need of a good cry, which I certainly couldn’t have in front of Frigga.

Her business tone returned. “You are taking precautions?”

Her question caught me off guard. But, of course she was concerned. The last thing the crown of Asgard needed was another bastard in the line, and even worse—a half-mortal bastard.

“No precautions are necessary. I had a surgery many years ago to ensure that conception would be impossible.”

Frigga nodded. “Even better.”

“That’s Thor’s responsibility, ultimately. As heir to Odin.” I smiled at Frigga.

Frigga seemed surprised. “Well, yes. But Loki can be—careless.”

“So I have heard.”

“There are many tales about my son, many of which are true.” Frigga shook her head.

“But at least has has no further offspring.” I decided to see what I might learn from Frigga about Berthe.

“Not yet.” Frigga sipped her wine. “But soon enough. Poor Berthe.”

“Berthe?” I attempted to appear uninformed.

“Sia, you know about Berthe. Thor told you.”

“Yes, Your Majesty, he did.”

_Think fast, Sia._

“Your Majesty, why does everyone believe the child is Loki’s, when he himself disclaims it? He has claimed all of his other offspring, no matter how strange or monstrous.”

Frigga looked at me, as though that had not occurred to her.

“Of course he disclaims the child. He does not want to tangle with Siegfried over Berthe’s honor.”

“Who is Siegfried?”

“He is a foster brother of Berthe’s mother. The family took him in when his own parents died, and they were raised together. As the remaining adult male in the household, it is his duty to uphold the family honor.”

I reeled. Siegfried was Berthe’s uncle, even if unrelated by blood. No wonder Berthe didn’t want anyone to know who the real father of her child was.

“I do not understand, Your Majesty. If Loki disclaims the child, does Siegfried not yet have the obligation to honor?” This was not making sense to me.

“He can only pursue the honor claim against the named father. Berthe refuses to name the father, and Loki disclaims responsibility. So Siegfried is unable to make a claim against Loki.”

“Ah. I see.” I considered the situation. “What if Loki truly is not the father? What then?”

“Sia, I understand that it is painful for you to contemplate Loki’s fathering a child with another woman. But, in the unlikely event some other man is the father, as long as Berthe refuses to provide a name, the child is essentially fatherless.”

_Oh, my god. How grotesquely patriarchal._

“Not at all. Berthe can always choose to give the child her name, without shame.” Frigga shook her head. “Her family has not had a good year. No wonder poor Lady Johanna is in such a state.” I felt especially sorry for Berthe, unable to confide in anyone, or to speak her truth publicly.

“Lady Johanna has always been—edgy. But the loss of her husband and sons was just too much for her to bear.” Frigga was clearly thinking of her own husband and sons, currently away at war.

I wondered who the gods pray to when they are in need.

“Your Majesty, did Berthe have any admirers or suitors before?” I decided it couldn’t hurt to ask. Okay, maybe it could, but I also realized that there was no point in pretending with Frigga. She knew I loved her son, and there was no reason to act otherwise.

“She had a young man of some sort, but he did not meet with her parents’ approval, so it went nowhere.” Frigga shook her head. “It should not be so complicated.”

“What if this young man were the actual father of the child?”

“Berthe swears he is not.”

“A young woman will say anything to protect the man she thinks she loves. Why would Berthe be any different?”

“Sia, why are you so curious about the father of Berthe’s child? Is it so important to you that it not be Loki that you will pursue any theory?”

“It matters not to me if Loki is the father of Berthe’s child, in terms of my feelings for Loki. It puzzles me that, if he truly is the father, he denies the responsibility. That’s not like him. He’s always boasted of his other progeny. Doesn’t it strike you as strange that he’s behaving this way with Berthe? I mean, no one is asking him to marry her, not even her. So what is behind the denial? What if he truly is not the father? Has Berthe ever actually claimed it is so?”

Frigga looked at me as if I had two heads. “Well, no. She hasn’t actually said he is. Everyone just assumed that they had a—closer relationship.”

“Your Majesty, what if Berthe’s child isn’t Loki’s at all, and Berthe was the one to break off their friendship to focus on her child? What if Loki truly is not involved in this at all?”

“Sia, no one would believe that at this point. Everyone believes the child is Loki’s, and that’s rather the end of the discussion.”

“But Your Majesty, that assumption creates a problem in the line of succession. Isn’t it worth Odin’s peace of mind to find out the truth?”

_Sia, sometimes you are a genius._

Frigga sat up. “Sia, you are a good historian. And that is an excellent point. We’ve all been working from assumptions that haven’t actually been tested.”

“Your Majesty, I have a plan. May I present it?”

Frigga nodded.

“In my role as historian, I could interview Berthe. After all, if Loki is the father of the child, this should be included in the book, yes?”

Frigga nodded. “Go on.”

“She has nothing to gain by lying to me, and everything to gain by being honest. I’m not a member of the royal family, I’m not even an Asgardian. I’m just some mortal who is writing a book, who will be gone in a week, never to be seen again.”

Frigga smiled. “Sia, that is a clever idea. I like it.”

I relaxed. Fortune favors the bold sometimes, and this was one of those times.

“Thank you, Your Majesty. I am pleased you approve.”

“I will have Berthe meet you tomorrow at 11:00 A.M. in the Blue Salon. Be kind to her. She is young, and scared, and in need of a friend.”

“That, Your Majesty, is what I am counting on.” I was dancing inside, but kept my voice even.

Frigga looked at me, and smiled. “For a mortal, you are rather clever.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“And then you shall come to the Red Salon. We’ll dine together. Just the two of us.”

“As you wish, Your Majesty.” I set down my goblet of wine.

“Thank you, Lady Sia. Have a good evening. I will see you tomorrow.”

I stood, and curtsied. Frigga nodded. I showed myself out.

As the guard closed the door behind me, I heard Frigga ring for Helen.

Being Queen was not an easy task, but Frigga did an amazing job of it.

I almost ran back to my room.

I am going to speak with Berthe. At the Queen’s command.

It was perfect.

 


	18. Life Imitates Fiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sia interviews Berthe. Sometimes, life events seem to come straight out of a novel.

 

* * *

I woke up earlier than usual on Saturday morning. Without Loki beside me, I had no reason to linger in bed. Putting on my robe, I walked to the table in front of the fire and reviewed my notes for the interview with Berthe. I made sure the questions were neutral, focused on facts, and could not be met with a simple “yes” or “no” answer.

I was distracted and jumpy, and decided to do some yoga to calm down. Feeling more focused afterward, I treated myself to a soak in the tub.

Sóldís appeared with coffee as I came out of the bedroom in my robe.

“Lady Sia, you are up early today!” She looked at me with surprise.

“I’m meeting Berthe at 11:00, and want to be prepared.”

The look of surprise did not leave her face. “With Berthe?”

“Yes. At Frigga’s command. For the book. It’s part of the family events, so it should be included.”

Sóldís nodded. “Well, then. Let’s make sure you are ready.”

I reviewed the questions once again as Sóldís put me together.

“Make up, Lady Sia.”

“What? Oh, yes.” I turned to the mirror and reached for the bottle of foundation.

I was not yet accustomed to my eyes having a green cast. I wondered if anyone other than Frigga could see it. I wasn’t sure who else in the court could do magic. But if they could see the green light, they would know at least that Loki was teaching me magic. Perhaps they would guess the rest.

Well, it was nothing I could control, so no point in worrying about it. And no one other than Frigga had said anything—yet.

I finished my make up, and Sóldís removed the drape from my shoulders.

Putting the final touches on my hair, Sóldís spoke out of the blue.

“Lady Sia, you do know that Berthe’s mother is Lady Johanna?”

“Yes, Sóldís. I met her at the harvest feast the night of my arrival.”

“And you know that Lady Johanna’s reason is not sound?”

“Yes. You explained to me what had happened—the death of her husband and her sons. Both you—and Frigga—told me about Berthe.”

“Be careful, Lady Sia. Lady Johanna is dangerous in her pain.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. It is my intention to be nothing but kind to Berthe. I’m certain she needs all the kindness possible right now.”

“That is wise, Lady Sia.”

Sóldís paused.

“Also.”

“Yes?”

“Do not mention that Prince Loki has—befriended you. Or that he helps you in the library. Those could be tender points for her.”

“Yes. Sóldís. I understand.”

I wondered about her pause, and her choice of “befriended”. Best to let it go for now.

“Lady Sia, I do not mean to speak out of place. But please remember—nothing good comes from being too close to Prince Loki.”

“I appreciate the reminder, Sóldís.” I began to think she suspected—or somehow knew—about our relationship.

“I am fond of you, Lady Sia. The Queen has tasked me to ensure that your stay here is pleasant. I wish to fulfill my responsibility.”

“I understand, Sóldís. Thank you.”

Sóldís placed a few more hair pins. “And now you are ready for the day.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. This is wonderful.”

“Lady Helen says you will dine with the Queen midday. I’ll look for you in the library at four.”

“That’s perfect, Sóldís. Thank you.”

“You are welcome, Lady Sia.” She curtsied, and I started for the door.

“Lady Sia?”

I turned. “Yes, Sóldís?”

“Please be careful today.”

“I will, Sóldís. Thank you.”

* * *

Just as he had on Friday, Erik had arrived this morning with Sóldís, carrying the coffee tray for her. He then waited outside my door, and walked me to the Blue Salon.

“Thank you, Erik. You are very thoughtful.”

He bowed. “You are welcome, Lady Sia. I am here for whatever you may need. Sóldís knows where to find me.”

“I will remember this, Erik.”

He bowed again, and took his leave.

* * *

Sitting alone in the Blue Salon was surreal. Even with the three men away, the table was still set for five. I imagined inviting four of Frigga’s ladies to join me. Or perhaps Sóldís and some of her friends—who would attend, of course, since I asked, but who would feel awkward the entire time.

I was accustomed to spending time alone, but the palace was eerily quiet this morning.

I ate quickly, and retired to the library to review my notes before meeting Berthe.

I missed Loki. Seeing him. Spending our evenings together. Sleeping next to him.

He had left four stacks of books for me, each with a note. I was doing my best to be patient and save each note for its assigned day.

I knew the messenger from Vanaheim would not arrive until five o’clock. I had a long, and possibly interesting, day ahead of me.

* * *

At 10:45, I made my way back to the Blue Salon.

Tea was waiting, so I made myself comfortable while I waited for Berthe.

Just before eleven, Lady Helen entered the room, followed by a pale blonde girl. I could see no green light in her blue eyes.

I rose, and curtsied. “Lady Helen. It is good to see you.”

Helen and Berthe curtsied. “And you, Lady Sia. I present my niece, Berthe. Berthe, this is Lady Sia. The Queen has instructed her to take your story to include in the book she is writing for the King.”

“Hello, Lady Sia.” The girl looked down at the floor.

“Berthe, you must answer all of Lady Sia’s questions, honestly and completely. Do you understand?” Lady Helen’s voice was kind, but firm.

“Yes, Aunt Helen. I will do as the Queen commands.”

“Thank you, Berthe.” Helen gave the girl a hug, and turned to me.

“Please ring when you are finished, Lady Sia, and I’ll return for Berthe.”

“Thank you, Lady Helen. You are kind.”

Helen curtsied, and left the room, closing the door quite firmly behind her.

“Berthe, would you like some tea? Some wine?” A bit of hospitality might help to break the ice.

“Tea, thank you.”

“Take a seat in front of the fire. Let’s be warm.” I watched her move towards the chairs, light on her feet. Her gown was loosely fitted and unbelted.

I moved the tea tray to the low table in front of the fire, and took the seat next to Berthe. She reached for the tea, then pulled back.

“Go ahead, please! Or I can pour, if you’d rather.”

Berthe shook her head, and poured tea for herself. She set the teapot back on the table, and I refreshed my own cup.

“Berthe, I understand this might be uncomfortable for you. I have no wish to upset you. I ask for your story only because it is part of the family’s story, and it is for the book I am writing for Odin.”

“Yes, Lady Sia. I understand.”

I need her to look at me. She is not going to open up if I cannot make, and keep, eye contact.

“Berthe, I actually know very little, so the best way for us to start is for you to just tell me your story, and I’ll ask questions along the way if something isn’t clear.”

“Alright. Where do you want me to start?”

“All I know is that you are with child by Prince Loki, and that he has not acknowledged paternity.”

She turned and looked at me. “That is not correct.” Good. I can catch her eyes now.

“I am sorry, Berthe. That is all I have been told. Please, do correct me.” Me, not the story. Let her feel she has won already.

She straightened. “I was writing my own book, Lady Sia. A history. Not on the scale of what Odin has commanded of you, but my own work on my family.”

“That is wonderful, Berthe! I would greatly like to read it when you complete it.”

She smiled wryly. “Prince Loki, knowing the library better than anyone, offered to help my research.”

I nodded.

“He would find books for me, and point out the relevant parts, saving me time in searching. And he would discuss events with me, to give me a personal account of them.”

“That must have been helpful.”

“Yes, very.” She sipped her tea. “He was kind, even though no one would believe him so. He seemed happy to have someone to talk to as a person, not just as the Prince. I grew to trust him, and confided in him as well.”

I nodded. “He can be quite charming when he wishes.”

“Well, he is called Silver Tongue now, isn’t he?” She suppressed a giggle. I smiled in reply.

“One day, I was unable to focus on my work, due to family worries. I confided in Prince Loki.”

She looked up at me, and I caught her eyes and locked on them. She did not flinch, and kept talking.

“He was so patient. So understanding.”

She continued to stare at me, seeing someone else.

“And now I am with child.”

“So the assumption that Prince Loki is the father is correct, then.”

“No.” Berthe started to cry.

I pulled a handkerchief out of my sleeve, and offered it to her.

She dabbed at her tears, and resumed her narrative.

“No, he isn’t. Everyone thinks he is. But he’s not, and I can’t say who is, and everyone is sad for me and angry at him. But we never had that kind of relationship.”

“Berthe, I’m so sorry. Perhaps I can help.”

“How?” She looked at me with suspicion. “You’re not anyone.”

“Well, no, I’m not part of Odin’s court. But the Queen likes my work, and I could speak with her on your behalf.”

“There’s nothing anyone can do.”

“Berthe, you just said I’m not anyone. If there’s nothing anyone can do, perhaps there is something I can do, since I’m not anyone.”

The girl smiled a bit at the word play. “You’re clever, for a mortal.”

“Thank you, Berthe. You are kind to say so.”

“Why would you help me? If my story isn’t part of your book, why should you care?”

I smiled my warmest smile at the girl. “Because I want to help you and Siegfried.”

Berthe looked up sharply. “How do you know about Siegfried?”

_Well, I didn’t, but now I do. Thank you._

“Your uncle, Berthe. Since he is your mother’s foster brother, and she is unwell, your care falls to him.”

She looked at me with suspicion, confirming my guess.

“But there is another Siegfried, isn’t there, Berthe?”

She started crying. “Yes.”

“And that Siegfried is not someone your family approves of.”

“No. That’s not quite right.”

“But your family has some objection, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Mother doesn’t approve of anyone, or anything. Grief has destroyed her, and she’s determined that everyone else will suffer as she suffers.”

“What about your uncle?”

“He likes Siegfried. He is friends with the younger Siegfried’s father. And the younger Siegfried is his namesake.”

“So, we could speak with your uncle.”

“No. He doesn’t want to do anything to upset my mother.”

“Your mother serves the Queen, does she not?”

“She does. Rather, she did. She has not been herself, and has been excused from service.”

“The Queen thinks highly of Lady Helen, your aunt.”

“Yes. My aunt is with her most of the day. Every day.” Berthe’s voice spoke of her pride in her aunt’s position.

“Berthe, you do not know me. But I am asking you to trust me.”

The girl’s eyes widened. “Trust—you? A mortal?”

“Berthe, please. Say nothing to anyone—not even Siegfried. Give me a week.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“You trusted Prince Loki with your secret, yes?”

She nodded.

“And you have now trusted me with it.”

“I was merely following the Queen’s command to speak truthfully.”

“The Queen would not require you to speak with someone she did not trust, would she?”

Berthe tilted her head to one side, then the other. “Well, no.”

“So, if the Queen trusts me, you may trust me.”

“Well, yes. I suppose you are right.”

“Good. Say nothing to anyone, and wait a week. Once things are sorted out, the Queen will send you another command to meet with me.”

Berthe nodded.

“But you must not say anything to anyone. Not your aunt, not your mother, not either of the Siegfrieds.”

“I promise.” Her tears stopped.

“Thank you, Berthe. I will do my best.”

Berthe rose. “I am tired. I should go.”

“That’s fine, Berthe. I’ll ring for Lady Helen.”

I rose and pulled the ribbon next to the fire.

“Thank you, Berthe.”

She nodded.

Lady Helen and Sóldís entered the room.

“Lady Helen, Berthe and I had a most helpful conversation. Thank you.”

Helen smiled. “You are welcome, Lady Sia.”

She turned to her niece. “Come, Berthe. Let’s get you home.”

“Yes, Aunt Helen.” The girl curtsied.

Helen’s voice had not changed. “Good day, Lady Sia.”

I put all my thanks into my voice. “Good day, Lady Helen.”

We all curtsied, and Helen and Berthe left the room.

Sóldís turned to me. “The Queen is expecting you in the Red Salon. I will take you there.”

“Thank you, Sóldís!” I scooped up my notebook. This had gone even better than I had hoped. I was eager to tell Frigga what I had learned, and to ask her to intercede with Berthe’s family.

Erik was waiting for us in the hall, and followed quietly as we walked to the Red Salon.

 


	19. Truth and Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sia has answers for Frigga, and Frigga has more questions.
> 
> Suggested music: Suggested music: "An Unlikely Alliance" from the "Thor: The Dark World" soundtrack by Brian Tyler.

 

* * *

The doors to the Red Salon were open. The guards nodded as Sóldís and I entered the room to wait for Frigga. Erik, as usual, waited in the hallway. I was impressed at how quickly he had fallen into his position as Sóldís’ shadow.

Sóldís fussed a bit with my hair, and I was happy to let her. I took the time to replay the conversation with Berthe in my head.

Frigga entered the room, with Lady Helen beside her. Sóldís and I reverenced.

“Lady Helen, thank you for your help with Berthe. She is well?” Frigga’s smile was genuinely warm.

“Yes, Your Majesty, thank you. She is on her way home in the carriage you thoughtfully provided.”

“Very good. Thank you.” Frigga turned to me. “Lady Sia. Thank you for joining me.”

She turned to the other ladies. “We shall dine alone today.”

“As you wish, Your Majesty.” Lady Helen looked at me with a barely suppressed smile. I wondered what Berthe had told her. Or what Frigga might have told her.

Helen and Sóldís curtsied, and left the room. The guards closed the doors behind them.

“Lady Sia, let us sit. I wish to hear your news without delay.”

We took places at the table. Frigga gestured to the wine, and I poured for both of us.

“Well?” Frigga’s expression was unmasked curiosity.

“Berthe’s young man is named Siegfried. Her uncle is friends with Siegfried’s father. Her uncle likes the young man, but Lady Johanna apparently desires company in her misery, so she will not approve the match. Berthe’s uncle defers to Lady Johanna for fear of throwing her further off balance.”

“Is that all?” Frigga’s tone carried disappointment. “It seems so—ordinary.”

“That is all, Your Majesty. She’s a young girl, in love with a young man, and controlled by her mother.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“Your Majesty, you could help them. Speak with the uncle, speak with Lady Johanna.”

“I will not.”

My heart sank. Why would Frigga resist helping them? It made no difference to her, and a great difference to them—a good way to instill gratitude and loyalty into two of her subjects in a very personal way.

“I will not speak with them, or try to persuade them.”

What could I say to Frigga to convince her?

“I will simply command it. Cajoling and reasoning take too much time, and this matter does not merit that time. They shall be together, and that is the end of it.”

I was relieved I would not have to convince Frigga, and happy that things would work out for Berthe and Siegfried.

“And are you relieved that Loki is not actually involved?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, I am. Not out of jealousy over Berthe, but pleased that he is not refusing to acknowledge a responsibility.”

“You are a strange mortal, Sia. From what we have been told, all mortal women are jealous.”

“Your Majesty, I think perhaps your sources are skewed. Or from too small a sample to be truly representative.”

Frigga shook her head. “Perhaps. But I am pleased that none of this is actually Loki’s doing.”

“And pleased not to have another unofficial claimant in the line of succession?”

“That will be good news for Odin. And Thor.” Frigga stared at her goblet. “But Thor does need to tend to his duties in this regard.”

She stared at her goblet, then looked back up at me. “Let us not speak of that just now.” I could feel the curtain drop on that branch of conversation.

“Let’s see what we have here.” Frigga surveyed the dishes, and delicately chose items for her plate. I did likewise, and we resumed our conversation.

“Sia, I watched you on the balcony as the men took their leave. I was impressed with your calm.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty. I’ve never done something like that before. I was unsure what to do, so I simply followed your lead.”

“For a mortal, Sia, you have a subtle understanding of our life here on Asgard that even many of our residents can not manage. You have adapted well to the palace, and its rhythms.” Frigga sipped her wine. “Even the servants like you.”

I was uncertain how to respond. What was she getting at?

“Your Majesty, as a historian, I have spent a great deal of time studying royal courts and palace life. I suppose that is why this is all somewhat familiar to me, and why I have been able to fit in. I am pleased to be a suitable guest in your world, and in your home.”

“I am glad you are here, Sia. It is lonely without Odin and my sons.”

Right. She’s the Queen. She’s also a wife and mother.

“It probably never gets easier to watch them leave, does it?”

“No matter how many times they ride away, and return home safely, it’s hard to watch them go, wondering if they will return.” Frigga smiled at me. “Odin says my worrying about them is what keeps them safe. I think he says it to try to put me at ease. But I do worry.”

“Of course you worry, Your Majesty. Were my husband and sons to ride off to war, I would worry, too. Any woman would.”

“Are you worried about Loki, Sia?” Frigga looked at me coolly.

“Yes, Your Majesty, I am. He did his best to reassure me that he would return soon, and safely. But it’s war. And despite what the myths predict, anything could happen. So, yes, I worry.”

_I will not cry in front of Frigga._

Frigga leaned forward. “As long as the myths say they will return home soon, we have no reason to worry.”

“The myths say nothing about this particular war, so, indeed, we have no reason to worry.” I tried to reassure myself, without much success.

Frigga’s expression shifted, and she reclined in her chair. “Sia, you will have to return to Midgard, you know.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I know. I am appreciative of this opportunity, and have no reason for expectation of further favor.”

I will _not_ cry in front of Frigga.

“What will you do when Thor finds out?”

“I am not certain he will, Your Majesty. And if he does, I would hope that he would be happy for his brother’s happiness.”

“Though it comes at the expense of his friend’s happiness?” Frigga’s voice was low.

“I am happy in my love for Loki, and in being loved by him. Even though I must leave Asgard, the love remains in my heart. The time is too brief, but even if one lives a thousand years, that would still not be enough time for love.”

Frigga nodded. “Time is so brief for you mortals. And your lives start so late.”

“We do the best we can with the time we have. That’s all anyone can do, mortal or god.”

“How do you manage, Sia? Day to day, that is, knowing that your life is so short.”

“It’s no different for us than for you. We just have less time to think about it.”

Frigga nodded. “What will you do when you return to Midgard, Sia?”

“Put together the final version of the book. Resume teaching my classes. Draw, paint, write. All of the things I did before, and which are part of my life there.”

“Is that enough, Sia?” Frigga’s voice was sharp.

“It will have to be, won’t it, Your Majesty?” I attempted to keep my voice smooth.

“Yes, it will.” Frigga nodded. “What about the magic Loki has taught you?”

“It’s basic, nothing fancy. Just fire magic, as an extension of what I was already doing in meditation.”

Frigga straightened. “Already doing? What do you mean?”

“As part of my meditation, I move a candle flame in time with my breathing. Loki showed me how to move the flame away from the candle, and how to merge it with the fire in the hearth, and move it around there.”

“I see.” Frigga pondered. “Show me.”

“Your Majesty?” I was stunned. And scared. Could I do it with Frigga watching me?

“Pull one of the candles to you. Show me what you did for Loki.”

I took a deep breath, and moved one of the candlesticks closer. I started breathing and concentrating. The flame leapt up and fell back with my breath.

“That’s what I do in meditation.” I remained focused on the candle flame.

Frigga’s voice was flat. “Go on. Show me what Loki taught you.”

I closed my eyes, and tuned into Loki’s voice talking me through the steps.

I took another breath, opened my eyes, and shaped the flame as I had done at Loki’s direction, changing the shape and inverting it after each change.

Frigga watched in silence.

The hearth in Frigga’s chamber was further from where I was seated than the hearth in my room. I took a deep breath, and willed the flame to move to the hearth.

I repeated what I had done Monday evening, hearing Loki’s voice in my head as I moved the flame around.

At last, I moved the flame back to where it had started, and dismissed the triangle on the hearth.

“That’s impressive, Sia. Especially for a mortal with no training.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“How did you learn the first part on your own?”

“I visualized it as part of a meditation, and worked with it. It’s just something I do.”

“I see.” Frigga looked at me with narrowed eyes. “Your mother was a magician? Your father?”

“Neither, Your Majesty. Simple mortals. As Midgardian as a Midgardian can be.”

“Mortals cannot do this kind of magic, Sia. So either you cannot do magic, which you have just shown you can do. Or you are not a mortal.”

“My Queen, I assure you, I am a mortal of Midgard. My family tree, as far back as anyone knows, simple mortals all.”

“You have something unusual in your family tree, Sia. I am curious who—and what—that might be.”

“If I knew, I would happily tell you. But, truly, I have no unusual ancestors.”

“On your world, though, Sia, would anyone have said something? It is dangerous to be different in Midgard.”

“True, Your Majesty. But really, I come from a line of completely regular mortals. Not a magician in the lot.”

“If you say so, Lady Sia.” Frigga set her goblet on the table, clearly absorbed in thoughts.

I knew better than to disturb her thoughts.

Frigga returned to the present moment. “This has been a most interesting afternoon. Thank you for your company, Lady Sia.”

“I appreciate the invitation, Your Majesty, and I have enjoyed our time as well.”

We both rose from our chairs.

“I wish you a pleasant evening, Lady Sia.”

“And you as well, Your Majesty.” I reverenced, and Frigga left the room.

* * *

I reviewed our conversation as I walked back to my chambers. All in all, I considered the day a success. And it was early enough that I could spend several hours in the library before bedtime.

 


	20. The War is Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The messenger returns from Vanaheim returns with good news, and the men return from the war.
> 
> Suggested music: Kassias Saga, La Mandragore: https://lamandragore.bandcamp.com/track/kassias-saga

* * *

“Lady Sia! Come to the Throne Room! Quickly!”

I looked up in surprise to see Sóldís standing in the door of the library, and Erik close behind her.

“The messenger from Vanaheim is on his way from the Observatory! Come!”

I grabbed my notebook and stuffed it into my bag.

Erik bowed, and took the bag from me.

“Do you know what the news is, Sóldís? The earlier messenger had said there was no change. Something must have happened for there to be a second messenger.”

“I do not know, Lady Sia. But I hope he brings news of peace.”

“That is my wish as well, Sóldís. I would like the men to return home safely.”

_And I would like the man I love to return home safely._

We entered the Throne Room to see a number of the ladies, and the men who had not been taken to fight, waiting for the Queen. Sóldís made to move forward, nearer the throne with Frigga’s ladies, but I preferred to remain close to the door, and she remained with me. Erik, her faithful shadow, was next to her.

I felt the need to explain, lest Sóldís think me ungrateful. “I don’t want anyone thinking that I’m presumptuous. I’m not one of Frigga’s ladies.”

Sóldís shook her head. “You are her guest. That is enough.”

Just then, Frigga entered from the side with an escort of four ladies and four guards, and took the throne.

The crowd reverenced, and we all waited in silent anticipation.

The messenger, with an escort of four Einharjar, entered through the main door and approached the throne.

“Your Majesty, I bring news from the King.” He bowed.

“We will hear it.” Frigga’s mask of calm held firm.

I could feel myself shaking.

“The armies of Asgard are victorious, and return home. Tonight.”

The room erupted into shouts and cheers. Frigga relaxed visibly.

After a minute of celebration, she held up her hand. The room fell silent.

“Thank you, good messenger. You bring news which brings joy to the hearts of us all.”

The man bowed again. “I am pleased to be able to bring you good report.”

“Let us prepare to welcome home our King, our Princes, our generals, and our fighters.”

The crowd roared.

Frigga stood, and the crowd fell silent again.

“Go to your duty, with thankful hearts.”

Frigga exited the throne room, followed by her ladies and the guards. The crowd began to disperse.

I hadn’t realized I was crying until Sóldís gave me a handkerchief.

“Relieved that your friend is coming home safely, of course.” Sóldís smiled.

“Yes, Sóldís, I am. I have been so worried about Prince Thor.”

“Of course you have, dear.” She patted my hand.

I was becoming more convinced that Sóldís knew of my relationship with Loki.

“Let’s get you changed and done up. They’ll be here soon, and you must be ready to greet them.”

She turned to Erik. “Please bring some tea for Lady Sia.”

He bowed, and headed off on his errand.

Taking my arm, Sóldís navigated through the crowd to one of the side passages, and back to my suite.

* * *

“There, Lady Sia. The first of the army returns.”

Sóldís pointed out the window towards the Observatory.

“First, the wounded are brought back to the Healing Rooms.”

“Then, the dead. They are taken to the Temple.” Sóldís’ voice was low.

I thought of the healers and the priestesses, and wondered what it must be like to have to deal so directly with the effects of war.

“There are more wounded than dead, and not many of either. Asgard has been fortunate.”

We watched silently as the steady stream of men and horses flowed from the Observatory along the main road to the palace, and up the eastern hill to the Temple.

“The King and Princes always return last, after everyone else is safely home.”

I nodded, and felt even more certain that Sóldís knew of my feelings for Loki.

“From the looks of it, they’ll be here in an hour or so. Let’s dress you so you can be waiting on the balcony.”

“Thank you for explaining things to me, Sóldís, and for making sure I do the right thing. Life on Asgard is so different. I would be lost without your kindness.”

Sóldís curtsied. “Lady Sia, your well-being is my only concern while you are here. I want you to enjoy your time on Asgard, and hope that you might return.”

_She must know._

“Thank you, Sóldís. I have no idea what the future might hold, but I do know I would be happy to be a guest here at the palace any time I am welcome.”

“Good. Now let’s get you ready to greet the King and the Princes.”

* * *

A half hour later, and Sóldís was leading me to the balcony where I had stood with Erik and watched the army leave for Vanaheim. My heart was pounding with excitement at seeing Loki again, and with trying to be patient.

“Erik, since you were with me on Thursday to watch the men leave, I thought you might stand with me to watch their return.”

“I would be honored, Lady Sia. Thank you.” He bowed.

I sat in the chair near the window, keeping an eye on the Observatory. Frigga was not yet on her balcony, and I knew I should wait for her to take her place.

“Would you like some wine while you wait, Lady Sia?” Sóldís was clearly anxious to have something to do while we waited.

“Perhaps some wine and a bit of food in my room, Sóldís. I do not think there will be a state supper tonight.”

“An excellent idea, my lady.” With a curtsey, Sóldís left the room.

An especially bright flash from the Observatory caught our attention. Erik went to the window.

“They’re back, Lady Sia! That was the Bifrost closing. And the Queen is on her balcony.”

“Thank you, Erik. Let’s go.”

I stepped out onto the balcony, and Erik followed, standing just behind me.

“Come forward, Erik, so you can see better.”

The boy moved silently and stood next to me. Without thinking, I put my arm around his shoulders.

I looked up at Frigga. Smiling and confident, and not having to act—her loved ones were returning safely.

The column of men moved quickly, and soon Odin, Thor, and Loki came into view.

“There, Erik! Do you see the King and the Princes?”

“I do, Lady Sia!”

I tried to focus on Loki, to see if the dark stains on him and on Sigurd were mud—or blood. He rode straight in his saddle, so my hope was that it was only mud.

Odin rode up to the palace gate, the Princes on either side, the generals and troops behind.

“We are home, my Queen! My wife! Asgard is victorious!” Odin’s voice rang out across the courtyard.

Loki looked up to the balcony, and I felt my heart go to him on a smile. He returned his heart with his smile, and turned back to face Frigga.

“Welcome home, my King and husband! Well done, Princes, generals, and warriors all!” Frigga’s joy and relief filled her voice.

“Well done, armies of Asgard! Stand down, and take your rest.” Odin dismissed the troops, who turned and began the last march of the day.

Two grooms came forward to take Odin’s horse. Thor and Loki did not dismount. I knew they would see to their horses, and reminded myself that a few more minutes was nothing compared to the days of waiting.

Frigga left her balcony. I imagined she felt much as I did—relief and joy at the safe return of the man she loves.

“Lady Sia, your table is set with wine and food, when you are ready.” Sóldís had joined us on the balcony. I could see her scanning the men.

“Thank you, Sóldís. Even though it’s early, I think I shall retire now.”

“I will attend you, Lady Sia.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. You are kind to offer, but I am well. I will have a quiet evening tonight, and you may do the same.”

Sóldís curtied. “Thank you, my lady. I will bring coffee in the morning, at the usual time.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. Goodnight.”

“Erik, come lad, let’s leave Lady Sia in quiet.” Sóldís gestured to him.

“I should escort Lady Sia back to her room, so she will be safe.”

Sóldís looked at the boy, and at me.

I turned to Erik. “That’s good of you, Erik. I would be delighted to have you escort me.”

Sóldís smiled. “Very well, Erik, but then go straight back to your quarters once she is safe.”

“Of course, Lady Sóldís!” Erik bowed to her, and then held out his hand to me.

I took Erik’s arm, and we set off down the passageway to my suite.

* * *

“And here you are, Lady Sia, safe at your chambers!” Erik gently removed his arm from mine, and bowed.

It was hard to believe this was the same shy boy who almost dropped the tray and could barely speak just a week ago.

“Thank you, Erik! I appreciate your care.”

He bowed again. “I am honored to be of service to you, Lady Sia, and hope to always be so.”

“I hope so as well, Erik!”

“Goodnight, Lady Sia!”

“Goodnight, Erik!”

I watched him walk away, standing straight, head up, foreshadowing the good man he would grow up to be.

* * *

I entered my suite, and saw that Sóldís had restored the fire as well as setting out food and wine.

I poured a bit of wine, and stood in front of the fire.

I had no idea how long I would have to wait for Loki, what his post-battle obligations would be.

I resigned myself to the idea that I might very well fall asleep before he could slip away.

I pulled one of the books from the pile on the table, and opened it. I could at least read while I waited.

A knock on the door interrupted that idea. I raced to the door, hoping to see Loki.

Erik was standing there, holding a note.

“For you, Lady Sia.”

“Thank you, Erik! Please, don’t go just yet.”

“As you wish, Lady Sia.”

I turned and saw the familiar green-and-gold border on the envelope. With shaking hands, I opened it.

 

_Sia, My Love!_

_I am safely home,_

_and will be in your arms_

_within the hour._

_Your love,_

_Loki_

 

“Erik, please come in and wait just a moment. I will write a reply.”

 

_My Dearest Loki ~_

_I await you with open arms,_

_and a heart filled with love._

_Your Sia_

 

As I sealed the envelope, I had another thought, and pulled out a second card.

 

_Dear Thor,_

_I am so pleased you are home safely!_

_I look forward to seeing you tomorrow._

_Rest well, my dear friend._

_Affectionately,_

_Sia_

 

I addressed and sealed the second envelope, and handed both to Erik. “Please give Prince Thor his message first.”

“I shall, my lady!” With a quick bow, Erik ran off down the hallway.

Just in case Thor had any idea of stopping in tonight, I wanted to reassure him that I would see him tomorrow. Tonight was for Loki.

I returned to the divan, and attempted to read, attempted not to watch the clock as I paged through the book.

Finally, I heard a soft knock at the door. _Oh, please, let this be Loki._

I opened the door, and there he stood. I pulled him in, and he closed and locked the door behind him in one move.

“Loki! Darling!”

Feeling his arms wrap around me was sweet relief and pure joy. I knew he was truly home and safe.

“Sia! My love! I have missed you more than I have words to say.”

We shared sweet kisses, and laughter, and tears.

“Let me pour some wine for you, Loki. Sóldís set out supper as well.”

“She is a treasure!” Loki took a seat at the table and began filling his plate.

I realized Sóldís had set the table for two.

_Well, she’d done that last week as well, when Thor came for breakfast. Right?_

I poured wine for Loki, and refilled my own goblet.

“Loki, you’re home. My love.” I felt tears building up.

“Yes, my darling, I am! And I am overjoyed to see you, and be with you! I’m sorry it took so long for me to get here. We took care of the horses, and of course we went to see Frigga. And then I had to bathe—you would not want to have been near me!” Loki laughed.

“Nothing could make me not want to be near you, Loki!” My heart was singing to have him with me. “Thank you for sending the note, Loki.”

“I didn’t want you to worry. Well, not any more than I figured you had already worried.” He was trying to conceal his tiredness.

“Thank you, my love. I was worried, and I was trying to be patient.”

Loki smiled. “I appreciate how hard it was for you, and I wanted to give you at least a bit of peace.” Loki took a drink from his goblet.

I touched the pendant over my heart. “And thank you for this, my love. It has given me great comfort while you were away.”

“It’s lovely on you, my darling. I am so glad you like it.”

“How could I not like it, Loki? It’s perfect!”

“I knew Erik would get it to you before I left. He’s a good lad. Young, but there’s something about him. He is wiser than he seems. And he’s a quiet one. Trustworthy. I’m going to keep my eye on him.”

“I was noticing that tonight. Just a week ago, he was nervous and shy. But now he seems to have found his stride. He has been escorting me around the past few days, and even insisted on walking me back here tonight to make sure I reached my chamber safely.”

“I told him to keep an eye on you and make sure you were safe and happy while we were away.”

“He did a very good job, Loki. He definitely has promise.”

“Speaking of promise, Sia . . . .” Loki smiled over his wine.

“You promised to return safely, and I promised to be here for you.” I returned the smile.

Loki stood, and took my hand. “Come, Sia. Let us to bed.”

In spite of the emotional stress and physical tiredness of the war and the waiting, we made the most of Loki’s return.

 


	21. Victory, and Much to Celebrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The victory feast brings many surprises.
> 
> Suggested music: Music for the Royal Fireworks, G.F. Handel (and this one has visuals!) https://youtu.be/ZuG1t2smdCQ

 

* * *

Sóldís had arrived early to help me dress for the victory feast. “Almost done, my lady.”

I felt her making adjustments to the braids, pinning then securely into some fabulously complicated arrangement.

“And—there!” I felt the jeweled comb slide into place.

I turned and looked in the mirror. Perfect, as always. Sóldís had a special talent.

“Thank you, Sóldís! I will fit in well with the Queen’s ladies tonight.”

I hoped to be seated with Lady Helen again, even if it meant sitting with Lady Johanna. I wanted to hear more about Berthe and Siegfried. Now that the truth had come to light, and Frigga had announced their marriage, I hoped that they were both happy and content.

“You are the loveliest of them all, Lady Sia!”

“Thank you, Sóldís! Your skill makes me shine.”

A knock on the door, and Sóldís went off to answer.

It was far too early for Thor to be here to escort me to the hall.

I heard voices in the other room, and walked in to see who the visitor was.

“Lady Helen! How lovely to see you!”

“Lady Sia, it is a pleasure to see you.” To my surprise, she curtsied.

I returned the curtsey, trying to control my curiosity.

“I have something for you. The Queen wishes you to wear it tonight.”

Helen held out a velvet box.

I took a deep breath, and took the box.

“Thank you, Lady Helen. Her Majesty is kind to think of me.”

I opened the box. A flash of jewels came from inside.

I removed the lid, and saw the source of the flash.

A platinum circlet, set with sapphires and emeralds.

I couldn’t breathe.

A. Circlet. From. Frigga.

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

“Lady Sia, are you well?” Sóldís’ voice broke through my confused thoughts.

“Yes, Sóldís. Quite well.”

I looked at Helen. Surely she knew what was in the box. Did she know why?

“Lady Helen, I am honored and amazed at Her Majesty’s kindness.”

I looked back at the circlet.

_I am to wear this tonight._

“Sóldís, we will need to fix my hair for this.”

I held up the circlet. The gems sparkled and flashed.

Sóldís stared.

“Her Majesty thinks highly of you, Lady Sia.” Helen’s smile was polite, and a bit amused.

“I—yes. I am flattered.” I really did not know what to think.

“I will leave you and Sóldís to redo your coiffure. I look forward to the pleasure of your company this evening, Lady Sia.”

“Thank you, Lady Helen! I, too, look forward to time with you. And please—give the Queen my thanks for these extraordinary jewels.”

Helen curtsied, and left the room.

I looked at the circlet, and at Sóldís.

“My Lady. The Queen surely favors you.” Sóldís looked at me with a mixture of awe and curiosity.

“Yes, Sóldís. So it seems.”

I looked at the circlet, shimmering in the velvet box.

“Sóldís, please fix my hair.”

I sat down on the dressing chair, facing the mirror this time, holding the velvet box with the circlet on my lap.

Sóldís removed the jeweled comb, and unpinned some of the braids. A few deft moves, and the braids were repositioned and pinned.

Looking into the mirror, I removed the circlet from the box.

I placed the circlet on my head.

Sóldís adjusted it so it sat evenly in back as well as front.

Silently, we both stared into the mirror.

“Lady Sia. You look like a Queen.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. I must say, I feel like one. This is truly amazing.”

“The Prince will be pleased.” She smiled tautly.

Before I had time to reply, there came another knock on the door, and Sóldís left the room to answer.

_Surely she knows. She was not referring to Thor, not in that tone of voice._

I heard Sóldís welcome Thor into the outer chamber.

I rose, took another look in the mirror, and joined them.

Thor stared.

I reverenced. “Prince Thor.”

He bowed. “Lady Sia.”

“Your mother sent this for me to wear tonight. I am honored by her kindness.”

“Sia. You are stunning. You look like a Queen.” Thor continued to stare.

“Thank you, Thor. I shall do my best to be one this evening.”

Thor held out his arm, and I gently laid mine atop his.

“Thank you, Sóldís, for your good care. Please, take the evening and enjoy the feast with your kin.”

Sóldís curtsied. “Thank you, my lady. I shall.”

“And Sóldís—take the whole night. I am well attended this evening.”

Sóldís looked surprised. “As you wish, my lady. I will be by in the morning.”

“Thank you, Sóldís.”

“Goodnight, my lady.”

* * *

Walking next to Thor, I felt as though I were floating.

Frigga had sent me a jeweled circlet. To wear at the victory banquet. In front of everyone.

The colors certainly were not a coincidence.

Loki was waiting in the hallway just outside the feast hall. I could see him catch his breath, and was pleased to have that effect on him. I noticed he was wearing the twin to my circlet, rather than the gold and emerald circlet he had worn at the harvest feast.

“Brother! Sia!” He bowed. “Come this way.”

Thor and I looked at each other, and followed Loki to the back passageway, where the royals enter the hall.

The chamberlain smiled as we approached. “Splendid! Right on time. This way, please.”

“Thor, I believe I am to sit with Frigga’s ladies again tonight.”

“Oh, no, Lady Sia. You are to sit at the head table.” The chamberlain smiled. “The Queen’s wishes.”

“Well, then, of course.” I was shaking inside.

“Wait here, please. The King and Queen will be along presently.”

We could hear the crowd, already seated and chattering, the clink of goblets as wine was poured.

“Prince Thor, could I see you for just a moment?” The chamberlain pulled Thor outside the vestibule where we waited, leaving me alone with Loki.

“Sia, my love. You are the most beautiful woman in all the realms.” Loki kissed me, sweet and long.

“Loki, what is going on? Frigga sent this circlet. And now I am sitting at the head table?”

Loki smiled. “Frigga is pleased with your work, and wishes the court to know.”

“Is that all, Loki?” Looking into his eyes, I felt myself melting.

“As far as the court knows, my love, yes.” Loki kissed me again. “Frigga, of course, knows more.”

“You will be seated next to Thor, as his guest, and I will be on your other side.”

“This is going to be a long night, Loki.”

Loki kissed me again. “In many ways, dear Sia. In many ways.”

Thor rejoined us. “In many ways?”

“Oh, just discussing with Sia our respective worlds, different in so many ways.” Loki smiled at Thor.

“Sia, you will be sitting next to me tonight, and Loki will be on your other side. Is that alright?” Thor looked at me anxiously.

“That will be perfectly fine, Thor. I am honored to be seated with Asgard’s princes.”

The chamberlain hurried into the room. “Line up, walk out! Their Majesties are entering the hall.”

Thor took my right hand, Loki my left.

I took a deep breath, and the three of us walked into the hall.

I knew my life would never be the same after tonight.

* * *

We fell in behind Odin and Frigga.

Other nobles, companions of the King and Queen, were behind us.

Sif, Fandral, Hogan, and Volstagg formed an escort at the rear of the procession.

The hall was glowing—firelight, torches, candles, reflecting he gleam of gold and silver plate, the jewels of the guests, the shimmering fabrics of their robes.

The roar of welcome as we entered the hall was deafening.

It was marvelous.

The three of us walked smoothly, evenly paced. I smiled, and glanced around, side to side. See everyone, be seen by everyone.

I turned, and saw Loki looking at me with soft eyes. I melted, and gave him a smile from my heart.

Whatever happened tomorrow, tonight was perfect.

We made a circuit of the room, then took our places at the head tables.

I looked out at the room, the sea of faces, the light.

This is the kind of thing that happens only in movies.

And yet, here I am. At Odin’s and Frigga’s table. Friend of Thor. Lover of Loki. Historian of Asgard.

_The things they never tell you in graduate school._

“Kinsmen! Friends! Subjects all!” Odin’s voice rang out to the ends of the hall. “Tonight, we celebrate our victory! Peace is restored to Vanaheim.”

The crowd roared.

“We thank our soldiers, our generals, and our princes for securing our victory and increasing our glory.”

The crowd roared again. The generals bowed. Thor and Loki nodded.

“A toast! To our gallant troops!”

The crowd roared, and drank.

“And now—let the feast commence!”

The crowd roared again, then resumed their seats. Servants raced out from all corners, carrying dishes and pitchers and bottles, serving the revelers with alacrity.

Thor and Loki both reached for my chair at the same time. I looked side to side, and smiled at both of them.

I seated myself, and together they slid the chair into place.

Thor gave me a puzzled look, and took his own seat.

Loki moved his chair closer to mine as he sat, still at a proper distance, but close enough that I could feel his warmth.

“Loki.” I smiled at him.

“Sia.” He raised his goblet, smiled, and drank.

Yes, this was going to be a long night. I was quite looking forward to it.

Lady Sif was seated to Thor’s right, then Fandral, Hogan, and Volstagg.

The room was a whirl of lights, an endless procession of amazing food presented in beautiful gold and silver dishes, a constant river of freely-flowing wine, and sparkling conversation. Music and the low roar of the guests’ discussions provided a helpful background noise for those parts of the conversation best left between me and Loki.

“Lady Sia, you look like one of us tonight!” Fandral’s smile was genuine, even as his tone was flirtatious.

“Thank you, Fandral. You are kind to say so.” I returned his smile.

“I believe Lady Sia is one of us, and somehow ended up on Midgard by accident, and has now returned to her proper home.” Loki raised his glass to me. “Welcome home, Lady Sia. May you be with us, always.”

Thor stared at Loki, then at me. I suspected he had just noticed the matching circlets.

Giving thanks for all of my acting experience, I raised my glass to Loki in return. “Thank you, Prince Loki. You are most kind to say so.”

The others lifted their glasses to join Loki’s toast. “To Lady Sia.”

“Thank you, my friends.” I looked around. “This is the most amazing night of my life. Thank you all for sharing your evening with me.” I toasted them each in return.

Sif spoke up. “Lady Sia, Thor says you are an excellent rider. Perhaps you would join me on Friday?”

I was flattered. I knew Sif did not suffer fools gladly—or at all, really.

“I would be delighted to join you, Lady Sif. The roan mare has been a good mount, and I would enjoy riding with you.”

Thor smiled. “Lady Sia, I will make sure Sigrid is ready for you on Friday.”

“Thank you, Prince Thor!”

Loki chimed in. “You’d best take a cloak this time, Lady Sia.” His sly smile made me laugh inside.

“I will be sure to ask Sóldís to have one ready for me.”

The conversation continued pleasantly, drifting up and down the table. The hours passed in a lovely, soft haze of golden light and laughter.

Thor was staring at the table. I looked down, and realized Loki had taken my hand in his, and was holding it lightly, his fingers twined in mine.

“Brother.” Thor looked at Loki.

“Yes, brother?” Loki looked Thor squarely in the eye.

Sensing the tension, Sif turned from her conversation with the men and focused on Thor.

“Lady Sia is our friend.”

“Yes, Thor, she is.” Loki’s gaze did not waver. “And she is the woman I love.”

That was _not_ what I was expecting tonight.

Nor was Thor.

“What?” He looked at Loki incredulously, and then at me. “Sia? What?”

_Loki, could we have talked about this first? Maybe this isn’t the right time or place for this conversation?_

_Sia, my love, do you think people do not know already?_

_If they do, it’s not because I have told them._

_There’s no reason not to tell them. I am proud of you, and proud to be loved by you._

_As I am of you, Loki. But here? Now?_

_Yes, my love. I want everyone in Asgard to know._

_Oh, Loki. I hope this is as good an idea as you think it is._

_It is, my love. Trust me._

_I trust you, Loki._

“Yes, Thor. It’s true.” I sounded much more calm than I felt. I was shaking inside. Loki’s hand was warm and reassuring on mine.

“But Sia—“ Thor stared at me. “Why? How?”

“As any two people find they love each other, Thor.”

“But, Sia. It’s _Loki_.” Thor was unable to process the idea.

“Yes, Thor, I know. Loki loves me. I love Loki.”

Thor shook his head. “This is quite unexpected.”

“Yes, it is, Thor. But it is wonderful. We are quite happy.”

Loki leaned closer, and put his arm around me.

“Thor, it’s wonderful.” Loki smiled warmly at Thor. “Sia is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. I’m a different person because of her.”

“For Sia’s sake, I hope that is the case, Loki.” Thor looked at me with concern. “Sia. Are you sure?”

“Yes, Thor, I am sure. Loki has been perfectly kind and respectful.”

“Sia, if you are happy, then I am happy for you.” Thor did not look particularly happy as he said the words.

Sif and the Warriors Three stared in silence.

Thor raised his glass. “To your happiness. My brother Loki, and his love, Lady Sia.”

The four fighters raised their glasses. “To your happiness. Loki and Sia.”

Loki and I nodded. “With thanks, my friends, for your good wishes.” I had no idea how I managed to form the words. My head was swimming.

Loki replied as well. “My friends, thank you! I have never been so happy in my life.”

Loki raised my hand to his lips, bestowing a soft kiss on each finger.

Desire flamed up from my center, and I could sense Loki’s desire answer.

“Loki.” Odin’s voice cut through the moment.

“Yes, Father?” Loki’s voice and face were calm.

“What is going on?”

Frigga leaned close to Odin and began to whisper. I froze. Loki did not release his hold on my hand.

“I see.” Odin lifted his goblet. “A toast, to our scholar, and my sons’ friend.”

I nodded as everyone at the head table raised their glasses.

I managed to find my voice, calm and even, somewhere inside. “Thank you, all of you, for your warm welcome and generous hospitality.”

Odin, Frigga, and their companions resumed their separate conversation.

Our side of the table was silent.

Thor took a deep drink from his goblet.

Loki leaned close. “Sia, Let us go now.”

“Loki, we can’t leave yet. You know that.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to.” He kissed my ear.

“Loki! We’re at the head table. A little decorum, if you please.” I laughed.

“I will give you decorum, my dear.” He chuckled as I melted into his gaze.

Suddenly, Odin and Frigga rose.

“My subjects! Take your ease, drink your fill. A health to you all, and goodnight!” Odin provided the signal we were glad to hear.

“A health to you all, and goodnight!” Frigga’s voice carried perfectly across the hall.

We all rose, and watched them exit. The doors closed behind them, we took our seats, and the revelry resumed.

Loki leaned in. “We can leave now.”

“Yes.” The heat of the room and the wine mixed with our desire in a heady cocktail of near-delirium.

Loki rose, and helped me from my chair.

Thor and his companions rose. Revelers at the tables closest to ours turned to see what was happening.

“Lady Sia and I shall retire for the night.” The smile on Loki’s face was filled with the light of a thousand stars.

“Rest well, brother. Rest well, Lady Sia.” Thor was clearly uncomfortable.

“Thank you, Thor. Sweet dreams and peace to you this night.” I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Dropping my voice, I whispered. “It’s fine. Truly. I’m so happy. Thank you.”

Thor nodded, unconvinced.

“Goodnight, Thor. Goodnight, dear friends.” Loki was beaming.

Sif and the men bowed. Loki took my hand, and we walked out of the great hall, out the royals’ entrance.

The passageway was deserted, and only half-lit at this time of night.

Loki pulled me into his arms with the sweetest of kisses.

“Sia, my heart! My soul! I love you! And now everyone knows!”

“Yes, they do, Loki. I hope that is a good thing.”

Loki kissed me. “It is, Sia. It is.”

Loki held out his arm. “Shall we?”

I rested my arm lightly on his. “Yes, we shall.”

* * *

Odin slammed the door of his study.

“What in all of the Nine Realms was _that_?” Odin’s voice was at full volume.

“Lower your voice, please, Odin.” Frigga shook her head. “What do you think it was?”

“I will _not_ have my son making a fool of himself over some mortal girl in front of the entire court!”

“Loki did not make a fool of himself, as much as you tried to make a fool of him.”

“It’s bad enough that Thor has lost his senses over that Jane person! But for Loki—Loki!—to similarly fall for some mere mortal. It’s embarrassing.” Odin’s anger pulsed in every word.

“It’s not embarrassing.”

“Disappointing, then!”

“Our son has found a worthy woman to love, a woman who loves and respects him. How is that disappointing?”

Odin could not believe what his wife was saying. “We have no business mixing with her kind.”

Frigga looked at Odin, unmoved.

Odin’s voice shook with his agitation. “Frigga, she’s _mortal_!”

Frigga’s voice was calm and firm. “No, Odin. She’s not.”

 


	22. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are most definitely not the same.

 

* * *

I heard the door to the hallway open, and two sets of footsteps in the outer chamber.

Sóldís and Erik, bringing coffee.

The door between the rooms was closed. I hoped that was a clear signal to Sóldís.

Waking in Loki’s arms was the perfect start to the day. Last night had gone quite late, however, and I was not yet ready for the day to start.

I kept my eyes closed and breathed in Loki’s scent.

I heard the outer door close, and then silence.

I slipped back into sweet sleep, in the arms of my love.

* * *

“Sia. Darling.” Loki kissed me awake.

I sat up and opened my eyes. He was sitting next to me on the bed, holding a cup of coffee.

“Loki, you are an angel.” I kissed him as I took the cup.

Loki laughed. “An angel? I’ve never been called that before.”

“Coffee is heavenly. Anyone who brings it therefore is an angel.”

We laughed, and kissed, and laughed again.

“I should pull myself together for the day.” I looked at our clothes from last night. We’d managed to put them on chairs, at least, instead of leaving them on the floor.

The two circlets sat side by side on the table.

Loki smiled at me and reached for the coffee. “It’s early yet.” He took a drink from the cup.

“Not as early as you want me to think it is.” I couldn’t see the clock, but I knew we’d slept in.

“Not as late as it’s going to be.”

Loki smiled as he set the empty cup on the table next to the bed.

* * *

“Sia. Darling.”

I woke to see Loki fully dressed, standing next to the bed.

“Sleepy darling.” Loki kissed me. “Sóldís is here. I’ll see you at breakfast shortly.”

“Oh! Yes.” I blinked and looked around. “Yes, my love. I’ll be there soon.”

Loki kissed me, and walked into the other room, leaving the door open so I could hear the conversation.

“Good morning, Sóldís!” Loki was all charm.

“Good morning, Your Highness.” Sóldís’ voice was filled with questions.

“Lady Sia is ready for you now.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” Sóldís was clearly perplexed, and not entirely approving.

“Thank you, Sóldís. Be well.”

I heard the door to the hallway open, then close.

I took a deep breath, and slid out of bed.

“Sóldís, I’m just going to freshen up, and then we can dress.”

“Yes, Lady Sia.”

I slipped into the bathroom, rinsed off quickly, and put on the clean chemise waiting for me.

Sóldís met me in the bedroom, where she was putting away my clothes from the previous night.

“Thank you for the coffee, Sóldís.”

“You are welcome, Lady Sia.”

She finished putting away my clothes, and turned to view the circlets on the table.

“Those can stay where they are, Sóldís.” I enjoyed seeing them there together.

“Lady Helen will be back for your circlet. I will put it in its case.”

She looked around the room, but the velvet box was not in sight.

Sóldís went to the outer room, and returned empty-handed.

“Lady Sia, where is the case?”

“I don’t know, Sóldís. It was here last night.”

Sóldís sighed, and shook her head. “The Queen will not be pleased.”

I stood up straight. “Frigga will have other things on her mind today.”

Why was I suddenly so angry with Sóldís?

“Now help me dress for breakfast.”

Breathe, Sia. What is going on?

“Please.”

Sóldís pulled my nicest day dress and undergown from the armoire, and helped me into them without speaking.

I sat on the dressing chair, and she picked up the brush.

“Something simple, please, Sóldís. I need to get to the library.”

“As you wish, my lady.”

Sóldís worked in silence, her fingers deftly braiding and pinning.

“There.”

I turned and looked in the mirror. I noticed the sodalite and amber comb in my hair. I hadn’t said anything; Sóldís had taken it upon herself to upgrade my daytime hair style.

“Perfect, Sóldís. Thank you.”

I rose, and Sóldís followed me to the outer room.

“Sóldís, what is the matter?” I knew what was upsetting her, but I would not let her off the hook so easily.

“Nothing is the matter, my lady.”

“Sóldís, you have barely spoken to me this morning. Something is wrong. What troubles you?”

“I have no troubles, my lady.” Sóldís looked down, and back to me. “But you will.”

My anger flared, and I caught myself before I could speak. _Breathe, think, then speak._

“What do you mean, Sóldís?”

“Lady Sia, I told you—Prince Loki is nothing but trouble. No matter what he says—even if he means it at the time—he is incapable of genuine kindness. And he certainly is incapable of love.”

“Sóldís, why would you say that? We all know the truth about Berthe. The child is not his, and she is now happily to wed the man she loves.”

“Because, my lady, trouble is his nature. No matter what he might say, or do, otherwise. He escapes the consequences because he is a Crown Prince. But you, my lady, are merely a visitor from Midgard. You have no such protection.”

“I need no protection. And if I do, Prince Loki will protect me.” My heart was pounding in fury.

“And who will protect you from Prince Loki?” Sóldís looked at me with a mixture of sadness and concern.

“Prince Loki loves me. I need no protection from him.” Why was she being like this?

“As you say, Lady Sia. I hope it is true.”

I took a deep breath. “I am off to breakfast now, Sóldís. Please take your leisure until four o’clock. I will be joining the Princes at table mid-day.”

“As you wish, my lady.”

“Thank you, Sóldís.”

I turned to go.

“I will bring two cups tomorrow, Lady Sia.”

I paused in the doorway, and turned to look at her.

She was letting me know she still didn’t approve, but she understood.

“Thank you, Sóldís.”

“You are welcome, my lady.”

“And, Sóldís—Loki loves me. I would stake my life on that.”

“For your sake, Lady Sia, I hope that is true. And I hope you never have to.”

I looked at Sóldís. I realized I knew nothing of her, her family, her life. What had she been through to make her the way she is?

“I know it is true.”

I left the room.

* * *

I walked alone to the Blue Salon for breakfast. No doubt Erik was sleeping in after last night’s festivities. I was grateful for a few minutes to myself.

I mused over the previous night’s events. The circlet. The procession. The head table.

Loki’s declaration to Thor of his love for me.

Odin’s sharp and angry question to Loki.

Surely Odin knew by now. That was going to be quite the complication.

Why had Loki chosen last night to tell the world?

We hadn’t actually talked about that last night after we left the feast and returned to my chambers. I must ask him tonight.

I paused, and took a deep breath.

Seeing Thor this morning could be—complicated.

I reminded myself that Loki and I are adults, and can choose freely to love each other.

I so wanted to believe that, and at the same time, my historian’s mind knew it was not true.

I turned the corner and saw Loki coming up the passageway from the other side of the palace.

“Sia! My darling!” He strode to me, and kissed me.

“Loki, my love!” My heart was singing.

“Shall we? I’m famished!” Loki took my arm, and we entered the Blue Salon.

Thor was at the table. From the looks of things, he had just arrived as well.

“Sia! Brother.” Thor stood.

“Good morning, Thor!” I kissed him on the cheek.

“Brother! Good morning!” Loki gave Thor a sideways hug. Thor seemed surprised, and patted Loki’s back.

We filled our plates from the sideboard, and sat down together.

“The feast last night was marvelous! Did you enjoy it, brother?” Loki flashed a genuine smile at Thor.

“It was quite the evening.” Thor nodded. “I’ve never had an event quite like that.”

“Did you enjoy it, Sia?” Loki was smiling broadly.

“It was, indeed, quite the evening. The most amazing evening of my life.”

“I’m so glad, my darling. All I want is for you to be happy.”

Thor’s grip on his cutlery was so tight that his knuckles were white.

“Brother! Enough!” Thor was shaking.

“What, Thor? Enough what?”

Thor set down his knife. “Enough cruelty!”

Loki pulled back in surprise.

“Cruelty, brother?”

“How dare you connive to make Sia love you, when you know you cannot offer her honor?”

“Honor? I speak of love, and you speak of honor. How do I dishonor Sia with my love?”

I clutched the arms of my chair. This was not what I expected, and certainly not what I was prepared for so early in the day.

“Loki, Sia is lovely, but she is mortal. She will have to return to Midgard. The Allfather will not permit her to stay. You dishonor her by wooing her with promises you know you cannot keep.”

“I will keep my promises to Sia, Brother, regardless of Odin’s opinion on the matter.”

“Loki, not even Mother could bend Father’s will on this. You know that. And so, I say you are cruel to tempt Sia with your words of love.”

Loki’s voice became quiet. “Thor, you are wrong. My love is true, and honorable. I am not cruel.”

“Thor, please.” I shook myself out of my fear, and found my voice. “Loki speaks truthfully. I assure you, he has been a true prince, and I have no cause for complaint.”

Thor looked at me as though I had lost my mind. “But Sia, you know you cannot stay. And yet you choose to love him?”

“Yes, Thor. I know this. I knew it when I chose to accept his love. It’s not a happy ending, but we are happy now, and will be as long as we can.”

Thor shook his head. “Sia, I thought you were too sensible, too smart, for this.”

“Thor, love has little to do with being sensible or smart. The heart has its own wisdom. Loki’s heart chose me, and my heart chose Loki.”

Thor sighed. “Sia, you love of your own free will, and are truly happy?”

“Yes, Thor. I never thought I’d love someone like this, or be this happy. Ever.”

“Very well. Brother, I retract my earlier words, and apologize for the haste in which they were spoken.”

“Thank you, brother.” Loki relaxed a bit.

“And Sia, I hope you know what you are doing.” Thor looked at me, and then at Loki. “I wish you both all the best, for as long as possible.”

“Thank you, Thor.” I smiled. “Your understanding means so much to me. And to Loki.”

I smiled at Loki in reassurance. He returned the smile.

I felt sad for Thor. Here was his brother, the black sheep of the family, daring to publicly declare his love for a woman of Midgard. And Thor, the good son, the chosen heir, who loved Jane sincerely, could not even mention her name in front of his parents. The injustice no doubt weighed on his heart.

“Sia, I have let Sigmund know that you will need the roan mare for your ride with Lady Sif on Friday.”

“Thank you, Thor! That’s very kind of you.”

“Sif has arranged an escort, since it will be just the two of you.

“But what will the Warriors Three do without her for an afternoon?” I was teasing.

“Oh, I’ll find _something_ for them to do!” Thor laughed.

“Let me guess—that _something_ will involve beer!”

“A good guess, Sia!” We all laughed.

“That’s so unlike all of you! Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Loki joined in the teasing.

_How pleasant this is. A light conversation and laughter._

_Yes, it is, my love! Thank you._

_It does my heart good to see you and Thor laughing together._

_Yes, it is good._

“Right! I should get out to the stables and see what’s what.” Thor stood.

I looked at the clock. “I should get to the library.”

“I will be happy to walk with you, Sia.” Loki stood. “And then perhaps I could join you at the stables, Thor?”

Thor was surprised. “Why—yes, of course, Loki! I will see you there shortly.”

“See you at the stables, Thor.”

The brothers exchanged warm smiles.

My heart melted.

Thor took his leave. Loki took my arm, and off we went to the library.

 


	23. Dining with the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No longer simply a guest, Sia tries to fit into her new role. Not everyone is pleased at the change.

 

* * *

Despite having more coffee than usual at breakfast, and tea all afternoon, I found myself yawning over the books in the library.

I reluctantly closed the book and set it back on the table. I would stop fighting my body, and give it the nap it so clearly needed.

I gathered my things, and turned to leave the room.

Loki was standing in the door, smiling.

“Loki! What a surprise!” I smiled to see him, despite my tiredness. “I didn’t hear you approach. Have you been here long?”

“No, my love, I just arrived.” He took me into his arms with a sweet kiss. “Are you done for the day?”

“Not really. But sitting still just makes me want to sleep, so I am going to indulge in a nap.”

“Last night’s festivities did go rather late, didn’t they?” Loki’s grin of satisfaction melted my heart.

“Yes, yes they did.”

Loki took my hand, and we walked back to my chambers.

* * *

I was relieved to find that Sóldís was not in the room. I was certain that she was not ready to deal with the Prince’s presence in my chambers, and I was also certain that I was not ready to deal with her unreadiness.

As I set my notebook on the table, I heard Loki lock the door.

He crossed the room, and took me into his arms. With mock solemnity, he declared, “You need rest, my darling.”

The door rattled, followed by a knock.

“Lady Sia, if you are in there, I have a message for you from the Queen.”

Loki tightened his arms around me. “Don’t answer.”

“I have to, Loki. Otherwise, she’ll let herself in to leave the message on the table here.”

Loki sighed, and kissed me again.

Before I could move, Loki had crossed the room and opened the door.

Sóldís went pale, then curtsied. “Prince Loki, I am sorry to disturb you. I have a message for Lady Sia from the Queen.”

“Not a disturbance at all, Sóldís.” Loki stood to the side. “Please, come in.”

I smiled reassuringly at the poor woman, who was obviously uncomfortable with Loki in the room.

“Lady Sia, the Queen requests your presence at supper tonight, at eight o’clock, With the rest of the family.”

_The rest of the family? Interesting phrasing._ I looked at Loki, who just smiled.

“Of course I will be there, Sóldís.”

She relaxed a bit. I wondered if she really had thought that I would refuse Frigga’s command. It was an invitation, but there was no option to refuse.

“I will let her know, Lady Sia. Thank you.”

“Please return at 6:30 to help me dress, Sóldís.” I could see Loki still near the door, trying to keep his composure.

“Yes, of course, my lady. Do you need anything before then?” She seemed reluctant to stay, but unwilling to leave.

“I am well, Sóldís. Thank you. Please take the message to the Queen, and return at 6:30.”

Sóldís curtsied. “As you wish, Lady Sia.” She turned and headed for the door, stopping to curtsey to Loki as well.

“Your Highness.”

“Sóldís, a good afternoon to you.”

She curtsied again.

“And please give my regards to my mother.”

It was my turn to remain composed.

“Yes, of course, Your Highness.”

Sóldís fled out the door, which Loki closed and locked behind her.

“Poor Sóldís! I am sorry she is suddenly so uncomfortable.”

“She’ll adjust, my love. She’ll have to, since you are going to be here a while. I am certainly going to be here!” Loki laughed.

“Now that we know we are expected for dinner, I really need a nap so I can be awake enough to have my wits about me.”

Loki grinned at me with an expression that did not speak of sleep. “Well, then, let’s get you to bed, straight away!”

Loki picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, closing the door behind us.

* * *

“Loki, darling. We have to get up. Sóldís will be here any minute.”

Loki buried his head in my hair, nuzzling my shoulder. “Don’t want to. Let’s sleep.”

I slipped sideways and sat up, his arms still around my waist. “We can’t, my love. Your parents are expecting us for supper very soon.”

“Don’t want to.” Loki moved closer, still clasping me in his arms.

“Loki, we must. More than ever, it’s critical for me to be an exemplary guest. Which includes being on time for supper.”

Loki sighed, and sat up. “You are right, of course, Sia.”

“Supper won’t go late tonight, and we can sleep in a bit tomorrow.”

“That will be wonderful.” Loki kissed me and slid out of bed.

I put on my chemise and robe, and watched him dress. So precise, and so elegant, in all of his movements, and yet it took him mere moments to put on his clothes.

He kissed me long and sweet. “I will see you at supper, my darling.”

“Yes, my love!”

I watched him as he opened the door to the sitting room, and out the main door to the hallway. _This is the man I love. This is the man who loves me._

The clock chiming shook me out of my reverie. I went to the bathing room to wash up so I would be ready for Sóldís when she arrived.

* * *

Loki appeared to walk with me to supper. Sóldís had already taken her leave as soon as she finished my hair. I had let her go early, happy to give her a chance to leave before Loki arrived. I was not happy that she was uncomfortable when he was present, but was determined to make it as uncomplicated as possible for her until she could adjust.

The circlets had disappeared during the day, to be taken back to Frigga. I admired the comb in my hair, but missed the sparkle and flash of the circlet.

Loki kissed me. “Sia, darling! You are even lovelier today!”

“I hope you always see me that way, Loki!”

“Always!” Loki kissed me again, pulling me tight against him. “I cannot wait for supper to be over.”

I found myself instantly distracted. “Me, too. So let’s go and get it over with, so we can be back here all the sooner.”

“Good thinking, my love.” Loki bit my lip, and kissed me, hard. “Just so you don’t forget how much I want you while we wait.”

“I could never forget, Loki.” My knees were close to buckling. I clung to him until I felt steady. I stood up straight, imagining the circlet on my head. _Calm, cool, collected._

“Shall we?” Loki held out his hand, and off we went.

* * *

The Chamberlain was fussing with the table when we entered the West Salon. He stopped, bowed, and resumed whatever he was doing.

Thor was waiting at the far end of the room, staring out the window.

We crossed the room to join him.

“Sia! Loki!” Thor’s eyes lit up, and we hugged all around.

“Let’s have some wine, shall we?” Thor led the way back to the table.

The Chamberlain turned to Thor. “The Queen wishes you to sit here tonight, Prince Thor.” He gestured to the chair next to Odin where I had sat previously.

“Prince Loki will have his usual place next to the Queen, and Lady Sia will sit here.” He indicated the chair between the seats the two princes would occupy.

_I see. I am no longer the visiting scholar. I am Thor’s friend, and Loki’s . . . Something._

_You are my love, Sia._ Loki smiled at me.

_Thank you, Loki._

The side doors opened, and Odin and Frigga entered. Without stopping, they crossed the room and were seated.

We took our seats as well.

Silence emanated in waves from Odin, and none of us chose to disturb it.

The staff served us quickly, and withdrew.

I reminded myself to breathe. At least this time, it was not the night before the start of a war. Still, the fact that the staff did not remain in the room, and that their withdrawal had obviously been pre-arranged with the Chamberlain, did nothing to calm my nerves.

Frigga was the first to speak. “Thor, Loki tells me the two of you spent the day together.”

Odin looked up, surprised. “Doing what?”

Thor grinned. “Loki had written down all of the changes we spoke of last week for the stables, so we went through the list together as we walked through the stables. We discarded some ideas, came up with some new ones, and have list of changes to review with you, Father.”

Odin’s astonishment showed on his face. “Really? Well. Let’s go over them tomorrow.”

“Of course, Father!” Thor seemed pleased by Odin’s response, and even Loki permitted himself a smile.

I stole a look at Frigga, who appeared quite pleased, and also slightly amused.

“And your day, Lady Sia? How was it?” Frigga’s smile seemed genuinely encouraging.

“My day was pleasant and productive, Your Majesty. A good day at the library.”

“I am pleased your research is going well.” Frigga looked sideways at Odin.“Thor mentioned that a few additional days might be helpful for you.“

“I have completed the initial research I had in mind, but of course I have found other subjects of interest, so more time would definitely be useful.”

Odin reached for his goblet, and said nothing.

Frigga relaxed. “Then you shall have the time you need.”

Pure elation filled my heart. “Thank you, Your Majesty! You are kind to extend my visit.”

Loki’s face lit up with joy. _I told you, my love! We shall have more time together!_

Odin looked at Frigga with disbelief. Clearly, this was not something they had discussed. Or, if they had discussed it, they had not agreed on it.

Frigga gave him a look that said, _Do not even think of arguing about this right now._

Odin took another drink from his goblet, and resumed eating.

Frigga smiled reassuringly. “Let me know how long you will stay, and know that you are welcome.”

_Sia, you can ask for as much time as you need to do your work._

_Thank you, my love. It all depends on the university._

_Stay. Please._

_As long as I can, Loki._

“Thank you, Your Majesty. I need to coordinate some things on Midgard, and will have an answer for you in the morning.”

Odin cut in, and glanced at each of his sons. “Let’s meet at 10:00 at my study to talk about the stables.”

Both princes nodded.

Odin stood, and we all rose. “Goodnight.” He began to walk towards the side door.

Frigga put a hand on her husband’s arm. Odin paused, and waited while she hugged each of their sons and wished them goodnight.

“And a good night to you as well, Lady Sia.” She patted me on the shoulder. Not a hug, but clearly a sign of affection, and much more than I had expected.

Frigga turned, took Odin’s hand, and they left the room.

The three of us looked at each other, and resumed our seats. We finished the meal with a pleasant and uneventful conversation, not mentioning what had just occurred.

* * *

Loki and I walked without speaking back to my chambers.

Sóldís had left mulled wine, and I had given her the night off.

Loki closed and locked the door behind us.

“Sia! My darling! How long can you stay?” Loki’s smile was filled with hope.

“I was supposed to leave today. Last week, Dean Franklin approved my request for two additional weeks.”

“Two weeks! Sia, that’s wonderful! I am so pleased you can stay, my love.”

Loki covered me in kisses.

“Me, too, Loki. Being with you makes me so happy.”

“Let’s be happy together always, Sia!”

“I like this plan, Loki.” I pushed away all thoughts of leaving in two weeks. I much preferred to think about “always”. The reality of our limited time would be all too real, all too soon.

Loki kissed me sweetly. “Mine, always.”

 


	24. Summoned to Odin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday starts pleasantly. In the afternoon, Odin summons Sia to his study. She expects it is not to share tea and secrets, as she had done when Frigga sent for her.
> 
>  
> 
> Suggested music: "O Fortuna" from Carl Orff's "Carmina Burana". https://youtu.be/BNWpZ-Y_KvU

 

* * *

Waking in Loki’s arms, wrapped in love and warmth, was bliss.

_And I have two more weeks of this bliss._

_Enjoy it. Don’t count it. Just enjoy it._

Loki stirred, and kissed me.”Is it really time to get up?”

“Yes, my darling, it is. You and Thor are meeting with Odin at ten.”

“Right.”

Loki kissed me again, and slid out of bed.

“I’ll be back to walk with you to breakfast!” Another kiss, and off he went.

* * *

Sóldís did her usual efficient job of putting me together.

“What is your schedule today, my lady?”

“The usual, Sóldís. I will be in the library until supper.”

“The Queen says you will be staying a while longer.”

“Yes, she graciously offered me more time to continue my work. The university has granted me additional time as well, so I will be here another two weeks.”

“Oh, Lady Sia! That is wonderful!”

“I am very happy about it, Sóldís.”

“I do like having you as a guest, and am pleased you will be here longer.”

“Thank you, Sóldís. You are very kind to say so.”

“It’s true, my lady. You are good for the princes, and the longer you are here, the better things are.”

She curtsied, and left me standing there to consider her words.

* * *

Loki and I entered the Blue Salon for breakfast to find Thor had just arrived.

Frigga was already seated at the table.

“Good morning, my sons! Good morning, Lady Sia!”

“Mother! What a pleasant surprise!” Loki kissed Frigga’s cheek.

Thor did likewise. “Indeed! It is good to see you here!”

“It’s been a while since we have spent a morning together. Since you’re seeing Odin at ten, I thought I would have breakfast with you first.”

We served ourselves, and joined Frigga at the table.

The sun shining through the windows, the beautiful room, the sparkling company—all in all, a perfect start to the day.

The conversation flowed pleasantly, and time flew.

Frigga looked up at the clock. “You should go to your Father.”

“Do you have the list, Loki?” Thor looked over at his brother.

Loki held up a leather tube. “In here, Thor.”

“Well then, let’s go!” Thor jumped up, and kissed his mother’s cheek again.

“Thank you for a pleasant start to the day, my sons!” Frigga was beaming.

Loki kissed her cheek again. “It’s always wonderful to see you in the morning.” Loki’s contentment was plain to see.

“Thank you as well, Mother.” Thor was clearly happy.

Loki kissed me. “See you soon, my love!”

I returned the kiss. “Yes! And good luck with the plans!”

The brothers left the room, watched by two adoring women.

“It does my heart good to see them getting along again.” Frigga smiled the smile of a happy mother.

“Yes, it is very good. It means so much to both of them to be close again.”

“Loki is different with you here, Sia.”

I noticed the lack of the formal tone. “He is a good man, Frigga. He just needs acknowledgement of that.”

She sighed. “Yes, and that acknowledgement has been so hard for him to earn.”

“You are a wonderful mother to him.”

Frigga smiled. “He has not been easy to deal with, especially for his father. They are, in some ways, too alike to get along.”

I nodded. “Sometimes it’s easier to get along with someone who is completely different from you, than it is to get along with someone just like you.”

“Yes, and that is so often the case with Odin and Loki.” She sighed. “But at least my sons are doing well together.”

I watched her as she looked out the window, absorbed in thought. So regal, so graceful—and still, a worried wife and mother.

“Sia, I am glad you can stay to continue your work. I am pleased you feel comfortable here.”

“I am grateful for the additional time, Your Majesty. It will allow me to do even more detailed research.”

“And also to have more time with Loki.”

I felt myself tear up, and blinked quickly. “Yes, more time with Loki will be wonderful. Thank you.”

She turned to look at me. “You do not expect more than this?”

I shook my head. “I do not, Your Majesty. I am grateful for the time I have.”

“Very well.” She stood. “Make the most of it.”

I rose. “I shall, Your Majesty. Thank you again.”

Frigga left the room.

I took a deep breath, and headed to the library. Two more weeks would give me enough material for a second book, perhaps a third book. An amazing gift of time and opportunity, and one to be appreciated fully through diligence and concentration.

* * *

“Lady Sia, the Allfather commands your presence.” Sóldís was nervous and obviously upset.

“Me, Sóldís?” I was confused, and frightened. Things at the palace were going so well—or so I had thought.

“Yes, Lady Sia. Now.” Sóldís looked at the floor.

I stood up, and smoothed my gown.

“Is my hair alright, Sóldís? Should I change into something more formal?”

“Your hair is fine, Lady Sia. And we do not have time. The Allfather is waiting for you.”

“Very well, Sóldís. Please take me to him.”

* * *

I focused on breathing evenly, hoping to calm my body, if not my mind. Whatever Odin had to say to me was not going to be easy, or pleasant. We would have that kind of conversation publicly.

The guards outside Odin’s study greeted us with a nod. The senior guard spoke. “I will let the King know you are here.”

At least we are meeting in his study, and not in the Throne Room.

I defended my doctoral thesis with three unsmiling, unspeaking senior professors. I can do this. He’s just a King. And a god.

“The King will see you, Lady Sia.” The guard opened the door.

“I will wait here for you, Lady Sia, if you wish.” Sóldís attempted a smile of reassurance.

“Thank you, Sóldís. You are kind to offer.”

“I do what I can, Lady Sia.”

Sóldís seated herself on the bench next to the door.

I took a deep breath, and entered Odin’s study.

* * *

Odin was seated behind a large desk, framed by a window with a perfect view of Asgard. Huginn and Muninn rested on elaborate perches next to the window.

I reverenced, and smiled calmly at Odin.

He rose, and gestured to me to join him at the window.

“Asgard, Lady Sia. The Realm Eternal.” He paused as his eye scanned the landscape. “One day, Thor will be King, when I am gone.”

I joined him in admiring the view. “Thor will be a fine king, and do right by Asgard.”

“Loki will be his advisor. He will be calm when Thor is riled, and provide sound counsel when there are too many options, and none of them are good.”

“Your sons will do well, Your Majesty. You have every reason to be proud of them, and to feel secure about your legacy.”

“Thor will need a wife, a good wife, to provide heirs.”

“I have no doubt there are many ladies of Asgard, both courtier and commoner, who would be delighted to be his queen.”

Odin chuckled. “Frigga assures me there is a nearly endless list of candidates.”

“However, you have someone in mind, and Thor is not yet in agreement.”

Odin looked at me sharply. “He has spoken to you of this?”

“Not at all, Your Majesty. However, given my work as a historian, it is not a difficult situation for me to imagine.”

Odin appeared to relax. “Loki, too, will need a wife. A proper _Asgardian_ wife.”

 _Ah. That._ “A good wife helps a good husband be a great man.”

“Lady Sia, you are an intelligent woman. And a beautiful one. I understand how my son would find you attractive.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” I nodded.

“Oh, don’t thank me. It’s just the reality.” Odin turned and gave me a half-smile. “But that does not change the reality that you are a mortal, with a short life, and a woman of Midgard.”

I nodded.

“You have done good work here, Lady Sia. I have no doubt the final result will be magnificent.”

“I appreciate the opportunity to do it, Your Majesty.”

“I am sorry you are a mortal, Lady Sia. You would be a jewel in Frigga’s court had you been born in Asgard.”

I nodded, unable to speak.

“Further, I am sorry you love my son. I haven’t seen him this happy in centuries. But you do understand that he has other obligations, other considerations, and you are not part of those?” Odin looked at me sternly.

“Yes, Your Majesty, I do understand. I am a historian. I understand full well the obligations of princes.”

Keep breathing, Sia. Keep calm.

“Good. Then we will have no scenes when you leave.”

“Your Majesty, I am not a child. I do not make scenes.”

“That will make your departure today less difficult, then.”

I reeled. _Today_?

“Last night, the Queen said I could stay to do additional research.”

“The Queen and I had not discussed the matter.”

“She has the right to offer hospitality in her home.”

“And I have an equal right to say who is in my home.”

I suspected that he had not informed Frigga of his decision to act today. “Of course, Your Majesty.”

“You understand you will not return to Asgard. Ever.” Odin’s eye regarded me coldly.

“That will not change the fact that Loki loves me, or that I love him.”

Odin stared at me. “That is neither here nor there. He belongs here. You belong there.”

“We will be together in our hearts, here and there.”

Odin blinked, and recomposed himself. “Sóldís will take you back to your chambers and help you pack. Be ready in an hour for Thor to take you to the Bifrost.”

 _I will not beg_.

“As you command, Your Majesty.” I reverenced. “Thank you for your hospitality, and for the unique opportunity to work in the royal library of Asgard. I hope my work will repay your troubles.”

Odin seemed surprised, as though he had expected an argument. “You are welcome, Lady Sia.” Odin nodded. “I wish you a pleasant life.”

I reverenced again, and turned to leave. Keep breathing, keep walking, keep your head high. He knows you are suffering. No need to let him see it.

I reached the door, and turned back to face Odin.

“Loki is a wonderful man, and you are fortunate to have him as a son.”

Odin stared at me with an expression of open surprise.

“Farewell, Allfather.”

I walked out of the room.

* * *

 

Sóldís jumped up as I returned to the hallway.

“Lady Sia, the guard says you are to leave in an hour, and I am to help you pack so you are ready on time.” Her distress was visible.

“Yes, Sóldís, it’s true. The Allfather believes my work here is complete, so I am to return to Midgard.”

“I am sorry, Lady Sia.”

“Thank you, Sóldís.”

I paused for thought.

“Sóldís, please find Erik, and bring him to me. I will begin packing, and you can help me finish.”

“Erik? But he—“

“Sóldís, please. This one time, simply do as I ask. This is important.”

“As you wish, Lady Sia.”

Sóldís curtsied and took her leave.

I took a deep breath, and walked back to my room.

I had to see Loki before I left. I had to at least try.

* * *

I pulled my messenger bag out of the dresser and set it on the table. It looked so out of place, just as it had when I’d arrived.

I didn’t have much to pack, and certainly not enough to require assistance from Sóldís.

“Lady Sia, we are here.” Sóldís and Erik entered the room. Erik bowed.

“Thank you, Sóldís.”

I turned to Erik. “Erik, I need you to take a message to Prince Loki. Time is short.”

“My lady, the Prince is not in the palace.” Erik tried not to wince as he spoke the words.

“Where is he, Erik?” I tried not to panic.

“The King sent him out with Thor to tend to some piece of business. I don’t know where they went, or when they will return.” Erik looked at the floor.

“I see.” Damn you, Odin. You did that on purpose. It’s not enough to have me leave abruptly, you have to deprive me of seeing Loki as well?

“I would expect them back soon, since Thor is supposed to take me to the Bifrost.” I tried to think calmly. That would mean Loki would return as well.

Wouldn’t it?

Never underestimate Odin.

“Well, then, Erik, I’d like you to wait at the gate. The instant Prince Loki returns, please tell him Frigga commands him to come to me.”

We had set that up as a coded message to convey that something urgent had arisen.

“I shall, my lady!” Erik bowed, and raced off down the hallway.

“Sóldís, I have written a note of thanks to the Queen. Please take it to her.” I handed the carefully folded and sealed letter to Sóldís.

“Lady Sia, I am supposed to help you pack.” Sóldís looked worried.

“I have already packed the few things I brought, Sóldís. Nothing more remains to be done.”

“Very well, Lady Sia. I will be as quick as I can.” Sóldís curtsied, and left the room.

I realized I should change clothes. I slipped out of the Asgardian gown. Buttoning my shirt and putting on trousers felt odd. I missed the length of the gowns already.

I carefully hung the gowns in the armoire so that Sóldís would not have to tidy up.

I paced the room, hoping to hear Loki’s steps in the hallway.

The clock ticked relentlessly, minute following minute.

No Loki. No Erik. No Sóldís.

I willed myself to sit still on the divan. Pacing was only making me more agitated.

The divan. Where Loki shared his joy with me, his happy memories. Where we first kissed.

I began to cry. The minutes continued ticking away, and I remained alone in the room.

Where was everyone? I would have expected Sóldís to return by now. What was taking her so long to deliver the letter to Frigga?

The minute hand of the clock moved relentlessly forward, and still I was alone.

At quarter to the hour, I knew it was hopeless. None of them were coming.

I forced myself to leave the divan, to walk around the suite one last time.

The table, where I had read Tarot for Loki, and we had shared wine.

The fireplace, where Loki had taught me magic.

The bed, where we had made love and shared dreams.

I couldn’t bear it. I returned to the main room.

Five minutes to the hour.

Thor appeared at the door.

“Sia. I am so sorry. Father just informed me that I am to take you to Midgard, now.”

I held back the tears.

“Thor, where is Loki? I must see him.”

Thor looked away, and back at me. “Odin has sent him to the countryside on business. He will not return until evening.”

My heart broke. “Then I will not see him before I leave.”

“No, Sia. I am sorry. If I had known, I would have said something to him.”

“I know, Thor.”

I looked around the room. The clock struck four.

“We must go, Sia.” Thor was clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“Yes, Thor. We must.”

“Sigmund will carry your bag.”

Thor’s captain had been waiting in the hallway, and entered the room. “Lady Sia, do you have anything else?”

“No, Sigmund. Just the bag. Thank you.”

Thor offered me his arm. We walked the passageways in silence.

Thor’s horse and the roan mare were waiting. Thor helped me into the mare's saddle, and was quickly on his own steed. Sigmund mounted his brown horse. We started towards the Observatory.

 


	25. Beyond the Dreaming Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One story ends. A new one begins.
> 
> Suggested music: "Beyond the Dreaming Place", Steeleye Span. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt4PMQgvFSo

 

We rode to the Observatory in silence. My heart ached so badly, I had no breath to speak.

We reached the Observatory. Thor helped me down from Sigrid.

“Sigmund, please take Sia’s bag inside. We’ll be there in just a moment.”

I looked out over Asgard. The late afternoon sun bathed the land in gold. It truly was a paradise. “Asgard is so lovely, Thor. Thank you for arranging my visit here.”

Thor looked out at the landscape, unable to meet my eyes. “I am glad you love Asgard, Sia. And I am glad the visit was helpful for you.”

“More than helpful, Thor! The knowledge I have gained will make all the difference in my work, in my career.”

“I am sorry you must leave. For your sake, and for Loki’s.” Thor continued looking out at the horizon.

“Thank you, Thor. I hope that the two of you can become close, as you once were. He loves you, and respects you.”

“I will try, Sia. He has been different while you have been here.”

The sound of a horse in full gallop echoed behind me. I turned, and saw Loki on his black stallion.

“Sia! Sia!” Loki was riding at breakneck speed towards the Observatory.

My heart leapt. I knew Loki would not be able to change the fact of my leaving, but at least we could see each other one more time.

“Sia! My love!” Loki dismounted with alacrity, and caught me in his arms.

Thor's voice shook. “Loki, Odin says I am to take Sia to Midgard now.”

“Yes, Thor. I know. But surely a few minutes makes no real difference to Odin.”

Thor shifted.

“A few minutes makes all the difference for me. For Sia.” Holding me tightly, Loki gazed unblinking at Thor.

“Very well, brother. I will wait inside.” Thor left us.

“Sia, my love. This is not goodbye forever.” Loki kissed me sweetly, powerfully.

“Loki, Odin has specifically said I am not to return to Asgard.” Tears flowed down my cheeks.

“He has, indeed. But that does not mean I cannot see you on Midgard.” Loki’s arms tightened. “I could not bear to be apart from you forever.”

“Midgard is not what you think, Loki. Life there is different—very different—than life here.”

“Sia, all worlds are different. The only thing that matters is that you are there. Wherever you are is where I shall go.”

“Loki, I love you. I believe you. I just don’t know how I am going to go through each day, knowing I will not be in your arms each night.”

“My love! My Sia! I am with you always, in your heart.” He touched the pendant over my heart. “And I will be with you on Midgard when I am able.”

Loki stroked my hair. “It will not be as often, or as much, as either of us would like. But I will be there, and be with you as I can.”

Seeing tears at the corners of his eyes made my tears flow more freely.

“Loki. Love.” I could not find words, and even had I found them, could not have spoken them.

“Sia. Love.”

A kiss like honey, a kiss like fire.

“I will be thinking of you until I am again in your arms, Sia.”

“As I will be thinking of you, Loki.”

A sweet, lingering kiss, and another.

“I will be on Midgard soon, Sia, my love.”

“Loki, my heart, I will be there for you.”

“Lady Sia?” Sigmund called from the observatory. “We are waiting for you.”

“Yes, Sigmund. Just a moment.”

A kiss like honey, a kiss like fire.

“Be brave, Sia. I will be there for you soon.”

“I will, Loki.”

“Remember every day how much I love you.” Loki’s eyes were streaming.

“I will, Loki. Remember every day how much I love you.” My tears would not stop.

“I will, Sia. I love you.”

“I love you, Loki.”

Loki slowly pulled his arms away. It took all my strength not to swoon into them.

We stood barely apart, and yet with a universe between us.

“Soon, Sia. Soon.”

“Soon, Loki.”

I turned and went back into the observatory where Heimdall, Thor, and Sigmund were waiting.

“Are you ready, Sia?” Thor attempted a comforting smile. Sigmund was looking at something very interesting on the ceiling of the observatory. Heimdall stared at me intently.

“Yes, Thor. I am ready.”

_No, I am not ready. I never will be ready. But I cannot stay where I am not welcome._

I stood next to Thor. He wrapped his left arm around me.

“Ready, Heimdall.” He nodded at the Gatekeeper.

“Thank you, Heimdall.” I nodded.

“I am merely doing what my King requires.”

Heimdall’s face was expressionless as he inserted the sword into the Bifrost hub. I heard the sound of the gears, and the lights began to dance. I knew what to expect this time.

The roar of the Bifrost, the rush of lights, the sense of motion without movement.

And suddenly I was standing in my living room.

“Are you well, Sia?” Thor looked at me anxiously.

“Yes, thank you, Thor.” I set my bag on the floor and looked around. So familiar, and yet so strange after my time in Asgard.

“Thank you for everything, Thor. You were a wonderful host, and you have been a good friend to me.” I bit my lip so as not to cry.

“Sia, you are a wonderful woman, and a great scholar. I am happy to have furthered your work, and I look forward to the finished book.”

“Thor, I—“ The tears came, and I was unable to stop them. “Thor, please wait just a moment.”

I raced down the hallway to my bedroom, and pulled my favorite volume of poems. Flipping through quickly, I found the one I sought. I ripped the page from the book, and grabbed a pen.

 

_Loki, My Love ~_

_For you, from me, for always._

_Your Sia_

 

I folded the sheet and tucked it into an envelope, and raced back to the living room.

“Thor, please—give this to Loki.”

Thor sighed. “Sia—“

“Thor, please? I know you are concerned about angering Odin. But if Jane wanted to send you a message, wouldn’t you want someone to carry it to you?”

Thor swallowed, and nodded. “I will do this for you, Sia.”

Thor leaned forward, and kissed me on the forehead.

“Sia, please take care of yourself.”

“I will do my best, Thor. And you as well.”

He nodded.

“Please also give my thanks to Sóldís and Erik. I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.”

“I will, Sia.”

“Thank you.”

I smiled at Thor.

“Farewell, Sia.”

“Farewell, Thor.”

Thor stepped back, and raised Mjolnir.

“Ready, Heimdall!”

The familiar rumble, the flash of light, and then I was alone in my living room.

 

**_The story does not end here._ **

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sia's adventures with our favorite Asgardians will continue! I'm about 70% into the next installment. I'm occupied with some Real Life Things for the next few months, so I expect to have the next story complete and ready to go by the end of 2016.
> 
> As our friends at the studio say:
> 
> "Sia will return in Sticks and Stones!"
> 
> Your post-credits teaser scene can be found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019175/chapters/18359023


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